At the Table with Cristina Calvert

“At the Table” is a series of interviews and spotlight conversations with people I admire from within and outside of the wedding industry. These conversations focus on topics related to building an intentional, relationship-first business alongside a present, connected, values-driven personal life.

As two wedding professionals working in the Washington DC area, Cristina and I knew of each other for years, but we didn’t meet until after I moved away. I was back in DC for a wedding and reached out to her about connecting. We decided to get dinner, and immediately bonded. She has since become a dear friend, and someone I look up to in the greater wedding industry! I’m so happy to get to share her wisdom with you today!

Follow Cristina via her website and IG.

→ First of all, tell me in your own words what you do for work, and why you do it?

I am a wedding planner and designer, and have been in this industry for over 20 years. I absolutely love it. It’s not an easy job, but I found my passion in this work, and that’s what keeps me going every day. I’m constantly inspired by the creative people we get to work with. It’s exciting, it’s always new, and it’s just fun.

→ What does a typical day look like for you?

It changes. I’m a mom of two young children, so my mornings are typically spent with them. After that, I have my own little nook I’ve carved out in my office where I start my workday.

Recently, I’ve started watching YouTube videos from different florists around the world. It’s a simple thing, but it’s a beautiful way to see creativity in action. anda great way to start my morning. Whether it’s arrangements from someone’s garden or something completely unexpected, it helps put me in a creative mindset for the day ahead.

From there, I move into my workday. I typically have two or three phone or video calls during the day, along with all the normal day-to-day tasks. What I love most about this work is that no two days are the same. The clients are different, the vendors are different, and the details are always changing. It keeps me engaged and excited about what I’m doing.

And there’s also flexibility in it! If I need a change of scenery, I can step away and go into downtown DC, sit in a beautiful lobby somewhere, or work under the some beautiful trees when it’s quiet. It’s nice to find inspiration in all kinds of places while also not doing the same thing day to day.

→ In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says that every person has just two core values that shape everything else that they do or believe. Do you agree with that idea? If you could boil your values down to just two, what would they be? How do those influence how you do your work & live your life?

I think it’s hard to narrow it down to just two, but if I had to, I would say authenticity is number one—being true to myself, my work, my clients and their families, and also my own family. This is my full-time job, so I want to be mindful of what I’m giving to my clients, while also being present for my family.

The second would be intentionality—doing this work with heart with meaning behind everything I do in every aspect of my life.

→ The British author Alain de Botton has this famous quote: “There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.” I tend to agree with this idea, that work-life balance is an unhelpful goal, and we should instead think about aligned values and healthy rhythms in all spheres of life. What do you think about the phrase “work-life balance?” How do keep healthy rhythms & momentum going in both work and personal spheres?

I have strived for work-life balance throughout my entire career. Even before I was married and had children, I made a point to find balance work with life. The reality is, I have not fully achieved that.

In this industry, things ebb and flow. There are seasons where I have to be fully focused on work because my couples require it, and other times where my family needs me more and my attention shifts there. I’ve learned that it can’t be an equal balance every day. Instead, there’s an understanding that when I’m giving more to work, there will be time later for my family, and vice versa. In anything meaningful, there is always some level of sacrifice.

Over the past five years, in particular, I have placed a higher emphasis on this. Is it worth stressing over the small things? No. But is it also worth working hard, pushing yourself, and pursuing meaningful goals even if they feel a little lofty? Yes.

That’s where I’ve landed. Work-life balance, in a perfect sense, doesn’t really exist for me. But I’ve also been on the other side of life where you’re forced to really look at what matters most. At the end of the day, it is family and the people you love. And it’s also the work that brings you joy. My work genuinely does bring me a lot of happiness, and that’s why I continue doing it.

→ Some people argue that a focus on people and a focus on profit are competing priorities, but I love talking about the ways that running a relationship-first business aids in building more profitable, sustainable businesses. What do you think about this idea? Are they competing ideas? Why or why not?

I think it actually aids profit. Everything I do goes back to being intentional and authentic, and I think like attracts like. The clients I tend to attract are often through referrals, sometimes from weddings they’ve attended or experienced firsthand.

→ What are some ways that running a people-first business has benefited you? How has it benefited others?

When I’m authentic and true to myself, and put my clients first, it naturally results in referrals. Doing what I know works best for me and staying aligned with my values has made a real difference in the growth of my business.

There are families I’ve worked with repeatedly over the years, not just for one event but across multiple children and milestones. One family I’ve worked with for nearly 10 years has referred more business than any other family in my career.

So yes, there is a direct connection. When you create a meaningful, positive experience, it builds trust and loyalty, and that absolutely translates into sustainability and profit over time.

→ Our culture and our industry is fast—trends come and go in the blink of an eye, and there’s just so much noise, especially on social media. It can be tempting to believe that the only way to stand out is to add to the noise, to follow trends, to make a bigger flash than our competitors. But what if you’re a quiet brand? I have written about the difference between Fireworks and Fireplace brands here. Would you say that your business is more of a fireworks display or a fireplace? How does that influence how you market?

I’m definitely a fireplace brand. And not just in theory—I actually welcome my couples, their families, and vendors into my home for meetings. There have even been times when I knew a couple really loved a certain recipe, so I made it for them and we had a meeting over dinner. I want to create that warm, welcoming experience, truly inviting people into my home, my office, and ultimately into their wedding experience as well. That’s very much my style.

In terms of marketing, I stick to my lane and focus on what I know I’m good at. I hope I’m attracting the right couples by being intentional about what I put out there, instead of trying to keep up with all the noise.

There’s a time and place for everyone, and everyone will find the right planner, photographer, or vendor for them. There’s no reason for me to market myself in a way that doesn’t feel authentic, because I wouldn’t be the right fit for that client anyway.

→ How do you stay authentic when it often feels that “fake it ‘til you make it” energy is rewarded?

I have to be true to myself. I am not someone who needs to be the loudest person in the room or have my work flashed all over the world. That works perfectly for some people, but it’s not for me.

So I don’t try to pay attention to what others are doing. I focus on what I’m doing and, most importantly, what my couples want. I’m not trying to market myself to only one area, one style, or one type of destination, or to plan a wedding in a random spot of the world just to have it in my portfolio. That’s not my style. Everything has to be intentional. So I try not to focus on what else is out there, and instead plan around what my couples want and tell their story.

At the end of the day, we just have to stay in our lane.

I do follow planners from all over the world, not to see what my competitors are doing, but because they are truly talented artists. Everyone in this industry is so creative, and I love seeing that. I’ll send messages, comment on their posts, and be a supporter of their work.

When it comes to my own work, I want to tell the story of the couple. If I’m being authentic to them, then I don’t need everyone else’s opinions on the matter. I just need to get to know my couples, understand what’s important to them, what story they want to tell, and then design around that. In that sense, it’s not about competing with someone else, because it’s truly about their love story.

→ What is bringing you joy in your work right now?

Everything! It’s fun. That’s the easiest answer.

I’m working on some really beautiful weddings this fall in locations that are new to me, and I’m working with incredible vendors, so that’s exciting. I’m also trying to break out of the “I saw this on Instagram” mindset. Instead, I want to say, “That’s great, now let’s tell your story. What do you want?”

That does take a little more time in the beginning to really understand the details, but once I do, it becomes really fun to design something beautiful and meaningful for each couple.

I just try to have fun with it. Life is too short not to, especially in this industry where the work can be hard. At the end of the day, this work makes me happy, and that’s what matters most.

→ If we were to meet here a year from now, what do you hope we would be celebrating?

I have a couple of calls coming up and I’m connecting with some people. I’m also looking at some new locations that have personal meaning to me, and I’m really hoping those opportunities work out. I would love to book a wedding in those places.

And just life! My goal this year is to connect with more people. I’ve been a bit quiet on the conference and networking scene, but I plan to start showing up more and saying yes to opportunities. In the past, between events and family commitments, it just hasn’t always worked out, but I want to change that. Ultimately, my goal is to connect with more like-minded creative individuals and create more opportunities to collaborate and work together.

→ Final question: what is the number one book you recommend to every creative entrepreneur?

Without a doubt, Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara, as everyone always says, I’m sure. I’ve read it too many times at this point, and absolutely love it.

I was actually just looking it up again because I listened to it recently. I also read The One Thing by Gary Keller, which I found really interesting. It focuses on one thing, blocking out time, making it happen, and trusting that everything else will fall into place as the result of that.