One of my team members recently asked me to talk about something that made me feel vulnerable. Now I’m a solid Gen Xer and if you’ve seen any of the memes on social media, that basically means that I chew on nails, am afraid of nothing, and certainly don’t share vulnerability. Now it’s a stereotype but my generation was filled with the original latch-key kids. We were highly unsupervised. I spent most of my childhood days outside (we truly weren’t allowed inside) and came home when the street lights came on. It’s amazing that we survived at all to be honest (wait, maybe our parents were trying to get rid of us?) Now that I think about it, we are one of the smallest generations. There was no such thing back then as a ‘helicopter parent’ and I don’t think I was ever asked about my ‘feelings’. I relish the freedom I had in my young life. No social media, no internet, a slower pace filled with exploration and way more time outdoors. I’m not sure that not ever showing weakness and not talking about feelings helped us all that much but believe me, there’s no one you want more in a bar fight or on your zombie apocalypse team than some hardy Gen Xers. Which leads me back to the question, where and when do I feel vulnerable? I have a hard time believing my followers really want to know about more than my fabulous closet and looks, but here goes.
Being a social media influencer at the age of 58 in itself is highly vulnerable. See above, I grew up without social media, without smart phones. If there are more than a dozen pictures of my early years, I would be lucky and none of them are the highly filtered perfection of the influencers selfies I see every day on the apps. I wasn’t constantly looking at pictures of myself. That said, I was raised by a highly put together mum who still will not leave the house without a perfect lip and a hat. I can admit that I was a teensy bit of a control freak, type A, perfectionist and that high-bar had to go. But it took time and it wasn’t easy. It took me three years of posting on social media, THREE YEARS, before I posted a picture without make-up. Now look at me, hundreds of thousands of you have seen me struggle to put on compression stockings. And even more intimately, I’ve opened up about my trans daughter’s journey. I’m determined to inform and encourage parents to love their children as they are, while being terrified of what ugliness (and danger) ignorance and intolerance can bring to her.
To add insult to injury, I am now sharing the real time physical struggles of aging. I can’t very well put the genie back in the bottle now and not share what’s real and what is happening! However much I tire of calling out my age on social media, I know that my followers in the same age group completely understand and appreciate the humor. For my younger followers, I feel I can impart some wisdom of what’s to come.
In my brain, I’m absolutely 20-years old but lately my body is sabotaging me. I exercise, I eat well, I do everything I should do and still the effects of age are inescapable. I feel some comfort when I see other women in the airport wearing the same carpal tunnel wristbands. But all is not lost. I often say that I wouldn’t trade my 20-year old posterior for all the wisdom, confidence, and life experience I have been fortunate enough to come by in my 58 years. You know the adage, worried about getting older? Consider the alternative. Each day truly is a gift (do I feel a tearful moment coming on….?)
Everyone wants to know my skincare routine. What can I say, I’m Canadian and they kept me in a freezer for the first 40 years of my life, and on top of that, add in my hat-obsessed mum and a serious devotion to sunscreen and voila! That said, I can’t deny I’ve had a little help. A very pleasant benefit of becoming a social media influencer is all of the amazing goodies that my favorite brands send my way. Here is my standard morning and night routine and some of the gadgets and products I swear by.
GOOD MORNING
1. Cleanse
Skip anything stripping, your skin needs its natural oils now more than ever. A creamy or hydrating cleanser is key.
2. Glow (vitamin C Serums / antioxidants)
Brightens, evens tone, and helps with collagen support. Think of this as your daily “wake-up” for your skin.
3. Moisturize
Look for ingredients like hyaluronic acid, ceramides, and peptides. This is about plumping and sealing in hydration.
4. Protect (non-negotiable)
SPF 30+ every single day. This is the best anti-aging product you will ever use, full stop.
NIGHTY NIGHT
1. Cleanse
A proper reset, get everything off. Never sleep in your make-up!
2. Treat (retinol or gentle alternative)
Still the gold standard for texture and firmness.
3. Support (if needed)
On nights your skin feels dry or reactive, layer in a hydrating or barrier serum instead of pushing actives.
4. Nourish
Go for a slightly richer, more indulgent night cream. Nighttime is when we repair.
This week, I had the pleasure of a lovely coffee date with an incredible beauty founder and left completely inspired by her story. She knew at just 13 years old that she wanted to start a beauty company and now she’s done exactly that. Proof that dreams really do come true when you put in the work. And maybe more importantly, a reminder that it’s never too late to start your life and go after what you truly want.
I know you didn’t ask for it, but I know you need it! The Over 50 Woman’s Survival Guide. All the things keeping me together including Ace bandages and compression socks (and chocolate and canned wine). You’re welcome.
I’m currently obsessed with watching The Dinosaurs, a four-part Netflix documentary narrated by Morgan Freeman (as all things should be). I continue to be tortured by the unreasonable protein requirements for women of a certain age so have started adding Ensure protein shakes to my coffee (quite delicious actually). I’m still reading too much about anything to help my aches and pains, like riveting pamphlets on cold laser therapy. And working out my rage about it all by going back to my favorite ‘90s grunge. Nirvana, anyone?
DEAR CARLA
From fashion SOS moments to everyday dilemmas, ask me anything right here.
XO
CARLA
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