We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the dumbest thing someone they knew said. A lot of people shared idiotic things their spouses said, so here are the funniest ones:
1. "My wife said 'Mounds or Almond Joy, which is the one that has nuts?'"
—Anonymous, 68, male, Milwaukee
2. "I went on a trip with my wife to New York. While looking at the dinosaur exhibit at the Natural History Museum, she said, 'I wonder what it would have been like to live with the dinosaurs.' She was serious. I was like, 'Uh, we never did.' She replied, 'Then how do we know so much about them? I always thought people kept journals while living amongst them.' Yeah, I have my work freakin’ cut out for me."
—Anonymous, 27, Male, Utah
3. "My husband thought it was stupid that I was trying to teach our dog to shake hands because she’s a girl and 'only boys shake hands.' Who did I even marry?"
—Anonymous, Female, 50, Nevada
4. "On our wedding night, my ex-husband asked, 'What does terminated mean?' Yup, we were 18 years old, pregnant, and I was the only one with a job."
5. "My husband and I were actually taking a tour at my son’s new college, and the guide was talking about the Greek life on campus. I thought he was talking about real Greek people. I realized the mistake after I saw the look on my husband's face."
6. "Bank debit cards were a fairly new concept. I got an overdraft notice from the bank. My ex-husband said it was no problem; we could just go to the ATM and withdraw money to deposit in our checking account. I had to explain that the ATM did not just dole out free money; every transaction deducted from our account. He was stunned."
—Anonymous, Female, 65
7. "My husband thought that women wear white when they are on their period because that’s what they do in feminine hygiene commercials."
—Anonymous
8. "My ex-husband saw a Tampax commercial on TV and said, 'They’re advertising those when they know women are having their periods.' I had to explain that we were not all on the same schedule."
—Anonymous, 74, Female, Oregon
9. "In the airport, taking my (now ex) husband on a business trip to California with me, he couldn’t understand why I was setting my watch back three hours. When I explained time zones to him, he argued with and laughed at me. He refused to believe me until he saw the clocks when we landed."
—Anonymous, 70, Female, Florida
10. "My husband and I were discussing our neighbor, who just got diagnosed with prostate cancer, and my husband said that he should probably get his prostate examined. Then he looked at me and said, 'Hon, you should probably get your prostate checked too!' I told him that women don't have prostates."
11. "My first husband and I went to my cousin’s house to watch the first moon landing on TV. On the way home, he asked me if I thought we would ever see a man land on the sun."
—Anonymous
12. "My ex-husband asked how the rice multiplies in the pot when it cooks. He thought it multiplied."
—Anonymous
13. "My husband claimed he could just open the window to 'dust' his office."
14. "When my husband and I were trying to have a baby, I told him, 'I got my period, but we’ll keep trying.' He said, 'How do you know you’re not pregnant? Did you take a test?'"
—Anonymous, 30, Female, Georgia
15. "I once told my husband I was going to make banana bread. He looked at me completely confused and asked how that was possible since we didn’t have any bread. He thought that pieces of bread went into the batter."
—Anonymous, 53, Female, California
16. "My husband didn’t know that butterflies and moths were transformed from caterpillars."
—Anonymous, 40, Female, California
17. "My husband got in a fight with Alexa because she would not answer his question. The question? 'Alexa, who is the governor of your state?' Without telling her which state. Poor Alexa was so confused!"
—Anonymous
18. "When my husband saw a bumper sticker that said 'FREE TIBET,' he asked, 'What’s a tibet?'"
—Anonymous
19. "A good friend of mine is married to a woman who thinks sitting in a bathtub full of water (or a swimming pool) is what gets someone 'clean.' She refuses to use soap."
—Anonymous
20. "My ex-husband asked me what the capital of Chicago was."
—Anonymous
21. And finally, "My husband at the time, now ex, was locked inside the car. Yes, you read that correctly, INSIDE. I had to hit the unlock on the key fob because he couldn’t figure out how to get out. I kid you not, this actually happened."
—Anonymous
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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