1. "The groom got too drunk and hooked up with the MOH. It was so embarrassing. I'm assuming the bride never turned the marriage license into the clerk."
"I was a plus-one, so I didn't know either of them. But my date said the bride suspected they had feelings for each other for a while. *Personally* if I had that fear, I wouldn't have made her a MOH (let alone invite her), but who knows?
It was so awkward that they both disappeared for a while, and the bride eventually went up to their hotel room. She came down crying and screaming. She told everyone to stay and keep partying since it was already paid for, but it killed the mood."
3. "I have one about a black-tie wedding. 500K wedding, paid for by the bride's family. Super high-end everything. The bride did notice the groom was acting strange, very jittery, as if he did not want to go through with it. Well, they barely made it through the wedding before the groom disappeared. He had been having an affair with the lawyer writing the prenup and ran off with him that day."
"Turned out he was actually gay, and everyone kinda knew or suspected anyway, but also wrongly assumed that the bride must've known.
At least it was a quick annulment, lol."
4. "I attended one wedding where a guest sang a song about her love for the groom."
"The singer was the bride's friend. She had too much to drink. The song was from the '80s: 'Congratulations' by a singer named Vesta.
Here are some of the lyrics:
'Congratulations. I thought it would have been me standin' here with you.
Congratulations. I hope you're happy, 'cause as long as I can breathe, you'll always be the one for me.
Why was I the last to know? I thought that we were special.
My soul shakes. My heart breaks.'
After singing a few bars, the DJ cut in and played some music. Someone took the friend out. The bride didn't get upset, and people just danced. I'm not sure what possessed her to do that. It happened fairly quickly."
17. "The bad ones usually involve police or EMS/Fire. The really bad ones involve both. I was helping a caterer friend of mine with a gig, just doing some easy buffet management. The plus-one of the maid of honor was over-served and cut off at the wedding bar, then went to another bar in the venue's space and kept drinking. Toward the end of the night, he started making a number of inappropriate comments about the bride and kept trying to get handsy/dance with her and her younger cousins, who were bridesmaids. Eventually, the groom and groomsmen were sick of it (understandably). The best man threw a punch, and there was a small scuffle between the best man, a few groomsmen, and the plus-one. The plus-one was able to run out; he was then caught out back, setting fire to some pallets and rags."
"Police and fire came; they had to taze the plus-one three times before he'd go down, and he ended up breaking a cop's nose. The plus-one, best man, and a groomsman left in cuffs — I'm just glad the groom wasn't in the scuffle since the night in jail is not how most people want to spend their wedding night!"
33. "I wasn't there, but a dude got so drunk at the reception and wanted cigarettes, so he left, and on his return, he hit something, popped three tires, drove on rims back to the reception, and got arrested at the venue in front of everyone."
"Also, I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago where the DJ was trying to fix some lighting that he couldn't reach, so he got on a chair, and it folded both of his legs in, and he slammed to the ground, trapped inside the chair. He was okay."
36. "I was DJing a wedding reception many years ago when some family/friends convinced the hired MC to tell a story about the best man doing a nude run across the bride's front yard one night just as the groom came home from work. I was told everyone knew it was a joke and would think it was hilarious. He told the story, and you could hear a pin drop afterward — turned out the best man had been having an affair with the bride, and it was a very sensitive subject."
"The bridesmaid (wife of the best man) started a screaming punch-up with the bride. The groom and best man went at it, too. Relatives and friends started an all-in brawl and turned on the MC, who had to flee into a backroom and lock himself in. Chairs thrown, plates and tables smashed. Complete mayhem.
Police arrived and shut it all down. Everyone, including the new husband and wife, went their separate ways.
I got paid at the start of the night, so I didn't care.
I heard later that some of the guests started up again at the ER while getting treated and were arrested."
40. "I wish I had more to this story. My wife and I went out of town for a wedding, and stayed in the same hotel as the bride and the rest of the bridal party. The wedding was nice, and afterward, we ended up at the bar attached to the hotel, just hanging out. At some point, another bridal party showed up, but it was pretty calm, and my wife and I ended up going to bed. We wake up the next morning and go down for breakfast, and this place is trashed. There is blood and vomit everywhere. Apparently, after we left, the other bridal party got hammered and started a huge brawl. The bride was arrested in her wedding dress that was covered in her own blood and puke. I wish I had stayed up. The best man from the wedding I attended was the only one who had witnessed the whole thing, and he said it was wild."
43. "I went to a wedding once where the invitation said that there wouldn't be music at the reception, and asked everyone who played an instrument to bring one; they would have a 'jam session' for reception entertainment instead. The only person who brought an instrument was the groom, who played the didgeridoo. So the reception was just 20 or so minutes of the groom playing the didgeridoo before someone took pity on them and retrieved their laptop from their car and blasted whatever was saved in their iTunes."
"Every other part of the wedding was 'BYO' as well. BYO food, drinks, and chairs. We forgot about the chairs part and had to stand. I really only went to this wedding so I could see the train wreck, and I was not disappointed.
This took place in Iowa, a place not known for the didgeridoo whatsoever, and the didgeridoo was not in the cultural heritage of anyone present, including the bride and groom. The groom just thought didgeridoos were neat."
50. "At my wife's cousin's wedding, someone broke into the bridal room in the church basement and stole all of the cash out of most of the purses and bags locked in there."
"The only two bags not cleaned out were my wife's and her sister's, which led to the bride's wing of the family accusing my wife's brother of the crime.
This was in 2007 and is still a source of deep controversy in the family.
I wasn't there since I didn't know her then, but my wife was at another cousin's wedding and danced with the groom because he asked. During said dance, he propositioned her and made a quick grab of her ass.
My wife told her cousin afterward, who was pissed...at my wife for...something.
Anyway, the happy couple was married for less than a year. Cousin is actually on her third marriage now."
51. And finally, we'll end on a long one that has me thinking "wedding planner" might be the most stressful career:
"I can think of a few things from the many weddings I've done over the years...
— Bride smashed her teeth in a face-to-face collision with her maid of honor while they were head-banging on the dance floor (but she kept partying because she's a badass, meanwhile I was texting dentists while DJing).
— Mother of the groom collapsed into full anaphylaxis at the reception and was carted away by ambulance.
— Water outage halfway through the evening at a very nice venue. I had to get on the mic and implore 175 people not to take a dump because the toilets weren't working, and for the men to piss in the woods. Probably one of the most awkward announcements I've ever had to make.
— Someone tried to start a physical fight with me onstage.
— The head table caught on fire.
— The bride's friend broke both of her front teeth when she slipped on the dance floor and caught herself with her face (not the same wedding as the other dental nightmare).
— Someone literally shit themselves.
— The videographer's equipment failed at the ceremony and lost all footage. (Fortunately, I smelled an amateur from a mile away, so I had set up my own cameras as backup).
— The ring bearer lost the rings in the short distance across the lawn to the holding point where the ceremony was held. We never found them. (NEVER give kids the actual rings!)
— The venue secretly sold the building to the Qatari government and canceled all weddings on short notice.
— The fire alarm went off even though they had disabled the smoke detectors for a small cultural ritual that generated smoke. The venue couldn't shut it off for four hours — almost the entire wedding.
This is by no means a comprehensive list, just the ones I could think of off the top of my head."
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.