At the Table with Astrid Woltering

“At the Table” is a series of interviews and spotlight conversations with people I admire from within and outside of the wedding industry. These conversations focus on topics related to building an intentional, relationship-first business alongside a present, connected, values-driven personal life.

For years, Astrid and I were “ships passing in the night” within the DC wedding world. I knew of her, I admired her work, I was intersted to meet her, and we were just never in the same room. Then in early 2019, she kindly agreed to second shoot for me on a wedding (my first back from maternity leave after baby #2). We met for coffee, and it was as if we had known each other for years. Instant connection, instant deep friendship. In the years since, we have hosted retreats together, have done sleepovers, we have both moved to South Carolina, and we talk to each other on Marco Polo multiple times a week. She is a very dear, “bestie next door” kind of friend… who just happens to have the same job as I have. Thrilled that she said yes to an interview!

Follow Astrid’s work via her website and IG!

→ First of all, tell me in your own words what you do for work, and why you do it?

I am a wedding photographer for couples getting married in coveted venues, private homes and historic spaces worldwide. I typically specialize on the East Coast but have photographed both intimate and grand wedding celebrations throughout the world.

I do this work because it truly combines all my passions. Travel, fashion, food, culture, adventure, artistry, community and an ever-changing landscape that keeps me inspired. Wedding photography allows me to work and live in a way that feels aligned and I wouldn’t change for anything.

→ What does a typical day look like for you?

I am such a morning person! I love nothing more than being in bed by 9pm and up early before the sun rises with hot coffee. Like most entrepreneurs, no two days are the same. However here is an idea of what a day in the life looks like.

6:15am- I have 3 kids and this is when I wake my younger two boys up and they get ready for school while I get ready for the day. We hop in the golf cart (perks of living in Charleston!) and we are out the door by 6:45am for school drop off.

7-7:30/8am- I love taking a long walk around our charming neighborhood. I also use this time to catch up on my favorite podcasts, audio listen to business books or message with friends.

8-9:30am- Coffee, breakfast, answer emails, editing, send proposals, album designs... etc. while my daughter wakes up and gets ready for middle school.

9:30-10:30- Head to the gym which is typically CrossFit or heavy lifting.

10:30-2pm- Back on the computer for zoom calls, reviewing timelines, planning travel, engagement sessions, more editing, social media posts, any larger strategy sessions.

2-4pm- Pick up kids from school at 2pm for the boys and 4pm for my daughter and the evening chaos of having three kids begins! We get quick snacks, prep dinner if I’m lucky, get ready for soccer and head out the door by 4:30pm.

4:30-8pm- My soccer mom life begins and am on the field most evenings. I usually will either walk during their practice or get more work done in the car while listening to more podcasts.

8:30-9pm- Dinner, bedtimes and I try to be in bed by 9pm to relax and watch tv or catch up on work that wasn’t done before. If it’s a fun night I make my favorite protein shake dessert to eat in bed. If it’s an extra fun night my husband makes me a bourbon instead.

→ In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says that every person has just two core values that shape everything else that they do or believe. Do you agree with that idea? If you could boil your values down to just two, what would they be? How do those influence how you do your work & live your life?

I love this concept. While most of us hold many values, I believe our top two tend to shape the majority of our decisions. So many from Brené Brown’s list resonate with me (family, simplicity, respect, home) but the two that consistently guide my life are intentionality and freedom.

These values are deeply intertwined in how my husband and I have designed our life and how I approach decisions, both big and small, in business and at home. My family and our home are everything and having the freedom to create a life by choice, rather than by default, is very important to me.

To me, freedom touches every area of life: the ability to work from anywhere, to educate our children in the way we choose, to structure my daily schedule with flexibility, to have financial freedom (giving us the ability to make decisions from a place of choice vs necessity), and to shape our days with purpose. It’s about designing our life from the ground up so that, years from now, I never find myself wondering, “How did I end up here?”

Nothing I do is accidental. Every decision is made with intention, guided by a clear north star: how it will impact our home life and the freedom we’ve built as a family.

Whether it’s choosing the city we live in, the neighborhood we settle in, the home we buy, the investments we make, how we travel, even the cars we drive, freedom is always at the forefront. My greatest fear is living on autopilot, never pausing to ask, “Well…WHAT IF?”

→ The British author Alain de Botton has this famous quote: “There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.” I tend to agree with this idea, that work-life balance is an unhelpful goal, and we should instead think about aligned values and healthy rhythms in all spheres of life. What do you think about the phrase “work-life balance?” How do keep healthy rhythms & momentum going in both work and personal spheres?

I fought so hard for work–life balance for a very long time when my babies were little. It felt like a gold star I had to earn, not only to justify how much I worked but also how much I loved it. I felt the pressure to be able to look at my family and confidently feel like I had given them my very best. Then I realized that version of balance was BS. The truth is, anything worth building will, at times, throw your life out of balance. That is not failure, it’s reality, and truthfully something that I think more people should be proud of.

What I’ve found instead is something closer to work–life integration. My work is a meaningful part of my life, and my life naturally flows into how I work. There are seasons when my work takes the lead, and others when my family does, and I’ve learned to release the guilt that used to come with that shift. For every busy stretch of work, there’s a season where I can be fully present at home. It’s never perfectly balanced, it’s a constant, intentional give and take.

There truth is there are always trade-offs. The weddings I photograph sometimes mean missing weekend soccer games. But that same work allows me to be there for school drop-offs, carpools, and the random Wednesday morning performance. I may travel often from Thursday to Sunday, but I also have the freedom to take my kids to the beach on a whim, book a last-minute trip without having to count vacation days, and provide for my family’s financial future.

My work creates the life I want, and my family makes that work feel meaningful. They aren’t in competition, they support each other.

That perspective played a big role in our move to Charleston. There was a time I photographed 15–25 weddings a year, and at one point, our team handled 55 in a single year. Now, I intentionally take on just 10–15. It fits this season of life perfectly, and if it ever stops feeling aligned, I’ll adjust. That’s the beauty of building a life and business by design.

I can always choose again.

→ Some people argue that a focus on people and a focus on profit are competing priorities, but I love talking about the ways that running a relationship-first business aids in building more profitable, sustainable businesses. What do you think about this idea? Are they competing ideas? Why or why not?

I don’t believe you can build a truly profitable business without focusing on people. In fact, I’ve found the opposite to be true. The more deeply you invest in people, the more naturally the profit follows over time. When I look back on my most memorable clients (both personally and financially) every single one was rooted in a genuine connection.

I also don’t subscribe to the idea that if you are focused on profit that in turn means you cannot possibly be focused on people. Somewhere along the way, ambition and financial success started to feel almost demonized, as if having larger than life financial goals somehow diminishes the integrity of your values or your work. I couldn’t disagree with this more.

I will proudly say I am a business owner who very much has a close eye on my profit margins, with crazy big financial goals that I rarely say out loud. These goals work in tandem with my relationships with my clients, vendor teams, and creative partners. Those relationships are always at the center of how I operate.

→ What are some ways that running a people-first business has benefited you? How has it benefited others?

I can attribute the success of my entire business by running a people first business. In the beginning, that meant building alongside other photographers who were growing their businesses, too. Instead of viewing each other as competition, we chose collaboration. We referred one another, shared knowledge, and even hired each other as assistants while we were all still learning. That foundation shaped everything. I truly do not believe I would be here today without those relationships.

As the business evolved, those relationships expanded to larger creative teams and wedding planners who were working at the level and in the style I aspired to. Investing in those connections was essential to my growth and they opened doors I never could have accessed alone.

Now, those relationships extend nationwide, and even internationally. Whether I’m shooting a wedding in Florida, Colorado, California, New York City, or Italy, I have a trusted network of vendors I can rely on. That kind of connection is invaluable.

At the end of the day, none of us grows in isolation. Trying to run a business as an island is the fastest way to burn out. People first, always.

→ Our culture and our industry is fast—trends come and go in the blink of an eye, and there’s just so much noise, especially on social media. It can be tempting to believe that the only way to stand out is to add to the noise, to follow trends, to make a bigger flash than our competitors. But what if you’re a quiet brand? I have written about the difference between Fireworks and Fireplace brands here. Would you say that your business is more of a fireworks display or a fireplace? How does that influence how you market?

Oh, the social media noise… I could talk about this for hours! The truth is, it’s something I still wrestle with. The pressure to constantly show up as “fireworks” online (loud, attention-grabbing, always on) is exhausting. I don’t have a perfect answer, but I try to strike a balance between showing up as who I really am (a fireplace) and being intentional and strategic in how I market my business (fireworks).

Anyone who knows me personally would tell you I am more of a fireplace. That said, who doesn’t love an epic fireworks moment now and then?!! I believe there is a place for both.

My couples tend to care far more about creating meaningful, unforgettable moments for their guests than about how anything performs on social media. They’re not chasing virality, and their most special moments may never even be shown online.

→ How do you stay authentic when it often feels that “fake it ‘til you make it” energy is rewarded?

This one is easy. To be honest I just ignore it. How people become successful is not much of my business. I think “fake it until you make it” has really worked well for a lot of people. And for others like me, “faking it until you make it” would just give me massive anxiety!

That said, I do believe there are moments in business where you need to take the leap before you feel completely ready and trust that your experience, instincts and ability to adapt will carry you through. I also believe there is a difference between responsibly taking on a challenge versus not being forthcoming with what you are capable of delivering.

A friend once sent me a quote she said immediately made her think of me. The quote said,

“Your success is directly proportional to the number of times you say: ‘F*ck it, I’ll figure it out.’”

And I honestly took that as one of the best compliments I’ve ever received!

→ What is bringing you joy in your work right now?

I have so many fun ideas in the works I can hardly wait for this wedding season to get started! There is a really special wedding I am photographing in New England this year that I have some really beautiful ideas for! I also have some fun new vintage cameras I am excited to play with.

→ If we were to meet here a year from now, what do you hope we would be celebrating?

I hope to be celebrating a new body of work of images I am deeply proud of, a growing tight-knit community in Charleston, and a family life that feels slow yet full of adventure.

→ Final question: what is the number one book you recommend to every creative entrepreneur?

Hands down, Unreasonable Hospitality is the number one book every creative entrepreneur should read. Really any business owner period should read. It reads more like a memoir than a traditional business book, which is I think what makes it so impactful. It is the most outstanding example of running a people first business, and how it really is the little things that are the big things.