I don’t often have time to scroll, ironic since I have ‘social media influencer’ in my title. But when I do, the algorithm mostly punishes me with diabolical contraptions for 50+ women (most of which I buy) and cats (one time, people, one time!) , cute animals and the occasional gem like this one. A true masterpiece on what things are worth holding on to. Spoiler alert, this woman chose her new hat over her dignity and I can’t say I disagree. It reminded me of my own somewhat ludicrous moment of balancing motherhood, life and fashion and it took me all the way back to 2013. This is one of my favorite things about social media, and presumably its original purpose, connecting things…people, ideas and in this case memories. Read on to see the possible origination of one of my catchphrases, “The Ego Has Left the Building.”
July 2013
So Tuesday was Ivy’s birthday. With all the craziness going on, I somehow got my housekeeper to make cupcakes to bring to school at 2 pm for the class party. It was a particularly hot day. There are certain days in Dallas where clothing should not be mandatory. Its simple torture to have a waistband, a bra strap, or even, dare I say it, a hat close to your skin. Everything inevitably feels like a bathing cap and lifejacket. I’m constantly looking around for the life boat.
Anywhoooo... I decided to wear (to school) this fantastic “pool” caftan that has embroidered mirrors at the neckline (probably not the best choice as I effectively was now wearing a reflector around my neck). It sits blessedly away from the body, and if I keep my arms down and make sure to stand with the sun in front of me it isn’t too see-through. I mean, what the hell? Who do I know here anyways???
Paired with my Rag and Bone clogs and my new McQueen clutch, the look was sensational. See the thing about a day clutch is that it’s completely impractical and infuriating, but stunning and chic to wear. You are constantly trying to find a place to put it when sifting for keys, holding other bags, finding your sunglasses. It’s a nightmare. I usually don’t cave for the day clutch but this one was a must. Black satin and leather with painted gothic flowers. “To die for” and “I’ll wear it forever” were the justification for the purchase.
So it’s now 1 pm and I have just enough time to run to a toy store and pick up something for Ivy to open that night, along with the ice cream cake she requested (which I tell you takes much logistical thinking in 104 degree heat and traffic). Feeling fashion fine, I strut through the strip mall on a mission. I need to leave the mall at 1:30 sharp to get the cake and gift home, pick up the cupcakes, and drive to school for the 2 pm cupcake deadline.
The toy store sells me on the hottest new item they have. It’s a massive Koi fish helium balloon the size of me, that’s remote controlled and floats up and down through the house like a fishy in the ocean.
“Perfect! I’ll take it!”
”It needs to be filled up with helium,” the sales girl says.
“Oh, where do I do that and do I have enough time???”
“Oh yes,” she says. “Just go across the street to the grocery store. They have a helium machine.”
“But how do I keep it from flying away?” I ask.
“Oh, here’s a long purple ribbon,” she says. “Just tie the ribbon to the little hole on the bottom of the balloon after you blow it up and you’ll be fine.”
Famous. Last. Words.
So in my mirrored caftan, clutch and clogs glory I go running to the strip mall across the street. No wait, I actually drive there because in Dallas you can’t walk a block without your mascara fusing together and run the risk of total blindness while crossing a street. I go into the grocery store with the Koi fish balloon, the purple ribbon, and my clutch (already becoming a pain in the ass) and although getting a little panicked regarding the timing, am determined to complete the task. It took 2 minutes. The only glitch was the fish was waaaaaayyyy bigger than I thought it’d be. No worries, just tie the purple string on the thing and let me get out of here. OK done! I’m now exiting the grocery store feeling even more fabulous because not only do I have this fantastic outfit on, but I’m carrying a giant fish to boot!!!
So here’s the problem. The second those automatic doors swing open and I catch a gust of that surprisingly robust Texas wind the purple string rips off the fish. I am now standing in a parking lot gripping a giant orange fin in my right hand, tornado force winds gusting while my McQueen clutch dangles by a thread in my left. I am also in a complete straddle position, back facing the sun. So here is the dilemma. Do I drop the satin clutch on the concrete which will inevitably pull a thread and create a run, or do I let that freak fish fly...?
There is now a giant Koi fish orbiting earth. I’ve been watching Nightly News with Brian Williams religiously as I’m sure some satellite is going to pick it up and create some sort of controversy involving Nasa and the Chinese. And don’t worry, I had my housekeeper go back to the store and get another fish so all is good in the world. What would you have done??!
There are so many options for bags! Which one to choose, besides the ones that make your heart sing? There are a few “rules” but as you know, I love to break them. Anything worn with heart and passion always looks great. Here we go…all about bags.
Top handle bag- Polished, timeless, always appropriate. Style it with tailoring. Blazers, midi skirts, clean trousers, structured dresses. Carry it by the handle, never dangling.
Statement clutch - Proof that small can still steal the show. Whether you’re keeping the rest of your look clean with simple silhouettes and minimal jewelry, or leaning into bold color and rich textures, hold your clutch with confidence and let it lead.
Roomy tote-Style that works as hard as you do. When the bag is big, think long coats, column dressing, tailored knits.
Art piece - Your conversation starter. Build the outfit around it, not against it. Let it be the focal point .
Vintage love - Character, history, soul. Pair with modern silhouettes so it feels collected, not costume. The contrast is what makes it special.
Slouchy shoulder bag - Effortless chic for real life. Knits, wide-leg pants, oversized coats. Anchor the look with one clean element so it feels relaxed, not undone
Need some visuals? Me too. See all my inspiration here.
Ok, in my last blog, I talked about getting to enjoy early spring in Pennsylvania, however winter decided that she is taking all of her days and not giving an inch to spring (poor droopy daffodils). The birds didn’t get the memo, they are out and about, making a racket. Something about turning 50, one becomes a bird lover, warning to the young people in my life, it simply happens overnight. Thank you Cornell for my favorite bird identification app Merlin.ID and whoever created this piece of content deserves an Oscar.
The cooler temps did inspire me to bring (back) out some of my favorite down coat numbers, Marimekko never disappoints, this iconic Finnish design house knows how to do coats in exuberant patterns. I’m currently feeling inspired by my kids and how they continue to grow and expand their horizons. Ivy just had her first play reading and Eli is building an app. Honestly, I don’t really understand it but I love that he loves it.
I’m currently obsessed with watching Heated Rivalry (I know, I’m late to the game but as a Canadian, I do feel like it’s required watching), eating cottage cheese and noodles - if you know, you know (on the short list of the things I can cook, which also includes boiled eggs and tuna fish sandwiches), should I share the recipe? I’m spending way too much time reading medical forms, and completely obsessed with listening to the audio book “The Rainbow Comes and Goes”, written by Anderson Cooper and his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt.
Considering that my body is in the same state as my 1989 Toyota Corolla would be in the present day, in other words, wheels, bumpers and mirrors falling off. In my case, it’s my wrist, knees and back. This means my cart is filled with glamorous things like Salonpas, this amazing vibrating, heating back thing, wrist braces (should I ask Swarovski to make me a special one?). Check out my “Survival Guide for women Over 50.” And on the fashion side? I scored this amazing David Webb vintage ring. This baby will be making some star appearances.
From fashion SOS moments to everyday dilemmas, ask me anything right here.
XO
CARLA
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