Ninety-Nine Adults and One Sick Captain
I got sober, then became responsible for 99 adults in a phone game. The bottle was gone, but the old captain found a new helm.
Captain of This Ship
Not motivation - MUTINY. A sobriety logbook for overthrowing the captain who keeps steering toward “relief” and calling it control, exposing the lies, breaking the loop, and building a life that doesn’t require escape.
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Ballast of the Damned
The program helped save my life. The God part still stuck in my throat. So I stopped throwing the weight at the room and put it where it belonged.
FRANKENSTEIN GOD.
I thought I had surrendered to God. Then sobriety forced me to ask whether the God holding the wheel was real, or just covered in my fingerprints.
I Needed a Villain
I had a whole system for avoiding responsibility: make a speech, build a villain, pour a drink, and call the wreckage fate.
The Rot Below Deck
The emergency passed. The worse part came after: slow rot, private permission, and the hidden damage that survives when the obvious chaos stops.
Nobody Has to Know
I sat in a gas station parking lot for twelve minutes telling myself a story that sounded calm, adult, and completely reasonable.
MUTINY.
A storm-driven allegory of alcoholism, denial, withdrawal, mutiny, and surrender - one captain’s reckoning with self-destruction, truth, and the fight to survive.
What 'Captain of This Ship' is About
Start here for the mission behind the Substack: truth, help, structure, meaning, and a refusal to keep calling captivity coping.