Inner Work

The undercurrent of war, destruction, separation and fear permeates our world. I sometimes wake up feeling heartbroken. As such, my mornings turn inward. I write myself into the day, looking for the Presence of the Divine. I don’t feel I’m alone in this, so in the early hours as I sit with tea, I know I’m sitting with thousands of others, who light a candle and say a grace to begin anew; begin with how we show up in the world; begin with making art in order to walk in love and beauty. For this creative circle I give thanks that none of us are ever as alone or as broken as we think we might be. Here I share today’s journal entry, more cathartic than craft, but connected somehow to those in my universe who write their way into the day too.

4.15.2026:

In these older years crisping and curling the edges of my being, I grow more reflective. A commitment to inner work, baptizes through water and flame, a contemplative need. For me it began at sixty-five and continues to pick up speed. I’m redefining who I am and it’s tricky not having the day-to-day roles of work, career and title as the goal. There is an un-lived life calling, one of inner work, humbling by its nature, solitary in it’s need, and radiant in its discovery.

Beauty finds me in writing my old age, into secret stories asking for release. A pen can make peace or war with a thousand words. Crafting a poem can be illuminating and liberating. Essays and stories connect us like threads in a great tapestry, inclusive of all. There is not just my story or your story, but always, the story.

Eternity shines the light on how I’ve clawed my way through boneyards of disappointment, betrayal and regret. Yet in a moment’s pause, tuning into the emptiness between an inhale and exhale, a gentle radiance surprises. Through the illuminated lens, the remnants of life lived in illusion reveal themselves, as a new dawn continues to rise in my heart.

Sometimes I’ve tried too hard to define and therefore separate what exists as whole and held in this tender mystery. Reflection informs me there is no joy without sorrow; no love without loss, no dark without light . . . but so often I battle windmills trying to live just one side of things while pushing away the other.

I read an article recently about AI tech bro leaders, who eschew anything reflective, mocking the notion of a purpose driven life. Soul’s light will never be replicated by AI. Maybe it takes the battle of survival and years of bad choices in order to discover the need for looking deeply and not just transactionally.

Can Oneness exist within this dualistic thinking? Or am I like Persephone learning to dance with Hades? Within their dance was masculine and feminine, dark and light, love and loss, and the discovery of a way to embrace all of it and become one. Embracing all is the ultimate say “yes to life.” That’s really the purpose of this entry, an underscoring of One. God/Goddess/All That Is, exists everywhere in everything in every moment. It is here that I begin to write my way into the day, with the comfort of this knowledge.

With love and appreciation for my fellow creative souls on this journey in these time, ~Stephanie