That's a Really Great Beginning...

That’s a Really Great Beginning!

But What Happens Now?

Last night I got a text message from a young woman, 19 years old, that I pray for on a very regular, basically daily basis. Her boyfriend proposed to her last night. She included a picture with the text, and it was the ring on her finger. Engagements are exciting, but they are only the beginning of a much longer journey.

Today after church, Debi and I went out to lunch with two very precious couples both of whom have been married for over 50 years.

Last night Debi and I watched a movie. I am not going to tell you the name of the movie. But I will say that it is rated PG, and it reminds me of how the standards for how movies are rated has really slipped.

This movie is a love story. In this movie, there is a really messed up guy. He is messed up by his own poor choices and immaturity and lack of moral character. He meets a really messed up girl. The girl is messed up because she was raised by a really messed up mother. They meet at a mental hospital. There were several times when I almost bailed on the movie for several different reasons. The whole time I am watching the movie, I am really doubting that the movie can be redeemed just because the two messed up people fall in love!

I can tell you that by the end of the movie I was not fully won over, but they did take care of a few of my reservations, and while most of the time it looked like there was no way it wasn’t going to end very badly, it did end up at a modestly believable place where the couple was going to get a fresh start. Love is a wonderful thing, but the conclusion of the movie was that two messed up people had fallen in love and were going to get a fresh start. They were still two messed up people.

I like to watch Hallmark movies. I make Debi watch them with me. Most of the time she happily obliges me. She does draw the line at watching them for a second time. I much prefer Hallmark movies over the PG movie we watched last night. Usually, the people are much more stable, and you can feel a bit more hopeful for how things are going to work out. Yet still, I do get frustrated at how much attention is given to the journey of falling love, and how little attention is given to living it out and making it work. We need more examples of people living out their love and making it work!!! Yet that might get a little mundane and repetitive. It might not have the short-term emotional catch as watching two people “fall” in love. But let me say again, it would sure be great if we could see more movies and more examples of people living it out and making it work.

I struggled to be “all in” for the movie that we watched last night. Yet, I am pretty sure if they made a second movie that showed how the couple fared after their new beginning that I would most certainly want to watch it. There was a lot that was going to have to change in both of their lives for them to have a chance at making it. His and their relationship to his family was probably going to be pretty important for whether they were able to make it or not. While his father had provided some finances to help them get to their fresh start, it was definitely not clear where things stood emotionally between him and his father. The young woman was most certainly going to need the love and support of the young man’s mother if she was going to make it. Her mother had died and after her mother’s death she was admitted into the mental hospital. She had no clues about healthy family relationships.

There were moments when I was very intrigued with this movie, and as I said, there were several moments where I was close to letting go. While the ending was sweet and somewhat believable, it seemed fairly obvious that their chances for making it seemed pretty slim

I wish that I had counted how many weddings I have done over my 40-plus years of ministry. I would honestly struggle to even venture a guess, but let me throw out that it would probably be around 250, more or less. I always looked at it like launching the couple out into a great adventure. Some are going to make it and sadly, some have not. It is interesting to consider that some of the ones who didn’t make are some of the ones that I thought had the best chance to make it. All of the events of the past 24 hours - the engagement, the movie, the lunch with two couples who have been married over 50 years – have me praying all the more fervently for marriages and for families! Help us, Jesus!