Navigating Life Transitions Using My Own Value Compass

A Note from Caitlin: Today’s guest post is by Katerina Schmitt who is a mother of three documenting her PhD journey in real-time on Substack, with bit of scholarship, caffeinated humour and sarcasm, because adding teaching, motherhood and perimenopause hormones to the mix = insanity. Check out her Substack here: Learning Hive Studio (there’ll be a link at the end of the article too!)

In that first moment we take our breath, from birth, we begin to collect values much like we collect habits, stamps, and slightly questionable life advice from our experiences of an environment filled with society influences, culture and upbringing experiences, in my case these were passed down from generation to generation. My ancestors, family, friends, and early experiences influenced my beliefs throughout my lifetime. These were my lessons in love, honesty, kindness, responsibility, respect for self and others.

In these lessons we are taught about how to show reciprocity (on not) as a social rule to show our appreciation for someone else’s act of kindness. The exchange is simple, with another act of kindness and appreciation. In my family, this usually came in a form of a cake or chocolate.

Each family and groups of community determine their own rules about this which forms their basis for their values; these values are developed on shared belief and benefit in small acts of kindness towards one another. Our emotional radar is geared towards likeminded people who show reciprocity in meaningful ways that align with our values. This feel like an important human quality.

This deep-rooted belief comes from my childhood experiences and creates the foundation for my values. My early experiences were built on the Soviet Union principles of communism, a system that aimed to create classless society where wealth and resources were shared. Under this political landscape power and control belonged to the governments who controlled the economy, industries, and much of daily life, it exercised significant power over families and individuals.

Ultimately limiting individual freedom and inflicting systemic abuse and trauma on citizens.

When my childhood experiences are based on ‘limiting individual freedom and systemic abuse and trauma’, then my own responses to life almost instinctively have been ‘how do I break down these barriers that restrict my freedom’. This is the foundation of my value compass and how it was developed. These values led me to a career in social work that I have spent 17 years building. That in itself is guided by principles and values which continue to align with my own.

This value compass has initially led me to work within traumatised systems that formed institutions who cared for the most oppressed people in our society with great hope and optimism. Overtime my overly naive positive view slowly disappeared and was brutally crushed by the reality that existed for many families and individuals as well as workers working within these institutions, the issue is systemic.

The inequality and currency individuals use in a changing hierarchy landscape became a double edge sword fight between the ‘role models’ and my ‘moral jury’. I continued to collect evidence that contradicted the fundamental social work values that my profession was so desperately trying to uphold.

Collecting this evidence added to my ever-growing disenfranchised grief where my personal and cultural losses were minimised, ignored, socially not recognised. When all types of communities and institutions fail to acknowledge individual journeys, differences, needs and losses that don’t have a body in a casket as proof, it adds to feelings of exclusion, isolation and impacts trust within institutions.

As my collection of evidence grew stronger, filing up my suitcase in preparation for my departure flight, over the 17 years. Is this the right time to leave? I finally decided to leave not a job, a workplace but my whole career in the practice field I have been building. It was my decision that wasn’t imposed by anyone or any structural circumstances. It was a choice that took me years to make supported by my full suitcase of evidence.

This very moment steered me to my mission and became more personal and underpinned by dignity (not ego), self-determination (not stubbornness) to make a difference in the development of the profession, to improve systems which carry the systemic trauma within institutions. At midlife we naturally find ourselves searching for more meaningful work and alignment, that is where I am at and still working out the details, one step at a time.

I found that there are two fundamental values I hold when it comes to life and work alignment; these are in the reciprocal relationships rather than transactions; and collaborative projects where everyone benefits in some small way.

How this translates into an online space, well, I am still figuring this part out. This is new territory for me personally, so, I am going back to basics and reaching out to other writers to have a conversation and build a stronger relationship, this feels meaningful to me.

I know I value connection, building relationships, knowing the person behind the publication, collaborations, video discussions and zoom calls. Perhaps a little ‘old school’, well I am in midlife so that would be accurate.

Fundamentally, relationships build trust overtime, and it is a very human thing to do. I also believe that there shouldn’t be any financial structures around relationships and communities, that is where all the lovely magic happens, networks are strengthened and beautiful collaborative projects are born among villagers.

Final thoughts, value alignment for me is grounded in these words and free from hierarchy social structures, these are extracted from ‘All about love’ by bell hooks;

“Within a loving community we sustain ties by being compassionate and forgiving… We all long for loving communities. It enhances life joy’s…. Enjoying the benefits of living and loving in community empowers us to meet strangers without fear and extend to them the gift of openness and recognition…”

Thanks to Katerina for being a guest writer on Dose of Wonder! You can check out her Substack through the link below (if it appears for you depending on what you are viewing this on), or here: Learning Hive Studio

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