Every four years, I take it as my duty to remind everyone that figure skating is, without a doubt, the most terrifyingly athletic sport in existence.
1. First of all, let's talk about the chucking.
Joosep Martinson / Getty Images
2. Like, they're up there tossing human beings five feet in the air, on skates, ON ICE.
Elsa / Getty Images
3. There's also the human sweeping.

JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP via Getty Images
4. Which is, not only insane, but also unreal.

Joosep Martinson / Getty Images
5. The level of trust required to let someone spin you two inches above solid ice is...a lot.

Joosep Martinson / Getty Images
6. : 0

Joosep Martinson / Getty Images
7. We have whatever is going on right here:

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
8. Here:

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
9. And also here:

Jamie Squire / Getty Images
10. It's very much giving "Look what I can do!"

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
11. It's like she's on one of those swings at the amusement park.

Elsa / Getty Images
12. Yeah, I'll stick to Six Flags.

GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP via Getty Images
13. Even when they fall, it's like, how can you still walk?

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images
14. That would kill me.

GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP via Getty Images
15. I didn't know the human body could contort into a circle like this.

Jared C. Tilton / Getty Images
16. I also don't think people realize that they are spinning at approximately 300 miles per hour while holding their own blade. WITH THEIR HANDS.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
17. My ankles hurt just looking at this.

Sarah Stier / Getty Images
18. That looks safe.

Dean Mouhtaropoulos / Getty Images
19. This hairography, though.

Jamie Squire / Getty Images
20. One slight slip and this becomes a very different kind of news story.

Elsa / Getty Images
21. The margin for error here is roughly the width of a dental floss string, like that skate could do some permanent damage.

Elsa / Getty Images
22. K.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
23. Also K.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
24. It's like he's being raptured.

JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP via Getty Images
25. Another picture where the camera angle is completely confusing me.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
26. I'm sorry, but is he floating? Is there a harness I'm not seeing?

Andy Cheung / Getty Images
27. I can't even tell you what's happening here.

GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP via Getty Images
28. Or here?

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
29. Me trying to reach for the remote without getting off the couch.

GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP via Getty Images
30. I'd be concussed.

GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP via Getty Images
31. I got a cramp just from looking at this picture.

Joosep Martinson / Getty Images
32. I am 100% convinced their face is trying to leave their body.

JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP via Getty Images
33. No ma'am.

Jamie Squire / Getty Images
34. Absolutely not.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
35. And really, I have NO IDEA how someone could be that flexible.

Sarah Stier / Getty Images
36. I can barely touch my toes (I just checked, I can't), and she's doing this on a single ice skate.

JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP via Getty Images
37. I have never seen anyone look so elegant with a blade four inches from their face.

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images
38. I have so many questions, starting with: HOW? And ending with: WHY??????

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
39. This isn't even athletic anymore, it's just a straight-up dare.

Tim Clayton / Getty Images
40. I get dizzy standing up too fast from the couch, and then there's this...

Andreas Rentz / Getty Images
41. In conclusion, they are athletes. They are artists. They are clearly completely superhuman.

WANG ZHAO / AFP via Getty Images
42. The end.

JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP via Getty Images

Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.