Ripples: The Full Story (follow-up from First Few Chapters)

Present Day

I've read a lot of blogs, seen a lot of TV programmes about people like me and they often say 'I didn't fit in' and I just think....'The world didn't fit YOU in.'
The world for too long has had this narrow view of what normal is, what success is, what communication is and I am sick of it.
Speaking of sickness, I think Janice is sick.
I don't know how really but people have said she's got dementia.
I used to go for evening walks, before my job, and there were a few times when I passed her place and saw her in the front garden peering into the darkness.
Oftentimes she would be incessantly calling, shouting, for Greg.
I didn't and still don't know who Greg is but I hope he answers her soon because it's already been 5 years.

Now, the longest she gets to call for Greg is about 10 minutes before Hailey brings her back inside, likely to calm her.
Does Hailey know something about Greg?
Does she know where he is?
I'd ask her one day.

I have spent nights (or early mornings) just wishing Greg would appear but no sir! I'm pretty sure that people have left my neighbourhood because of Janice's behaviour and I think that many of the current crop of tenants are getting pissed off at Janice even now but I think the real culprit is Greg.
Where and who is Greg? Why doesn't he visit Janice? Wherever he is, he must be a horrible man because Janice has been good with me over the years.
Well, until the dementia, of course.
Until she became obsessed with Greg.

Chapter 1

Good morning world!
My 5am alarm wakes me and my day begins with a shower.
The warm flow trickles over my body, enlivens my mind and empowers my spirit. Only to a degree though. You see, I needed to do my ritual.
I have this mirror I look into every day not because of any body image issues but because I have to make some decisions.
Who does the world want to see?
What mask do I put on today?
Which fragmented face of identity do I present?

I think about those questions for a few moments, capture the images and in my mind, I decide to rebel.
I stick 2 middle fingers up at the mirror
.I am not who the world wants to see. I am me .I get through my ritual and focus on my mission for today. After a short walk, I knock twice on Janice's door.

Wavy black hair, eyes the hue of roasted walnuts, dressed in a light blue carer's uniform as always, Hailey looked a suitable mixture of formality and friendliness. Exactly what you want, I imagine. I know that Janice gets on well with her after only 2 years and I think I would want someone like Hailey to look after me, should I ever need help.
"Hello Lucas! Good to see you, hey...once you've met one autistic person..."
"You've met one autistic person...Hi Hailey" I reply with a grin on my face as we share our in-joke."Is Janice up for a chat today?" I ask."Certainly. Come in. I'll fix you up with a coffee?"Yes please, thank you."I choose to sit on Janice's white aniline leather sofa in her spacious living room, familiarising myself with the environment and all its sights and sounds when Hailey hands me my freshly brewed coffee. Janice follows her in from the kitchen and sits on the old wooden chair opposite me.
"I'll leave you to get settled as I need to finish some paperwork. Janice, let me know if you need anything."
"I will do, Lizzy. Thank you." Janice confusingly responds. She seems to swiftly move on so I take her lead.
"So then duck, what you been up to?" Janice directs at me. "Fabulous, thank you Janice. How's the garden?"
"Oh, you know. Bits and bobs need doing but Lizzy does a wonderful job looking after the patchy mess. Garden's alright too...That's a thought, she should be at college by now. LIZZY!" Janice shouted at Hailey. I contemplate correcting her obviously mistaken identity but such conviction warranted me to keep a straight face.

"So you're okay then? Behaving yourself?"
"Oh yes, my weed-smoking burlesque days are far behind me. Lizzy, are you ready for college?"
"Yes Janice, I'll be right there, just getting my bag."
Ignoring her now, I look towards the kitchen and see Hailey propped up against the counter with a blue book bag, drinking from what we called the Pug Mug .A mug in the shape of a pug for any wonderers. My gaze shifts to a drawer full of cat ornaments gathering dust. The exterior of the drawer looked pretty good despite housing such musty memories. Either Hailey or Janice had dusted the glass screen and given it a superficially new shine. It's a shame that this Lizzy was getting all the credit.
After I find Greg, I'll find her.

Hailey appeared and said to me that I should call her if I need her but she would be back at 12pm for the afternoon check. Following this, she said to Janice that she would get off to college now and Janice acknowledged this as if it were true and that Hailey wasn't her carer but like before I just let it go.
I'm used to masking reality. Apparently, so is Janice.

Chapter 2

Janice and I are left alone to talk and yet I wonder where she really is, you know, in her mind. I wish they had psychedelic drugs you could take that would enable you to travel to different worlds, Avatar-esque, and you could travel into people's minds because then I would understand Janice more.

Janice had fallen asleep in her chair as soon as Hailey or Lizzy or whoever left for 'college.' I know that adults can still study but did Janice really believe that Hailey was...someone other than Hailey? Maybe Hailey wasn't who I thought she was, maybe Janice was right, maybe I was having problems with my mind. It was scary to think about and I decided that I would go to the toilet (of course it was downstairs to accommodate Janice's deteriorating frame.) Ageing seems to be much like the antiques cat cabinet. You can shine up the exterior real nice but you're getting older regardless and sooner or later you have to stop the superficial cleaning and confront what's inside. I get ready to do my business in the bathroom and weirdly it strikes me that the toilet seat is blue. I laugh to myself now because blue is not just a meaningless colour to me; It has certain negative connotations. 'Cure' ideologies that are not aligned to how I view myself. Would HE want me cured? I considered whether I had to accept those connotations. In an act of defiance, I pissed like there's no tomorrow, letting loose as if my feelings of contempt are passing through and out of my body. I come out of the bathroom, I feel and hear a slight breeze, soon realising that the front door is open.

"Greg! Where are you, Greg? Greg!"

Chapter 3

Janice's callings prompt me into instinctive action.

"Janice, do you want to join me inside for a coffee?" I inquire as I gently touch her firm shoulder and with her back to me, probably peering into that familiar darkness despite it being around 6:40am, she replies "Oh, Lucas, you startled me there. Yes, a coffee would go down well. Have you been here long?"

"About half an hour since Hailey left so not too long. I'm working tonight but I have the whole day free so tell me when you want me to leave..." I joke.
"Who? Do you mean Lizzy? I think you're getting confused Lucas...."As she turns to face me, her entire demeanour transforms.
"Bloody hell, Greg, now you show your face?”
Janice explodes.
"Excuse me?" I say, shocked at the sudden turn.
"Did you break in? Thought you'd come when it suited YOU?"
"But I'm not...No, Hailey, no, Lizzy let me in...""Who in the blue hell is HAILEY? Your new fling, I suspect.""She looks after you, do you remember?""What, no that's not right. Is Lizzy back from college yet? Lizzy!""No, Lizzy is still at college, isn't she? Now, come in for a coffee, Janice, you are letting the cold in.""You let the cold into my heart, you selfish man, you left me!"

Chapter 4

"I have always been here for you, what are you talking about?"
"LIAR" she bitterly insists.
"I am here now."
"Too little, too late."
"Come in for a coffee and we can talk."
"Fine, have it your way. Again."
Janice mercifully relents on her position halfway between the interior of her home and the outside world and joins me inside but she is nonetheless lost.

I thought that she'd returned to the land of the sane but the words continued to gush out of her brain and body like a tsunami rupturing a prison's walls, her internal inmates escaping from the structure with ravenous desires for freedom. Whatever I said, she had an answer for it. Not that the answers made any sense whatsoever to me.

I regained a sense of calm as I repeatedly told her I wasn't Greg and Hailey wasn't Lizzy but she was having none of it. A few moments passed without me saying anything. "Cat got your tongue, Greg? Or pussy on your lips?"

Maybe this was the real Janice and she was tired of masking her reality? No, this wasn't Janice as I knew her years ago. She was just having a moment. She had some tension inside her that she had to let out and flow. We all had those moments.

With friends, families, relationships. With real people...Some publicly. Some in private. Well, there was no privacy in this moment, she was free.

Or was she? She claimed that I left her but I think it was her common sense that was absent. And there was certainly no sign of Greg.

Chapter 5

Janice seats herself on the old wooden chair opposite the white leather sofa, as were our traditional positions, and I come out of the kitchen with hot coffees in hand.

"Janice, here's your coffee."
She is looking at the cat cabinet and I wonder what her view is.
Does she see a shiny exterior with dusty contents inside like me?
Or maybe a fragile exterior with antique memories?
Maybe she just likes cats. Does she see herself?
"Lucas, how's work going?"
"You DO know my name then...?""Well of course dear, we've known each other quite a while."
"Even during your, and I quote 'Weed-smoking burlesque days?'"
"You sod, how do you know about that? Long time ago, I'll have you know. Far behind me. Just like my teaching days."
"Now THAT is something I know about," I agree without telling her that she was my informant on her past adventures. She didn't seem to care either way. What a rebel.

"Yes, you were an inquisitive chap. Still are, I reckon" Janice surmises before sipping her coffee and placing it beside her on a Pug-inspired coaster at a table piled with at least 2 crossword puzzle books and today's newspaper which would include more puzzles. I think about the puzzle before me.

The mysterious Greg and Lizzy. Maybe they were Janice's equivalent to Bonnie and Clyde? Robbing her of independence and killing her mental health.
Maybe the dementia was her Great Depression for an event she hasn't dealt with?
I downed my lukewarm coffee with ease and decided to cure what ailed me, sate my lust for language and flipped open a page of the crossword book. And another page. And another.

Janice fell asleep. Again. Before either of us knew it, time had slipped away and I heard a knock at the door. Janice rushed up excitedly. "Ooh, that will be Lizzy back from college!" She didn't seem disappointed when Hailey materialised.

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