To love well

The prologue of Paulo Coelho's novel "The Alchemist" goes as follows:

"The alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had brought. Leafing through the pages, he found a story about Narcissus.

The alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

But this was not how Oscar Wilde, the author of the book, ended the story.

He said that when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

“Why do you weep?” the goddesses asked.

“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.

“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.”

“But…was Narcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.

“Who better than you to know that?” the goddesses said in wonder. “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!”

The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:

“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. “I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

“What a lovely story,” the alchemist thought."

. . . .

Once upon a time, on my birthday, someone asked me what was my birthday wish. I thought for a moment, and said:

"My wish is to love well."

Other people in the group raised their questions:

"What do you mean?", "Love well is to love selectively, or love a lot?," "Define it for me!," "To make it work, it has to be from both sides I guess?"

“To love well is when the people you love feel loved, heard, understood. In time, your love helps them grow stronger, happier and more confident.”

The story of Narcissus and the lake depicts the state of being well loved. When you love well, your beloved sees their own beauty reflected back to them in your eyes. In this story, both Narcissus and the lake saw their own beauty reflected back to them when they gazed into each other's eyes.

. . . .

To love well is an art, a life skill, a superpower that improves with training and practice. For starters, practice speaking the five love languages is a great start. If you are not familiar with Gary Chapman's "The five love languages," discover it here:

And if you are currently in high school or university then you would make a immense investment in your future by joining a training program offered by “One Love,” a non-profit organization with a mission to educate young people about healthy and unhealthy love. In the TED talk below, One Love’s CEO Katie Hood described the concepts and the benefits of her educational program:

Knowing the difference between healthy and unhealthy love is an invaluable investment to the happiness and success in your life, and in the lives of people you love. More often than not, all of us could at times be unintended victims or persecutors of unhealthy love. In the most tragic scenarios, it could result in a life or death outcome as in the story behind “One Love” below:

Do not love others the ways you want them to love you.
Love others in the ways they wish to be loved!!!