👀 this newsletter just got a huge glow-up

It’s June 2003. Fresh out of my first year of real school (read: Kindergarten). I’ve set up a “desk” in the little bedroom I share with my twin brother. It’s made from an old cardboard box.

I lug my overfilled Lisa Frank (iykyk) backpack to my “desk” and dump out the contents:

I’m PUMPED because I’m six years old, I can finally read, and I’m about to learn the heck out of all these ✨topics.✨ My hyperfixations in the summer of 2003 include ancient Egypt (my #1 for many years), underwater creatures, paleontology, rainforest ecosystems, and Italy (not even the Roman empire, literally just Italy).

I painstakingly copy down facts from these books into my own spiral-bound wide-ruled notebook, wobbly handwriting snaking across the page in crooked lines. I read my “research papers” aloud to my parents, who probably think they’ve birthed a total geek who at worst will become an adult with a terribly addictive personality or at best will cure cancer or something one day (Mom, I know you’re reading this—please let me know what you were thinking when I started doing this).

Now, fast forward 23 years, and what am I doing?

In some ways, the exact same shit.

I became a journalist, then a communications specialist, then unemployed (shout out DOGE/Tr*mp for that one).

And suddenly I needed a place that was mine to tell stories on my own terms.

Then I started Throughlines, a place where I could write my little weekly essays for my little audience, process some grief, and maybe make a name for myself as a writer in ways that felt meaningfully different from my journalism/communications career.

To be honest, I had no clue what I was doing when I started Throughlines. I gave it the tagline “exploring the threads of story and self” because it felt broad enough that it could encompass anything…which is true; it’s definitely broad. But does that tagline even mean anything? I’m not sure.

I had this idea that I’d write Big Important Essays on Big Serious Topics—which I did, sometimes, and I’m very proud of those—but as I went on I learned that what I really appreciated about this space is the ability to have fun with writing in a public way.

So I kept doing that. And somehow, Throughlines has kept growing: As I write this we’re well on our way to 600 subscribers. Compared to bestsellers here, that admittedly isn’t a ton. But it is about twice the number of seats in a lecture hall, and to have that many people tuning in each week—flabbergasted is the word that comes to mind.

Now, as we enter this second year together—the next chapter, if you will—I can’t stop thinking about that six year old kid and her various obsessions. If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know that it took me 22 summers after that one to get diagnosed with ADHD, which gave me a whole new vocabulary for ✨the way I’d always been.✨

I realized hyperfixations were a hallmark of ADHD, and suddenly my whole life made a lot more sense. I also realized that my favorite (and most popular!) Throughlines posts have been about some of my various adult hyperfixations: jealousy, death, rejection, and book writing.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do to make this newsletter better align with what we do best around here.

Ironically, this newsletter “growing up” is actually taking me back to that little geek of a six year old. Turns out I’m growing up to be just like her.

HYPER/FIXATED: a little more in-your-face, a little more energy, a little more obsession, and a lot more aligned.

Behind the scenes, I’ve been playing with the idea of tightening the spine of this project around intense curiosity: the rabbit holes, the obsessions, the things I read 40 tabs deep.

So that’s where we’re headed: deeper into the stuff I (and you) can’t shut up about.

If you’re feeling a little sad about losing Throughlines, I get it—I’ve grown emotionally attached to this project too. But we’re not losing Throughlines altogether. The 1,000 Rejections Challenge, which was many of y’all’s introduction to me, is still sticking around.

The deep emotional essays will still be here, too. But they’ll be joined by some more targeted explorations of the topics that bring me joy and the ones that keep me up at night.

Plus, I’m adding a new monthly interview series, DEEPLY/INVESTED, where I talk to people (maybe even you reading this!) about the subjects they’re most obsessed with.

If you’ve been here since the first Throughlines days, thank you for sticking around for this evolution. If you’re new, welcome to HYPER/FIXATED—a home for the stories and ideas that just won’t leave you alone.

I’m sure you can tell that I’m super excited and energized by this new direction. But I’m curious: What do you think about the new name? Do you have any hyperfixations you want to see explored in this newsletter? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

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The Current/Hyperfixations section will be at the end of each post moving forward. This is the place where I’ll highlight some of the little things I can’t stop thinking about each week, like a book, a podcast episode, a skincare product, an essay, etc.

1. “no, you aren’t bisexual” by ziyi. I’ll admit, the slightly ragebait-y title got me at first, but I found this to be a rare well-rounded and down-to-earth perspective on queer internet culture especially as it pertains to bisexual women and queerbaiting. Well worth the read.

2. Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino—for fans of Yellowface and anything in the “wierd girl lit” category. I am obsessed with books whose narrators are extremely unreliable and unlikeable, ESPECIALLY when said narrators descend into madness over petty, real-life problems (for instance, the insanely competitive DC housing market). Marisa is a friend-of-a-friend, and when we spoke to her about the book a couple weeks ago, she said she had a lot of fun channeling her post-pandemic righteous female rage into this book. It shows.

3. This “creamy” keyboard. I recently upgraded to my first mechanical keyboard, and as someone who types all day for her career, this thing is a GAME CHANGER. It feels like I’m creating my own ASMR all day while I work. Plus it’s technically a gaming keyboard so they keys light up while I type. Obsessed.