We recently shared some of the wedding moments people have witnessed that gave them major doubts the marriage would last.
Well, it turns out these red flags are more common than you think, so when glockbonez asked r/AskReddit, "As a wedding guest, what was the 'this marriage isn't going to last long' moment?" We thought the people deserved more.
1. "Found out at the wedding that one person wanted kids and the other didn't. They divorced within the year."
2. "He leaned in for the first kiss, and her gut reaction was to jump backwards. There was a collective holding of breath."
3. "Bride was found in the act with her soon-to-be brother-in-law by the entire family. Apparently, they had been having an affair for quite a while and still somehow got married that day."
4. "His vows included the term ‘sometimes you just have to bite the bullet’."
5. "I didn't know the couple well (I was the plus-one), but I knew things were doomed when the bride kept making jokes at her groom's expense, and he just kind of grinned and took it. His eyes were sad, but he was trying to save face."
6. "The next morning, the gift box (containing envelopes of cash) went missing. It took about two hours for the bride and maid of honour to figure out the groom had stolen it. He never actually copped to what he did with the money."
7. "The father of the bride's speech included a family tree showing that the bride and groom were distant cousins."
8. "He shoved cake all over her face while she literally begged him not to. He only stopped when his sister started screaming at him and physically intervened. It was very awkward, and the bride looked so sad."
9. "Best man, high on heroin, dropped his weed and rolling papers on the dance floor with everyone watching, walking up to make an impromptu congratulations speech to the new couple, lamenting the fact that he probably couldnt hook up with the bride anymore, now that she was married and might become a mom."
10. "The bride sang karaoke ‘Before He Cheats’ at the reception. To be fair, though, she killed it."
11. "His sister stood up mid-ceremony to share that he had a second family and that the bride should not marry him."
12. "Well, I know a guy where most of his officiant's speech was about all the trials and tribulations they had gone through to get here, which was weird because they’d only known each other six months. Anyway, that was eight months ago, and they’re getting divorced."
13. "A friend of mine had a wild one."
"After the ceremony and at the reception hall, but before drinks or food were even served and before guests had even fully reached their seats, the newlyweds got into a heated argument about some uninvited guest.
Apparently, the uninvited guest was the woman the groom had recently cheated on his new wife with. Recently as in, it happened just a couple of weeks ago.
The argument went on for a while and eventually ended when the same woman showed up to pick the newly married husband up...
So that was the moment when my friend thought, ‘I don't think this marriage is going to last too long.’"
14. "When they both came up to me (maid of honour) separately on the wedding day to say they had changed their minds, but they were too embarrassed to back out."
15. "The groom tried (and failed) to get everyone to toast to ‘him being a stud’, called her a trophy wife, and had an actual trophy to give her (she refused it; it was super awkward). I didn't see them together at all after the meal."
16. "Brides' sister stole my entire summer's paycheque from my purse while I was fixing the bride's dress the night before the wedding. Fast-forward to the reception in the church basement, and the sister called a drug dealer to meet her at the church and used my money to buy drugs that she and the groom used. I gave it a year. Lasted eight months."
17. "The groom's parents hired a belly dancer to basically give him a lap dance in the middle of the dance floor. The bride left the reception in tears, followed by her friends and family. Divorced 18 months later."
18. "The groom got arrested several hours into the reception. He started a fight with his dad, and the venue called the police. The pregnant bride had to climb through a window to get into their house because he had the keys, and then had to use their wedding money to bail him out. Good times."
19. "Wedding vendor here: easily half-a-million-dollar wedding and reception. Lobster tail for cocktail hour, four-course sit-down dinner, that kind of thing."
"By the end of the night, the groom was completely wasted and had puked on himself and the bride. They tried to get into the photo booth but got into an argument inside. As they exited, the groom's parents were leaving. I couldn't hear the entire conversation, but I heard the mum say, ‘He's your problem now,’ as she left. Daaayyyuummm. I never looked them up to see what happened, but I don't think it lasted."
20. "When my brother got married, the bride cried and cried. It went from, ‘Aw, she's emotional,’ to, ‘Uh-oh, does she really want this?’ Anyway, she cheated on him within two years, and they divorced. Twenty years on, he's happily married. I hope she's happy too."
21. "Groom made out with his best man at the reception!"
22. "My mom was a bridesmaid and at the reception the groom whispered in her ear 'I wish it was you'."
23. "I was a wedding singer, and a non-zero number of grooms made a pass at me. One even called me the day after I met the couple to go over songs. I picked up because I assumed it was to change the music, but he was calling to say he noticed I was eye-fucking him (wtf) and he could get us a motel room."
"As a wedding guest, I’ve only been to one wedding where I figured they’d be divorced within a year. He shoved her face in the wedding cake, and she ran off crying with her bridesmaids. He showed no remorse and got plastered.
She slogged it out for almost three years before leaving him."
24. "In-laws brawling in the hallway of a cheap motel after the reception."
25. "The bride planned the whole wedding with the theme Beauty and the Beast..."
"Complete with life-size mannequins of the Disney characters at the entrance to the party (Beast on the boy's family's side, Belle on her side) and tacky little paper decorations from the Disney film across all the tables... And just lots of jokes about him being a ‘beast’. She is a very petite girl, and the groom was a large guy, a professional cricketer, and it just felt like so many jokes at his expense so she could feel cute. They lasted a year."
26. "When the newlyweds were taken away in cuffs in separate cruisers."
"It was at the reception; they'd decided to throw hands at the bartender who'd cut them off."
27. "She refused to kiss him at the altar."
"She was marrying him for his grandfather's money. They divorced within a year when we found out she was banging my boyfriend."
28. "When the absolutely shit faced groom pulled his balls out and dipped them in the cake during the cutting."
29. "One of the guests had a medical emergency, and an ambulance had to be called. The bride was distraught and worried for her friend. As her bridal party, we tried to comfort her; her new husband sat at the bar 70 feet away, drinking whiskey and looking annoyed."
30. "They did a top-10 list for their vows. His number one was, ‘She has the prettiest teeth I’ve ever come across…’."
31. "My sister stood up and said, ‘Well, I'm pregnant, so, you know, I kinda had to get married.’ She has four kids, four baby daddies, and has been married now at least eight times."
32. "We have a tradition called the ‘chair dance’, where the bride and groom are lifted on chairs and kept apart while the song plays. They are slowly brought together for a kiss. The bride's friends decided (and the bride thought it would be funny) to also, on a third chair, bring out her ex."
33. "A woman burst through the door yelling, ‘I object!’"
"Everybody turned to the groom in horror, only to see him look utterly confused and go, ‘Excuse me, but who are you...?’ This woman ignores him, runs up to the bride and kisses her. The bride smiled a brighter smile than I've ever seen her show her would-be groom, and apparently everybody else thought the same thing because there was this collective, like, gasp/‘ah...’ kind of sound that went around the room. Yeah......
After a few minutes, the groom was like, ‘Excuse me, everybody, I'm very sorry, but could you give us a moment, please?’ asking us to get out. Dude didn't even have to finish his sentence by the time he said ‘very’. You'd have thought somebody had let off a biohazardous chemical weapon, how quickly people evacuated from the premises."
Additional thumbnail credits: ABC, ABC, The CW, ABC
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.