what if we're asking the wrong question about confidence?

what if we’re asking the wrong question about...

I’ve always believed the most interesting conversations don’t start with certainty.

They start with someone saying, “Hang on... what if we’ve got this backwards?”

Every Monday, that’s exactly what we’ll do.

We’ll take an idea that feels obvious, pull it apart, and see what happens when we stop looking for better answers and start asking better questions.

For as long as I can remember, I've treated confidence like a destination. I'd spend hours falling down YouTube rabbit holes, convinced that one perfect video was all it would take to unlock the version of me who wasn't afraid to take up space. To me, confidence had a look. And I’d be willing to bet that, for many of you reading this, it probably looks pretty similar.

Let me paint the picture.

She’s the woman who takes absolutely no bullshit. She walks into a room and somehow owns it before she’s even said a word. She has no problem putting people in their place. She knows her worth like the back of her hand. She takes up space unapologetically, her voice fills the room, and she does it all effortlessly. Effortlessly being the important word here.

She doesn’t have to psych herself up before walking into the room. She doesn’t rehearse what she’s about to say in her head. She doesn’t spend hours analysing whether she came across as awkward or replay conversations on the journey home. She just... is.

But what if we've been chasing a version of confidence that doesn't actually exist? What if, all along, we've been asking the wrong question?

Instead of asking, "How do I become more confident?", maybe we should be asking, "What if the problem isn't my confidence, but my definition of it?”

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