Testing by Fire (Literally)

There was a grease fire in my kitchen recently.

Don’t worry, the house is fine, the kids are fine, the cat is fine. I may be less fine, though physically unharmed. I had to throw out a pan and replace the over-the-range microwave, whose control panel basically melted, so all in all, it’s okay.

Now I had to work through a lot of self-flagellation to reach the healthy point of recognizing that I did a lot of things right. As the granddaughter of a fireman, I have had years of conversations about fire safety, knowledge stored in the subconscious parts of my brain at this point.

Firstly, I change the batteries in my smoke detectors annually. I have a reminder set in my phone to do it, and when we moved into the new house this summer, I checked them all.

Secondly, I know that a lid on the pan is the best way to put out a grease fire, not water, which is precisely what I did without thinking about it.

Thirdly, all the children had been instructed on fire escape routes, and though I could hear some panicked shrieking as I found a lid and put out the fire, they went outside without any extra instructions from me. They also offered to hand me a fire extinguisher, which I appreciate. They helped open windows and turn on fans to clear the smoke, and provided scarves as quickly improvised face masks.

Finally, after the smoke had settled (literally), I was able to talk it out with a therapist and process my emotions on the whole thing.

Look, 2025 has been hard for so many, myself included. The world feels like a never-ending stream of grease fires demanding attention, leaving smoke residue and melting certain things beyond usefulness. There is a weariness from the ongoing anxiety that accompanies the desire to stay informed. “Breaking News” another mass shooting, school shooting, another branch of government collapses, another war, etc. ICE terrorizes a new city, the National Guard is used against American citizens, floods and fires, dismantled departments, and demolished buildings. And this is when I need to draw on other knowledge.

Firstly, I am not alone. There are so many people doing things in their neighborhoods with their skills. The work of caring does not need to be shouldered by me alone.

Secondly, history and stories will confirm that darkness will not win in the end. There will be small victories, there will be losses along the way, but this is not forever. We just don’t know when it will change.

Thirdly, thoughts and prayers are what move us towards action. Praying does not stop harm, horror, sickness, or anything else. But by praying, I am more attuned to the actions that I can take. If I refuse to think about it and bury my head in the sand, then I will always be taken unawares and likely handle hardship poorly.

Finally, there will be times I am the helper and times I need help. Over the past few years, I would say I have been in and out of survival mode. The right community will care for each other in turn when the needs arise.

The season of Christmas is upon us, and sometimes the external trappings can seem trite, but attempts at joy are never in vain. We all need to keep having conversations about what peace on earth means in practical ways. We need to wonder about holy days and holidays, and how different people experience them. Playing games and sharing laughter is joy as resistance against despair. So put out the grease fires, clean up the mess, and keep pressing forward in hope that all manner of thing shall be well.

Sometimes a simple song says all that needs to be said.

In the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, I do not doubt that there will be movies watched, stories read, and many snippets consumed. However, in an effort to maintain the sanity of mother and children alike, we plan to keep mornings screen-free for sleep and general engagement as a family. Crossing my fingers, hoping for the best, and giving myself full grace for whatever comes.

May your sugar highs be tempered by respite, may all salty foods be moderated by kindness, may bitterness be brightened by mellow moments.

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May this week bring peace to your senses and your soul.