🇫🇷 Version francaise en audio
“My husband criticizes me all the time.”
No... I’m still not married. 😄
That’s what one participant shared during a recent group discussion.
Almost immediately, suggestions started flowing.
“Maybe you should go away together for a few days.”
“You need to plan more date nights.”
“Perhaps it’s time to separate.”
Every suggestion came from a good place.
But they all had one thing in common.
They were trying to answer the question that had been asked. None of them explored what might actually be the missing piece.
Was everyone trying to solve the symptom while missing the real problem?
I’ll come back to that story later.
That conversation reminded me of something I witness almost every week in my work.
They come with the symptom.
“I need more confidence.”
“I should probably leave my company.”
“I need to become more visible.”
“I don’t understand why this keeps happening to me.”
Very often, these aren’t the real questions.
They’re simply the visible consequences of something deeper.
I saw this again during a recent Next Chapter Boardroom.
One participant came looking for help after an organisational restructuring had left her working in a very different environment than the one she had enjoyed before. She thought her biggest challenge was learning how to navigate this new professional relationship.
As we explored the situation together, she realised that the colleague was not the real issue.
The missing piece was that today’s disappointment was distracting her from building the career she was actually dreaming of.
A few days later, she sent me a message I’ll probably never forget:
“You’re not just answering my question... you’re helping me see the question I should have been asking.”
Amen !
One of my favourite examples comes from a conversation between Martha and Jesus.
If you’ve never read the story, here’s the context.
Jesus is visiting two sisters: Martha and Mary.
Martha is doing what many responsible eldest daughters naturally do. She’s preparing the meal, serving the guests and making sure everything is taken care of.
Meanwhile, Mary is simply sitting with Jesus, listening.
Eventually, Martha has had enough.
She turns to Jesus and says:
“Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me.”
She expected Jesus to correct Mary.
Instead, He widened the conversation.
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things...”
Jesus wasn’t ignoring Martha’s frustration.
He was inviting her to ask a bigger and better question.
Not:
“Why isn’t Mary helping me?”
But perhaps:
“What do you need the most from me in this moment?”
Neuroscience tells us something similar.
When we’re under stress, our brain naturally narrows its focus.
Our attention locks onto the immediate discomfort, making it harder to challenge our assumptions or imagine different possibilities.
External perspective helps us step outside that emotional tunnel vision and notice what has become invisible from the inside.
Sometimes the missing piece has been there all along.
We simply couldn’t see it.
Honestly, as a single woman, I know better than to hand out unsolicited marriage advice in public. 😄
Maybe the real issue was criticism.
Or maybe criticism was simply the visible symptom of something deeper, like
An unmet emotional need.
A conversation that never truly happened.
A wound that had never been acknowledged.
Who knows?
What I do know is this:
Whether we’re talking about a marriage, a difficult colleague, a family conflict or a career crossroads, curiosity almost always takes us further than certainty.
Better questions tend to lead to better conversations.
And better conversations often lead to better decisions.
The quality of your next chapter often depends on the quality of the questions you ask today.
It’s less about finding an answer that reassures our fears and more about being curious enough to look for the missing piece.
That’s exactly why I created Next Chapter Boardroom.
People come with an issue.
Together, we uncover the missing piece.
Then we build a strategy that lays the foundation for their next chapter.
If you’re navigating a career transition, a leadership challenge, a difficult decision or simply feeling stuck, I’d love to welcome you to one of our next sessions.
Registration is now open, and as always, I intentionally keep the group small to create enough space for honest conversations, strategic thinking and meaningful breakthroughs.
🗓 Saturday, July 25, 2026
🕑 15:00–16:30 CET
📍 Online via Zoom
👥 Small group (max. 8 particiapants)
💸 Investment: 127 EUR
July 25. In English and French. Maximum 8 participants. Confidential.
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I’d love to see you there.
Until next time,
Candace Nkoth Bisseck
Storyteller • Award-winning Leadership Coach • Career Strategist
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