My manager’s kids hardly knew them

My manager’s kids hardly knew them.

It was 2020, more than 2 years into my time at a large management consultancy firm. I was enjoying my work, surrounded by some of the most intelligent and accomplished people I knew at the time, and well on my way to the success that I was chasing after.

But this was also the time of pandemic-era lockdowns, so for the first time, I was seeing the personal lives of the people I was working with each day.

And it wasn’t pretty.

The partners who were usually striding through the office in a custom suit now seemed uncomfortable in their own homes. And their children often stood in the background of their Zoom meetings, bewildered at this strange figure on a computer that they rarely saw.

I don’t say this to judge. It was a time when everyone was adjusting. But these were the people I was modeling my career after. And I wasn’t sure I liked what I saw.

That’s when I realized:

A lot of people climb the career ladder without first checking which wall it’s leaning against.

So I started asking myself different questions:

• What kind of presence do I want to have at work, and at home?

• What kind of memories am I creating for my kids when it comes to me?

That curiosity eventually led me to leave consulting. And years later, I’ve built something that feels far closer to the version of success I actually wanted.

I just spent the last week in LA for a conference, flew back all day Thursday, and ended my Friday workday at 3 PM to make it home in time to trick or treat with Isaiah and a few friends. I may lack the prestige and perceived impact of my colleagues in more traditional roles. But now I like the wall I’m climbing up a hell of a lot more.

Here’s the truth: You don’t just choose success. You also choose what success will cost.

And as you navigate your own path, I’d remind you not to climb the ladder without double-checking to see if you’re okay with where it’s leading you.

This is First Things First. I created this newsletter as the reminder I needed to reflect on how far I’ve come, as well as prepare for the journey ahead.

This is where I’ll share with you my deeper thoughts on the topics I explore in my videos, and where I’ll share a few personal updates that aren’t always right for my main channels.

This is a special place, and I’m so glad you’re here.

Colin

If you’re a long-time subscriber (thank you!), you’re probably noticing that this looks a little different than my prior emails. I did some reflecting on the type of newsletter I wanted this to be, and the type of platform that would best suit those needs. And given where I ended up, Substack seemed like the best fit. Let me know what you think!