Roots and Wings

The older I get, the more I am convinced of the importance of being grounded in every aspect of who we are. The deeper our roots - the higher we can ‘fly’. It never ceases to amaze me how the spiritual world mirrors the material one!

A tree needs strong deep roots to grow tall and healthy. A tower block needs deep foundations to stabilise every floor. So…the higher we go - the deeper we need to dig! This is true not only in concrete terms - it is also true about us!

Returning to our ‘roots’ can be both painful and illuminating. I’ve yet to meet anyone who has had a perfect childhood. Looking back it’s all too easy to catastrophise or fantasise about the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ aspects that we remember. Memories will always be influenced by the emotions that we have attached to them.

My own experience of ‘returning’ has changed me in ways I could never have imagined. I have faced parts of myself that I previously denied - some parts of which I am not proud, the ‘dark side’ you could say! I know i’m not alone in this, for we are all subject to the full spectrum of emotions as we travel through this life. It’s just that the face we present to the world 🌎 is really only a fraction of the person we truly are.

I know i’ve often spoken here about the masks we wear to cover our true selves. I am no exception. I grew up learning that to be accepted I needed to be the ‘good girl’ - which usually meant suppressing parts of myself that I felt were unacceptable. I wanted to be loved, but I struggled to love myself.

As a result I found it almost impossible to recieve love from others because I never felt deserving of it. I would subconsciously push away anyone who treated me kindly or with affection, only to chase after those who were unloving, distant or presented a challenge - because it felt safer and didn’t reveal my insecurities around intimacy.

Facing the ‘darker aspects’ of myself and offering love to those parts, has been a lifelong lesson for me. It is only since I have been able to accept myself ‘warts n all’ that I have experienced a new freedom and an inner unity that has enabled me to truly love and accept myself -and others - exactly as they are!

Becoming whole within changes the way we look at the world and ourselves. It illuminates the reasons for our past difficulties and triumphs. It clearly shows us, in retrospect, how the choices we made were influenced by our lack of clarity about the person we truly are as a beloved child of God.

How many of us, I wonder, given this new perspective, would love to start over with a clean slate and ‘rewrite’ our story from the beginning! It may sound enticing - but wait a minute - what about all the lessons we learned on the way! I am once again reminded of the saying - ‘life makes more sense backwards’. I remember my mother saying something similar to me when I was young and laughing it off at the time. She used to say - ‘I wish I was your age and knew what I know now’.

It is only recently I understand the full impact of her words - for with age comes wisdom! My 20 year old self did most things with abandon, hardly considering the future, because I felt I had enough time left to correct any of my mistakes. At 70 though, I have become more adept at considering the impact of my choices and actions, and live more in the moment than when I was younger.

The future is not certain for any of us! We cannot know in advance what each tomorrow will bring. The world today seems to be on the brink of disaster - with wars and rumours of wars, earthquakes and tsunamis, and social and political instability at every turn!

Whilst the future may appear uncertain, and external events out of our control, we CAN control what goes on inside us - the way we think and perceive what is happening and the way we choose to respond to it. We are powerful then, only when we understand the source of our power, and use integrity in our weilding of it.

Reaffirming ourselves in our roots will mean rewriting our story from a new perspective - being patient with ourself and kind about our mistakes. Letting ourself ‘off the hook’ and recognising that we were growing and evolving with every event, situation and relationship. It is a true saying that we can only offer to others what we first offer to ourselves. The same forgiveness, the same kindness, the same love.

Remembering that, will allow us to move through the world with a greater degree of stability - being internally not externally powered. We will know with certainty that we are loved and not be forever seeking that love outside of ourself. We will be free.

May you be supported on your journey with the sure and certain knowledge that you are loved by God - and that you yourself hold the same love within you to share with others as you travel.

Many blessings 🙌 🙏

Carole 💜