One of the best parts of having a close friend is being able to complain about relationships, get advice, and have a shoulder to cry on if things go south with the apple of your eye. But have you ever thought about what would happen if the shoulder you were crying on was the exact reason you had tears to shed in the first place?
We recently posed what I thought was a wild question to you, our BuzzFeed Community. We asked if anyone had been in a relationship that ended because their partner cheated with a friend. Or, alternatively, if anyone got their partner by being the friend they cheated with. Turns out, the answer was a big, resounding YUUUUUUP!
You all shared some pretty intense stories! Some have happy endings. Others, not so much... Here are some of the most jaw-dropping, absurd, and awe-inspiring responses:
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
1. "I've been with my man for almost a year, but he cheated on me with his best friend, and I found out in a not-so-good way. A week before, he asked if I wanted to come over the next week to watch a movie and hang out with friends. I said sure, and asked if I could bring my childhood friend. He said yes, since he was bringing his girl best friend. I met her once or twice, and she was really sweet, so I thought nothing of it. Fast-forward to the day of the hangout — my friend and I showed up at his house early, and we heard weird noises coming from upstairs. I thought his little sister was crying, so we ran upstairs to his room, where the noise was coming from. I opened his door and saw him and his girl best friend in the middle of doing it.
My friend and I were disgusted with what we saw. He proceeded to tell me that it's not what it looks like, that she forced herself on him, and he didn't want any of it, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, I didn't believe him and told him not to touch me with his gross hands. My best friend and I left his house and have completely cut ties with him."
—Anonymous, 32, Female, South Carolina
2. "I was 18 and too immature to notice at the time. I went out with a friend's brother. We were part of a tight group and would hang out all the time. For context, the friend's wife had five kids, each from a different relationship. Long story short, she would often ask about my relationship and wanted to know intimate details. I saw her as a close friend, so I didn't think much of it. I broke up with this guy about six months into the relationship, as I kept getting a weird vibe. Probably my intuition. A few days later, another close friend found my ex and this lady making out heavily. Turns out they had been having an affair for months, and his getting into a relationship with me was part of their cover-up.
Mind you, this lady was about 32, and he was 20. The husband didn't want to believe that this happened and broke all contact with our friend group. We reconnected years later, and he told me about how he walked in on them having sex while he was supposed to be at work. They divorced, and my ex and the wife got married and went on to have kids together."
—Anonymous, 37, Female, Mexico
3. "Met my now-husband through a friend who initially brought him into the friend group by telling us she was interested in dating him. As one does with girl code, he was immediately off limits, which, at first, wasn't an issue. That is, until he and I ended up at two solo dinners when my friends ditched us at the last minute, and we were already there. Both times, we ended up talking for hours, realizing we had a ton in common, and the chemistry was obvious. I still made it a point not to do anything that went beyond just talking. Fast-forward a few weeks, and my friend now tells me she's no longer interested in him. I'd never told her about the accidental dates or us hanging out solo. But at this point, I figured I had a green light. She and he had never gone out, kissed, or even dated. So, I made my move, and he and I started dating quickly thereafter.
Yes, I should have come clean and asked her first if it was OK, which was not a great move on my part. Coming to her afterward to say we were dating when she already heard about it from someone else was also not the way to go, but something in me knew that he was special. After she found out, she confronted me and turned everyone in our friend group against me. Eventually, I found new friends and, in the end, I married that man. We're expecting our first child together later this year. I do wish I'd been a better friend and handled the situation differently, but I don't regret ending up where I am now, with the love of my life!"
—Anonymous, 37, Female, New York City, New York
4. "No cheating involved, but I met my partner when I was in high school, and he was dating my best friend at the time. We hit it off, and at every party or gathering, we would talk and laugh. They broke up, and very shortly after, we got together. Ten years later, we have a son. Don't regret a thing, but the girl and I are, not surprisingly, no longer in contact."
—Anonymous, 28, Female, Australia
5. "He was always the perfect husband, provider, and seemed to never look at another woman. I was the envy of my friends and family. Then the truth came out. I then understood why they always treated him so well. His downfall was sleeping with my 20-year-old niece. My sister caught them. Well, he's now an ex."
—Anonymous, 55, Female, Indiana
6. "I was with a guy for a few months in high school. He was my everything. Because of some family stuff, he broke up with me, but we were still talking, and I was trying to get back together with him. My best friend tried to 'help' and ended up stealing him from me. He ended up cheating on her with me, and in the end, I got him. We've been married for 14 years now. She stole him, and I stole him back."
—Anonymous, 33, Female, Washington, D.C.
7. "I ended things with my boyfriend of a year. We were not a match. It was not a good relationship. But, his best friend... What a hot guy with brains. There was a buildup while I was still with my ex, but nothing really happened. Not without his permission. When we could, we ended things. I moved out, and a few months later, I was with his best friend, my now-husband. We have three little ones."
—Anonymous, Female, Belgium
8. "We were high school BFFS, and she started cheating on her boyfriend. They broke up, she became a horrible person, and we stopped being friends. Her ex-boyfriend and I became closer. Eventually, we got closer and dated. She moved out of the country, so I don't even know if she knew, but we're not together anymore."
—Anonymous, 25, Female, Colombia
9. "We were together for 16 years, married for the last six. I would have never thought she was seeking out someone else. We were so in love, or at least I was. I borrowed her phone one day and saw her looking up Capricorn-Virgo compatibility on Reddit. She's a Capricorn. I'm an Aquarius. I don't really believe in astrology, but apparently she does. A week later, I see her reading a story on how to get Virgo men to chase you. July 4, she left me and stayed the night at some dude's house. He's a Virgo. She works in a county office, and he works in a jail office, but they attend meetings together regularly. The day before, she told me she loved me and held me. The next day, she hates me. Now, I'm just stuck with questions and no answers. Brokenhearted and falling apart."
—Anonymous, 47, Male, Oklahoma
10. "I had to go to the ER to see my husband for a broken penis. He had a very believable story about it happening at work and stuck to it. When the ambulance bill came, the call address was not his work."
—Anonymous, 30, Female, Ottawa, Canada
11. "We were newlyweds for just under a year, and I have a fetish for men's underwear. I always smelled my boyfriend's underwear, but never told anyone. Doing the laundry was the best part. But then it had this funky scent with some sort of perfume. And, to top it off, his biker shorts had blonde hair on them. We both have black hair. Rage set in, and then a payback plan. After a month of research, I surprised them. They were hiding in a storage area. I got photos. Divorce was very quiet and beneficial for me. He had to go away."
—Anonymous, 39, Female, Bolingbrook, Illinois
12. "When it became legal for same-sex couples to marry, I married my high school sweetheart. Some time later, we divorced. I knew she was cheating on me with her former high school science teacher, but it wasn't until a year after the divorce that I found out she was also cheating with my friend who lived next door."
—Anonymous, 51, Female, USA
And, finally:
13. "When my ex-husband and I were dating, I became really good friends with his best friend's wife. She was part of my bridal party, helped me plan my baby shower, and after my daughter was born, we hit the gym together. One night after she started a new job, we were hanging out, and she mentioned to me that she had always thought my husband hated her because he apparently gave off weird vibes around her, and she was perceiving it as animosity. Weirdly enough, my husband and I had recently discussed how he actually felt about her, and he told me he had always thought she was awesome, that she and his best friend made a great team, and that he was happy we had become close friends because he knew I needed good, supportive people in my life. I told her all of this, and she was shocked that he didn't hate her, and I was excited because I thought we could all start doing more together, and we did.
We started going on more double dates, and other couples' activities, and just generally started hanging out with each other more, and I thought it was great. So when my husband lost his job, I didn't think anything of it when she practically begged him to apply for a job at her company. And I didn't blink an eye when she filled out his application or took an hour-long personality test for him. After he got the job, I didn't question it either when they started carpooling, even though they were stationed at different offices. I actually didn't start questioning anything until one night he called to tell me that they were on their way home and he'd be there in 30 minutes. Well, that 30 minutes came and went, but he didn't show up until two hours later. I tried to ask him about it, but he never did tell me what actually happened.
After that, their friendship made me nervous and uncomfortable. I begged my husband for months to stop carpooling, and when he finally did, he was a complete asshole about it. He would constantly yell at me about how much he had to spend on gas now to drive himself to work. Not long after they stopped carpooling together, we had a small party in the basement of our house, and she and her husband showed up. I remember having a conversation with my best friend, and I just happened to look up at my husband in that moment and noticed the look he was sharing with his best friend's wife. They were staring at each other like they were the only two people in the room, and there was some secret between the two of them. It was in that exact moment I knew they were fucking and had been the whole time.
After that night, I tried for months to get them to admit to what was going on, but they wouldn't. Not long after that party, I had an ovarian cyst rupture for the first time. I begged my husband to take me to the hospital to get checked out because I was in a ton of pain and scared. He looked at me with disgust in his eyes and told me he had plans to help her move gym equipment into her house, so I'd have to find someone else to take me. My best friend took me. A couple of weeks later, his best friend showed up at our house in the middle of the night to threaten him. He was starting to get suspicious, too, and he had a violent temper, but that still wasn't enough to get my husband to leave her alone. Finally, after over a year of them running around behind our backs, my husband sat me down to tell me he had just bought a new house, he wanted a divorce, and he came clean about the affair.
He told me that they were going to be moving in together, which is why he bought the house, and he would appreciate it if I could be cool about this because he loved her so much and wanted it to work. No problem. He moved out about a month later after closing on his house, but she never followed him. For six months, she always had an excuse as to why she couldn't move in yet. Around this time, I finally filed for divorce and, thankfully, he made it as painless as possible. We were able to finalize our divorce in less than a month. His newly single status wasn't enough to get her to move in with him, and shortly after our divorce, it came out that he wasn't the only dude she'd been screwing behind her husband's back.
When she was finally ready to leave her husband, she didn't pick my ex. She picked the other guy she had been fucking, who, coincidentally, looks like he could be my ex-husband's twin. She married him within weeks of her divorce, and they moved across the country shortly after. After his heartbreak, my ex came crawling back to me, begging me to take him back, like there's any chance in hell I ever would."
—Anonymous, 31, Female, Idaho
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