HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

Mother’s Day is the one day a year where I get to be two things at once: a daughter who is still learning from her mother, and a mother who is still learning from her kids. Honestly, I’m not sure which role humbles me more. What I can tell you is that between the three of them, my mum, daughter, and son, my ego doesn’t stand a chance.

As I’ve shared, my mother, Charlotte, is an artist. Not in the way people say it casually. In the way where creativity isn’t something she does, it’s something she is. Growing up in her orbit meant learning, without ever being formally taught, that life is art. In my view, a painting and an outfit are not such different things. Inspiration is everywhere. It can come from a museum, a thrift store rack, or, yes, absolutely, unquestionably, Harry Styles (who she, by the way, may be in love with…but then again, who isn’t). My mum is living proof that the most magnetic people in a room are never the ones in the most expensive clothes, they’re the ones wearing something that is unmistakably them.

And then there’s being a mother. Which is its own thing entirely and nobody really prepares you for any of it, do they? They hand you this tiny person and just sort of wish you luck.

Ivy. Where do I even start? She is brilliant in a way that genuinely stops me in my tracks. An artist, a writer, wise beyond her years in a way that has nothing to do with age and everything to do with who she just fundamentally is. There are moments she says something and I go completely quiet because I need a second to process it. She did not get that from me. I’m still processing things from 2011.

And then there’s Eli. My son. The one with the biggest heart in any room he walks into. He is sensitive and intuitive in a way that honestly makes me wonder where he came from, because he can read a person in about thirty seconds flat. And alongside all of that is this completely relentless entrepreneurial brain that never, ever stops. He arrives at breakfast with a new business idea approximately four times a week. I don’t always understand all of them but I believe every single one because when Eli is in, he is in.

I am somewhere in the middle of all of these people. Shaped by Charlotte. Shaping Ivy and Eli, I hope, in ways I’ll never fully know. That feels both enormous and quite ordinary. Which I’ve learned is exactly what Motherhood is supposed to be.

Leggings get the short end of the stick and are worn far too often (sloppily) as pants in our post-Covid world. That said, leggings can absolutely be worn as pants, with some fashionable guardrails.

1. Consider the undergarments. The last thing you need is OPL (obvious panty lines).

2. Choose thicker leggings that will hold you in and stay up and also truly be opaque. The last thing you want to do is to be pulling up your (potentially see-through) leggings all day.

3. Consider where the waistline falls. Are you looking for a high waist pair so you can wear cropped sweaters or more of a natural waistline for longer tunics or asymmetrical hems (which seriously lengthen the leg btw)?

4. Consider your footwear, and whether you want a cropped or a full-length legging. A cropped legging looks adorable with a brogue or ballet flat, while a full-length legging would be more comfortable with a knee-high boot.

5. Consider the quality. High-quality leggings should not roll down at the waist. Their knees should have enough stretch in the fabric that they don’t sag after a couple of wears and the seams should be sewn with reinforcement.

Your leggings can be a workhorse in your wardrobe. Choose leggings that are built to last. You might spend a little more on quality, but they will pay off in the long run. Here are some of my favorites.

6. Some Styling options:

• Get a chic equestrian look by pairing leggings with a long-fitted blazer, a turtleneck, and a riding boot.

• Pair leggings peeking out from under a midi skirt, with ballet flats and a shrunken sweater and you’ve got a modern Audrey Hepburn look.

• Embrace the trending menswear chic (this never goes out of style actually) by pairing your leggings with a men’s brogue, an oversize shirt, and an oversized vest. Add a newsboy cap as your showstopper accessory.

• Speaking of accessories, it goes without saying from moi that these make any outfit. Load up the arm furniture, add a statement necklace or a chic elevated pair of shades to magically turn your basic leggings into instant fashion.

Give it up for these two cuties that made me a mum!

A few years back, I asked the people I love most (Charlotte, Ivy, and Eli) what’s the best advice I ever gave them. And then I turned it around and asked Charlotte what’s the best advice she ever got from her mother, my grandmother. That conversation is still feeding me.

Charlotte didn’t skip a beat: put your lipstick on and smile. And before you say anything, I know how that sounds. But my grandmother meant it with so much wisdom. She understood people and at the same time, understood that life is heavy and complicated. Sometimes the simple act of showing up, putting yourself together, and choosing to smile shifts something inside you. She wasn’t being shallow. She couldn’t be more right.

Eli said I always told him you have to truly love yourself and appreciate yourself before you can love someone else. Ivy said I told her you can’t try to make yourself fit into a box. You need to be your own person, because if you conform to what you think everyone else wants, you’ll never find who you truly are.

And me? What did Charlotte give me? The understanding that nobody can make you happy. That you have to find it in yourself first and only then can you really spread the love.

I sat with all of that for a long time. Turns out we’ve all been teaching each other the same thing, just in different words. Know yourself. Be yourself. Show up for yourself. And maybe, while you’re at it, put on a good lip.

I’m going to say what nobody is saying. She doesn’t want another candle. She doesn’t want a bathrobe, okay, that’s a lie, I basically live in mine and I regret nothing. She doesn’t want a gift card because “I didn’t know what to get you” is not a love language. Here is my go to of the best gifts for her. And remember, Mother’s Day should be everyday.

From fashion SOS moments to everyday dilemmas, ask me anything right here.

Thank you readers for all of your questions and comments! This week let’s talk balancing motherhood and work (while still loving your look).

Dear Fiona,

I remember those days, where mostly I was wearing whatever my toddler was snacking on! I live for a matching set and one in an easily wash-off-able fabric (hello scuba sweatsuits!). A matching set in a wow color or exuberant pattern (which can also hide fingerprints), transitions easily from the gallery to pre-school pick-up and playground. Lean into sporty nylons, squishy scubas and perfect pontes cut in fashion silhouettes. You can pair an elevated, and still comfortable, matching set with a kitten heel or block-heeled sandal by day and then swap out for a cute sneaker for time with the kids.

Here are some of my favorites, some of which I (proudly) designed myself for my Carla Rockmore for QVC collection.

xo

Carla