She Is the Wake-Up Call

Quotes of the Month:

“Go to the truth. What's the truth? What's true?” ~ Suhailah

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” ~ Rumi

“She is not trying to be free. She is free.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it.” ~ Brené Brown

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

“The truth is so simple, it makes every decision…feel like it was just sharpened to its finest point.” ~ Suhailah

My monthly newsletters this year are focused on the rise of the Divine Feminine, which followed the overall theme of last year’s newsletters of Rebuilding.

If you are a woman in a woman’s body, I don’t know if you can feel it in the very bowels of your being, but I can.

It and I started off slow and sleepy at the beginning of the year almost like it, like I, like somewhere within me was in a resting state. Like resting bitch face, without the bitch part.

Like don’t bother me right now even though it’s the start of a new year and I’m supposed to be in Go mode. I wasn’t. No, she was calm, she was cool. She was collected, or gathered, or surrendered…to rest. That part of me. Which was the whole of me. Or at least, she took over.

I didn’t even write my first monthly newsletter of the year until February because of this feeling of rest. Stillness. Almost like the year was not or could not truly begin until Spring. The beginning of this year, for me, felt very quiet inside of me. Quiet. Silence. The kind of silence that has a sound and that I have learned to listen to.

And now here in May, slowly but surely I feel a rising inside of me that I want to say feels like fire, but it doesn't burn. It feels like heat, a sensation, a rising…of what, I don't know exactly. A part of me almost wants to say rage, but it's not at all like that. It's not anger. Or upset. Or discord. It feels like something is stirring. Like something is about to be…just about to be ready to, gearing up to be, released. Not something bad. Nothing ominous. No, not at all. Something else entirely.

For me, I feel it in my solar plexus area right under my breasts, but it seems to be emanating upward like a flame moves up. Except, again, this does not burn. It does not hurt. I can’t even say it feels warm, but it has a heat to it. Some sort of buzz for lack of a better word. The only thing I can think of is that it feels like Power and I don’t know exactly what that means in an inner-awareness sense of the word or why this is the word that comes to me.

Last month, I wrote about one of my favorite women, real or imagined, Storm from The X Men. This month I almost started to write about Nefertiti. I wanted to write about her for this month of May, but as I type this Kali comes to mind so I want to stay with that. With her.

As I do so, something I’ve noticed myself feeling and saying and thinking to myself lately is truth. And it’s weird because I do consider myself an honest person, to the degree that humans can be 100% honest with themselves and with others which does take a capacity that is not taught, but eventually must be learnt or we will find ourselves suffering. Often needlessly. Senselessly, when looking back in the rear view mirror.

I am straightforward, for sure. Straight, no chaser and you know this if you are someone who has dealt or interacted with me directly. Being truthful, being honest, and saying the hard thing is not hard for me. I always say people who are nice can play nice, but people who are genuinely kind starting with the inside can say the hard thing. Some people lately use the term “radical honesty” but I don’t need a new term to know what this is.

But this kind of truth that I have felt lately feels different. It's not about being direct. It seems to be about being clear because as soon as that switch goes on, that inner voice that I hear almost like it's a flashing sign like the yellow flashing light sandwiched between the green and red one when waiting to cross the street on nearly every corner in America, like a flashing light or voice inside of me in case I forget…or forgot, again — I usually hear it or sense this voice in the midst of what could or would otherwise be a moment or situation of overwhelm. Usually when I am running over and over in my mind something I have to deal with head on, confront, manage, work my way through.

Usually something I’m contemplating heavily and this is probably because, if you’ve listened to my latest podcast episode…

…I have been going through major transitions (plural) in my life with many, many, many countless moments and decisions to get clear about and to think about. At this moment in time I could literally probably think myself to death if that were a thing.

Recently, though, in these moments, that flashing light comes on and something happens. Instead of overthinking every which way, I find or hear something inside of me that says just say the truth. Just stick with the truth. Just do the truest thing based on where you are right here, right now. And just like that, like a knife cutting through dense fog…or a plane doing the same…I feel as right as rain.

It’s astonishing how this has made life, my literal day-to-day life feel so simple and so clean. Even in the situations that could have buried me otherwise.

The truth is so simple, it makes every decision, every relationship, every conversation, every business meeting or decision, every creative decision, every life decision, every interaction, every thought, every feeling feel like it was just sharpened to its finest point. Refined. Distilled. It takes no second thought or thinking. Or more thinking. You don’t have to practice your words or rehearse what you are going to say to someone or what you are going to do or be…it’s simply true. The truth. And I have found that situations that would have normally or previously taken hours, weeks or days to unravel, or to untangle and disengage from, they are resolved in an instant. Even if not on the outside, at least on the inside within me. And where else can anyone start from, really? What better place to start or proceed with anything?

Go to the truth. What’s the truth? What’s true? These are the words or thoughts I find coming to me in these moments where there is just way too much to think of and consider and then just like that a path seems to be made. Clear. Like a shiny blade cutting through tall grass, a moment is made clear.

For me, someone who relies deeply on my intuition and follows it like a brand new baby whose eyes search, find, and land on the familiar tone of her own mother holding her as if she were meeting this lady, her mother, for the very first time — as someone who treats and follows my intuition not much different than this, this feeling of truth or just ‘go to the truth’ does not seem like it’s coming from that same place. This is not intuition that I’m speaking of.

In my April newsletter issue I wrote:

I went on to say…

So I now realize Kali — this Goddess, this energy — was already here and present waiting to be spoken about. She obviously wanted to be up next. (“Hey Kali, I got you Queen!”)

So who is Kali?

Seen and worshipped by devotees for millennia as the Divine Mother, Kali’s name comes from Kāla meaning time (or black). As far as archetypes and the goddesses of all the goddesses go, Kali is The Mother of The Universe. And it’s funny because I was planning to write and post this newsletter last Sunday on Mother’s Day and was going to tip my hat, bow, and curtsey to The Mother Earth, Mother Africa, The Cosmic Mother, The Divine Mother (not at all thinking of Kali when I first thought this), as well as my own Mother, and the energy of Mother, so this is also no coincidence that when I just looked her up again and called on her energy the first thing I came across said The Mother of the Universe.

I always and immediately associate Kali with fire. Even if not with actual fire and that symbolism, Kali comes with the fire. Destruction, even. But the necessary kind. The necessary kind like in how, if we are paying better attention, closer attention, one can look out onto the current day world and clearly see systems and places built on lower and denser energies and frequencies (and the people who carry them), and with old ways of thinking and being and doing now beginning to fall. Being dismantled. Full out collapsing right in front of our very eyes and within ear shot. Being destroyed…and sometimes it even looks like they are doing it to themselves. Burning their own selves down to the ground from the inside out. Or, the outside in.

It’s the kind of necessary destruction and unveiling of lies and untruths where we will all be better for it in the end. The kind that the world and the collective and individuals alike are going through real time, right now. In public and in private. You might be one of them. Your internal and external world seemingly collapsing all at once. If so, if this is you, I deeply understand and I hold you in the light and truth of God the Creator. In this way, nothing is really ever going “wrong.” It’s more about “what is this trying to show me?”

But Kali, the energy of Kali…I associate with this kind of power. The kind of inner fire and power that burns away ego and illusion because her destruction is always purposeful and liberating, it is never malevolent. It is the kind of destruction in a fiery way that just comes to burn it all down even if we think we don’t want it to be destroyed or were not prepared for it to be destroyed. Whatever “it” may be in our individual and collective lives. Sometimes, sometimes, it simply needs to be. And this too is divine and the Divine Feminine specifically, at play. At work. She is doing her job.

In this book I have next to me that I just grabbed and that I didn’t remember I had until I sat down and began to write about Kali just now (it must have been something I bought during the pandemic lockdown when I had more endless reading time on my hands) it says:

“Kali embodies the ultimate wake-up call. To get us aligned with what we came here to do. This Hindu goddess is the most fierce form of the dark, divine feminine. Her name comes from the Sanskrit word meaning the fullness of time.” ~ Meggan Watterson

This might be why I have been feeling what I describe at the beginning of this newsletter as emanating from my solar plexus area — my upper stomach and torso below my breasts — as not a fire that burns, or hurts. Perhaps it is what they mean by that feeling of having “fire in your belly.” Like you have to or are about to do something. Perhaps it’s the kind of energy or destruction that simply reveals. That that particular energy of the Divine Feminine that is the energy of Kali, is working its way through me (not in a spooky, ghost or spirit way dear reader) to reveal something. To reveal truth. To reveal Me. To reveal you.

Because the last part of what I just read has this affirmation:

“I release all that does not serve me. It’s time to be the truth of who I am.” *

How fitting.

“Kali is the bright fire of truth, which cannot be hidden by the clothes of ignorance. Such truth simply burns them away.” (Traditional Tantric description of Kali)

Let’s go. ❤️‍🔥

~ Suhailah 💫

Before you go…please tap the heart below. It helps others find this work. Thank you.

*Quote & Affirmation Credit: The Divine Feminine Oracle (Card Deck & Guidebook) by Meggan Watterson

P.S.

I recently opened a new section of my Substack called the Awakening Journal & Writings. I have been writing my dreams down for the past 13 years and counting. Nearly 10,000 typed pages. My dreams are prophetic. They come true. My closest people have always known…because some have been about them. My dream archive is becoming my next book and I am now sharing select entries and writings here on Substack for the first time.

As a Spark free subscriber you may occasionally receive free post (emails) from a sender called Dream Walker | Suhailah under the same email address you get this one from. That is me, just from the dream side of this publication. Same Spark publication, different section. If it resonates, you are welcome to explore and subscribe. If it doesn’t call to you right now, you can simply let those emails pass. No obligation either way.

There are a few entries there already. You can find one here (Click Thumbnail Below):

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