What’s Your Poison: The Hangover

Our guest Elizabeth Lukin was my professional Big Sister and former partner at Essential, who went on to be the first women ever to run the AFL’s corporate communications. Long time sports commentator, ABC overnights host and St Kilda match day official Francis Leach also joined for the final quarter.

If you listen to the show you’ll get a sense of how deeply invested in this I am and its fair to day the ensuing discussion challenged me to look at where my own anger about the affair was coming from. The following should be read with all the caveats: this is all alleged at present; the first priority must be the experience of the women involved; that everyone should have the right to due process.

But as a long-term and committed fan (although not a club member as I snagged SCG membership in the early 2000s) I want to share ‘my truth’.

I’ve been a committed Swan fan for 30 years since my team, the North Sydney Bears became collateral damage in the Super League Wars. I actually wrote a book about it ‘The Convert: A Fan’s Journey from League to AFL’ which captures the throes of first love with a new game and a new club from a fan on the rebound. to be fair its not a great book and if I had done the work I am convinced I would be Australia’s Nick Hornby and not someone, who as Liz points out, is experience his ‘mano-pause’ by podcasting.

Whatever. From the moment I started supporting the club in1996 it’s been a great experience, the team has always been competitive and earned the reputation of playing above themselves, ‘The Bloods’ culture of their South Melbourne origin story and a clearly articulated ‘no dickheads’ policy providing the cultural fibre that meant they never surrendered and often got on top of more talented teams.

I was there at the MCG in 2005 with Liz when Leaping Leo Barry soared to pluck the Swans first premiership in 72 years. I cheered while drinking Guinness in a London bar when we out-willed the Hawks in 2012. But it wasn’t just the flags, it was the sense that we were always the good guys; the one’s who backed our multiple Brownlow medallist and future Australian of the Year Adam Goodes in when the AFL world looked past the booing.

The AFL has done a remarkable job in Sydney; both my kids played, my daughter still does at uni; a lot of the Swans squad (including some of those now suspended) were local kids bought through their academy system.

And we are still incredibly competitive, although the last two Grand Finals (2022 and 2024) we have been belted off park suggesting a soft underbelly at odds with the Bloods mythology. This season we’ve smashed all the sides below us and been out-muscled by those who are in the mix for the flag. Despite being in outright second on the table I’ve actually been dreading another ground final appearance, because I suspected another 10-goal drubbing if we managed to get there,

So this is what happened last Sunday afternoon. The Swans narrowly beat the wooden spooners at the MCG ; to celebrate some players got on the piss and stayed out till all hours – ALLEGEDLY drugs, ALLEGEDLY strippers, ALLEGEDLY something went horribly wrong. But regardless of what did or did not go wrong legally, it was already horribly wrong because the start players in a serious team with a strong cultural core is not doing anything like this two weeks out from finals.

And I’ve been a massive Isaac Heeney fan (who is one of the players stood down at the centres of the ALLEGATIONS); a remarkable generational player who is close to the best in the AFL. But it’s been common chatter in the Swans fan forums that he’s embraced the alt male social media universe; and I’ve been jokingly calling him ‘MAGA’ all year, something that seemed funny but now feels like a sick joke. There’s also been lots of talk on the Reddit threads (which have been managed incredibly well by community volunteers) about the use of drugs within the club. Brandon Jack’s book on his experience as fringe player also lays this out in plain sight.

All of which is to say that it’s hard to accept this is a one off because you never get sprung on the first infringement. You get to this sort of ALLEGED place by degrees. Regardless of the legality of the ALLEGED incident – three of the leaders – all ready to be announced as All-Australians crossed some pretty significant lines. And the club has come down on hard them hard as they should – I would be surprised if any of them play in the red and white again, indeed maybe they should all be exiled to Tasmania.

But I also wonder if they are symptom not the disease – that this was not a ‘black swan’ event, but part of this club’s culture charade that has been myth rather than real. And that’s why this is so damaging for the club – fans and sponsors invest so much money, time and emotion into our team. And maybe I’m being harsh but right now I don’t give a rat’s about the rest of the season. Or to be honest footy in general. And while Rugby league is just as flawed, my old club the Bears are finally coming back into the NRL via Perth after three decades exile.

So clearly that’s a lot of feels, but what was so interesting was the reactions of the others on the pod, who in the finest What’s Your Poison traditions did not simply nod, but pushed back in the most respectful and incisive ways:

• Liz really pushed back on the depth of my outrage, challenging me not to see the perpetrators as monsters but reflective of the world that has been created around them.

• Francis challenged me to recognise that clubs are the property of fans, not the players who move through.

• Dame who could care less at sport, provided valuable distance in helping me recognising, that within the context of sport and politics the club has taken a pretty-principled position in rubbing these players out for the year.

And yet, re-listening to the recording, I can’t help thinking that I’ve been embracing a convenient lie all these years and that this is the heart of Faustian Pact between fans and professional sport. We invest our time, energy and money in return for a curated experience which is by its nature cannot be predetermined. We embrace the reality because it allows us to find a point we can connect with others around , the notion of shared love in a time of atomisation. In return we agree it’s best not to look below the surface to those we proffer this unconditional love. Until we are forced to look and, seeing the reality, we confront our own complicity.