Documentation of descent into madness
Graph of Machine Learning Graph of Humans Relative efficiency: A circularly defined term, but includes any improvement (discrete or abstract) of power consumption, data compression, training time, benchmarks, ad infinitum Complexity: As a theoretical concept only, unfortunately Machine Learning: Generalizable to any machine learning approach. ‘Data’ in, ‘Predictions’ out. Humans: Me, for example.
The ‘month of marching’ is now behind me and whatever I may not have improved with regard to velocity, I have done so with intentionality. The brevity of these physical endeavors was a highlight, it’s surprising fatigue might be its lasting exception. I might claim I feel improved balance, or generously ‘lighter’ on my feet throughout my daily activities, although it may be compensatory from the…
As I had hoped - and perhaps placebo’ed into existence - by my third week of daily (<=) hour-long stretching, I did actually begin to feel more limber. Not upon waking however, only upon a taste of the hour my body grew accustomed to. So, within 10 minutes or so I would feel the benefit of what usually took an hour. I’ve gleaned that my stiff areas are stiff for obvious reasons that only a…
Although I don’t wish to commit to themes, and I refuse to acknowledge this being a continuation of last month (continuation in that these are both physical-oriented goals. But this month, my commitment is to march like a madman. For what has likely been ashamedly too long, I have not taken off in a full sprint for any significant distance (here I am saying more than just a few feet; not a quick…
Technically, this is overdue notice since February is more than underway but thankfully my interal productivity czar is too indulgent in its macromanagement fury to notice such details. But this monthly ‘challenge’ if I dare to label such a thing: SMoML: Stretchiest Month of My Life (Limber-est and Flexble-est were runners up, but far behind) - Each day I intend to spend at least 1 hour…
Most wreckage left behind in Life’s battleground is contained within the fleshy walls of its ‘Player 1’ . Unknown to this ‘Game’ of Life and to each new player that spawns is an inner world ripe for cultivation and an outer world afflicted with varying degrees of chaos. The conflicts between these outer and inner worlds colliding is obscured from plain sight but obvious in its in manifestations.…
“Is objectivity real?” Well, no. BUT , this doesn’t not mean that ‘reality’ itself is not real either or that accurary, preferentiality, or empiricism also do not exist. Simply that they are tighter approximations of an objective ideal that philosophizing alone cannot outdo. But the objective ideal is just that: an ideal . Not reality, or even an accessible plane. Much like Plato’s world of math,…
AA: Good morning! Glad you’re finally awake. Listen, this is very important… Huh? Relax dude, I just woke up. Why are you bombarding me with this right now? AA: Sorry, but not sorry. There is an important {$injustice_of_the_day} that you need to be informed of. {$group_1} is undergoing an unprecedented {$injustice_type} (ex: social, moral, economic, psychological) battle and {group_2} must be…
[Rhetorical hypothetical introduction:] The door opens to my inner mind and I am greeted with an person with two heads… err… Two distinct people? Two halves of the same person? Not sure. One looked up at me with eyes of pure wonder, like I was the first thing they had ever seen. Their eyes almost shined like two bright beacons scanning the world for boundless beauty. This (half) of a person…
Technically a little over a week but I’ve finished the month having successfully written one ‘item’ a day. The quality of any given item varied from unusable to promising, but the goal was unperturbed production and that has taken place. The titles of these works as they may so generously be called follow: 09/22/25: The Two Types of Jesus-People 09/23/25: Male Biking 09/24/25: This, That, or Those…
A tumultuous week in terms of inspiration. Not ideal but certainly not _un_expected. Trying ( not ) to think about conversion rates to full jokes, but from this moment I’d say 40%. Probably should be 20% per the Pareto Principle but need to think in terms of a lower activation energy to put pen to paper. Here is week three: 09/15/25: Rich pedophiles (bonus: Disney Adults ) 09/16/25: Society on…
Another week of sticking to it. Expending considerable effort to ignore my barriers of quality and allowing for the baby and bath water to stay. Curation comes later, curation comes later, curation comes later… 09/08/2025: Impressions (bonus: Shame ) 09/09/2025: Pointless Politics - Part 1 09/10/2025: Sixth Sense 09/11/2025: Abortion: Problem Solved 09/12/2025: Itchy Balls (bonus: Walmart &…
Ahh, the age old question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg ? Well, as stated in the question, the chicken comes first in the sentence so from that view: the chicken came first. Which one came first? Gross, not answering that. Jokes aside, if I get serious - and semantic - it depends on if you subscribe to Evolution … and what you consider to be a true chicken . If you do not believe in…
My physical body seems to refuse to cooperate with my mind. I am not sure the underlying conflict between the two and what role ‘I’ play in mediating it, if any. Regardless, as I refuse to enter and exit day after day empty-handed, I decided to assign this otherwise unspectacular month to be “The Funniest Month Of My Life” . Each day I will attempt to nurture a nucleus of a joke into an adolescent…
Within my conspiratorial depths I find that I - among others who are deemed as particularly capable in the realm of society - am demanded to embrace becoming an empty vessel of ambition. To wholly adhere to a task at hand and commit to carrying out its’ means and ends. The fortunate among these selected are assigned to task with considerable intellectual or philosophical merit and one could argue…
Metaphysics of the mind remind me of the God’s proclivity toward irony. For what little say I myself had in my own creation, it is only fitting what little more say I have in carrying out my ambitions… which… I could hardly call my own, right? It’s almost with each passing folly, the divine chuckle intensifies while ambition and spite doubles. As if the ‘creation’ could outwit the Creator !…
Art, independant of any attempts to define such a word, is undeniably a avenue in which us humans communicate our life experiences. The medium varies wildly and there is no authority on modality, extremity, duration, or instance in which something can or cannot be considered a work of art. Popularity exists, sure, but it by no means measures anything meaningful in the absolute. However the artist…
A promised land founded by defiant offspring of global conquerers, who then conquered a homeland of their own that never once considered owned until it was stolen. A land to sell a dream; a Dream so tantalizing one may forget that they are sleeping. Only to wake and find foreigners on foreign land who never feel more at home. A homeland not founded by cynics, but by idealists who drove their…
Here in the _W_est, we are a culture that ironically celebritizes all things mediocre despite our gravest intentions to avoid ‘average’ : a word that borders on a slur for some of the more ‘success’-oriented people out there. I pity those souls on many levels including their animosity toward the mean, in all its inevitable ubiquity - due of course to the very nature of statistics. Despite any…
Convenience kills. We are surrounded by possibilities, pathologies, and pills that are perilous to us by way of pure convenience . As if mere difficulty were what killed the dinosaurs and all our predecessors. In our manic pursuit of efficiency, we’ve isolated folly variables: speed, ease, compatibility - merely just proxies for their true telelogy, the nature of which we conveniently trivialize.…
A non-inherent but probable and verifiable extension of increased possibilities are diminished probabilities . An increase in aggregate number necessarily dilutes likelihood of any given outcome. This is not a mathematical thesis I am proposing as this logic is flawed, but a societal one, where the flaws are mended by intuition. In a modernity where everything and anything is possible, achievement…
The notion of one’s character feels a little too scholastic for me; a bit of a contrived ‘armchair analysis’ of a person who is hardly accurately described in terms of vague words like ‘brave’ , ‘determined’ , or the worst: ‘hard-working’ . As if these words are of any meaning in an of themselves about someone who may only exhibit said qualities under very curated cirumstances. However, I do feel…
[$var] is a data point, ‘fact’, ‘statistic’, ‘soundbite’, or any ‘piece of knowledge’ Is [$var] true? How much so? At this point, a better question to first ask might be: Do I care? Should I? Not only do we collectively fail to determine the nature of ‘falsehood’ or nuance of what ‘truth’ is, we also fail to integrate acquired knowledge into wisdom - or what is easier said by what may behoove us,…
The notion of better is troubling to me, philosophically. A state, object, or direction deemed better or worse should rarely be at the hands of anyone other than oneself. A company is geared for a better tomorrow, a better world. Is being happy better than being sad? Surely not always, as times and settings are rarely equivocal when it comes to somber versus gleeful attitudes. Is being fully…
Someone told me one that life, when abstracted over a single lifetime, is just the lines connecting the dots of the big days : births, graduations, deaths, marriages, accidents, meetings, move-ins, move-outs, etc. No doubt this is helpful. And maybe that chronology might be what comes naturally when articulating one’s life. But I would say that just as prevalent as the big days are the little…
“But it’s progress! We are moving forward! $var is better !” I’ve been no ally toward A-button mashers(read: Accelerationists) who cling to notions of progress and refuse to address adequate nuance of what’s “better” , as if defining that alone weren’t a monumental philsophical task. Consider the folowing: “Abundance is greater than scarcity” Well, abundance of what? And in what context? Abundance…
I’m not sure if this will sound like me… I don’t know who you think I am. But I have grown tiresome of all things ‘new’ : New cars, new phones, new foods, new “ways to connect”, they are (mostly) all crap now. New cars are full of spyware, confusing and unnecessary controls, comforts that no one asked for or needs, not to mention a price tag that warrants a different echelon of new but delivers…
Philosophy is unique to me, as it seems to be the only field where as you question it, you just fall deeper into its midst. If you question, religion, government or even science, it pushes you out and moves you away. But philosophy drags you in. It’s almost like the black hole of all subjects. Questions all get dragged to philosophical ends. If you don’t question, you won’t enter… I see philosophy…
It’s strange. Power (in the most customary use of the word: that is external, social, political, or otherwise influencial ) has a strong, seemingly perverse relationship with fear. One might assume that as one becomes more powerful they have less to fear as they have succeeded in conquering new ground. But perhaps it is the acknowledgement of the fundamental limitation of a human’s true power that…
While I detest any notion of perfection , in any pragmatic sense, I am enamored by the proximity in which we exist relative to all kind of perfect . We craft notions of perfection and seem to know just how far they are away. Only then to place them just out of arms reach. Theoretically attainable, but practically impossible. Even our minds as they dance around our bodies and the world, seem to…
Unlike many other ‘intellectual’ disciplines where layers upon layers of axoims are considered compulsory pre-requisite knowledge, Metaphysics is one that I think requires no such barrier to entry, at least much less of such. Those with any propensity to de-throne formal systems can enter into the arena with equally valid footing - almost as if the arena were made of quicksand… In the depths of…
Get back on that fucking horse! I don’t know or care what oasis you thought you saw, but your chariot awaits and is growing impatient. I consider myself to be a deeply lazy person. Now whether or not that is true all depends on your conception of ‘hard work’ (or ‘ work ’ at all, really), and its relationship to time; also referred to as the ever elusive “ productivity ”. I define productivity as a…
When we consider the mathematician or even the physicist we entertain their headspace of thinking only in Platonic terms, or as I like to think of: Plato’s World . We live in an often unfamiliar world ourselves with Play-Doh, but that is not what I am deliberating here. Plato’s world is a world of mathematical perfection. One where a flat surface is indeed a perfectly flat surface, not one that…
Nothing will ever be the same ever again. Our brain was once simple matter, now capable of abstracting a mind from that inert mass. An idea of life conceived and justified only by itself. And true it is, to itself. Until it turns back to inert soil from which it once sprouted. Death and life are no grander than each other, merely abstractions on the same continuum of change that defines all. The…
What are the best, or even just minially effective time horizons for setting and achieving goals? Obviously depends on the nature of goals and scoping, but I’ve noticed some paradoxical trends… Seconds go by way too fast, but minutes can be counted and rationed… up to about an hour before hours and hours go by without contest. Days can be too chaotic, unpredictable circumstances can occupy a day…
I avoid using the word perfect, for one because it is overused by those who have given the gravity of perfection too lenient a definition. Second, because I struggle myself to not nullify the existence of any perfect in the first place. If it is mean to without flaw, does that include the possibility of a flaw? Or a flaw in some slightly varied context? Can a ‘flaw’ include just a preference?…
Living in a world beyond our ancestors reckoning, are we living in their wildest dreams or worst of nightmares? Has the flame of their campfire gone out too soon leaving them in a cold, feverish state or did the flame engulf them in their slumber and our moment in time the inferno of all nine circles at once. Our culture of anti-balance should leave questions as to why more are not mal-adjusted to…
I’m exiting my usual [philosophical|existential|annoying] tone to utilize this blog in a different, perhaps more practical manner than I usually do: Put forth a personal project of mine as something I am currently working on in order to keep myself accountable. I am currently building a second computer that will function as a server. Most would call this a home server but I own no property so this…
If one begins with the terminal introspective question: Who am I? One might naturally ask questions that doing point toward action, but instead are preceeded by actions, by doing : What do you do everyday? What about over any period of time? How do you act everyday? What do you look like? What do you think about? What do you (not) enjoy? These might appear trite interview-style questions, but…
Please don’t mistake the length of this post to me giving any fucks unrelated, but hilariously quotable video . I don’t. To defend said length though, I’ll say that media, journalism, advertising to an extent, $related-words, are encompassing of much, much more I don’t explicity mention: culture, technology, religion. In a hope to avoid cutting carrtots with the broad side of a spoon, my…
“The point of life is itself” “One should love life more than the meaning of it” These quotable motifs quell not the insatiable Socratic dialogue that is internal to me, many others too I imagine. So then one is left to shift its engine elsewhere, but how then to achieve this ideal state of curious but contented amnesia and not be called a madman? As I’ve said before: The power of the human mind…
Is contented-ness at odds with ambition? Which is virtue; which is vice? Surely neither. These don’t exist in some vacuum entirely disjoint from one another. But to the extent that they occupy the same angle, which they certainly do, it follows that too is the extent that they are compl e mentary. Being truly content with an entity or position implies no need for more/better, and perhaps fleeting…
Social, health, ethnic, racial, economic [ad infinitum, nay nauseam!] inequality may be the all rage. The differences between humans and their circumstances have never been so well-known and deliberated, despite how alike we ultimately are. But a growing disparity dwarfs these concerns, however justified and real they may be - and not to dismiss their importance. The underdevelopment of our…
I believe it was Huxley who first coined (or perhaps popularized) the term “Perennial Philosophy” , or the existence of an ‘underlying’ philosophy beneath the philosophies of relgions or quasi-religious idealogies. I might personally reject a practical notion that a ‘social’ perennial philosophy exists; alternatively stated as a philosophy that adequately captures all others to all likings,…
Cryptography: Yours truly’s Best secrets keep Everyone’s Reality checks Personal hell giving Unknown - None know Knowledge but themselves [As written] Cyberpunk Cryptography: everyone’s unknown Yours truly’s reality checks, none know Best secrets, keep personal hell giving knowledge but themselves Still stupid, but maybe making more sense…?
I figured it out! How to be [happy|motivated|stronger|wealthier| some ‘better’ ]! I’ve reduced nuance to a mere variable within a predictable formulation. My discovery, or invention rather, now moves this issue from the theoretical to just a matter of execution. Follow my lead and I’m sure you’ll never again be [unmotivated|unhappy| worse |…etc]. Failure to do so will mean you are too arrogant,…
Oh, the irony. I sit upon and regularly wade through my digital mountain of unfinished thoughts. Half tempted to let this one wither with them. Is this an issue of too much or too little quality control? Or a lapse of discipline to flush and complete the haikus that graze my consciousness? This doesn’t feel done either…
An intellectual machine. A ingenius, perhaps accidentally so, schema for turning fantasy into folk, then folk into fiction, finally fiction into non-fiction. A machine that turns man into manpower, cognition into cogs, and life into learnings. A machine that quantifies humanity into its computation and gives meaning to those who seek whats right only to be left behind in its wake. A train that…
I conjured up this strange poetic scheme, likely not wholly original but I am no poet so it’s new to me: We know which lies haunt us are tough choices those bad reasons existence creates you, know not why Creates ~4 poems, maybe more if you stretch English a bit or consider each stanza independently: “We are existence” “Know which tough choices create~~s~~ you” “Lies haunt us, those bad reasons…
While we may call the brain the mushy organ behind our eyes, I call the mind its own abstract manifestation and all its manifestations, however abstract. The mind’s greatest ability lies in the leverage it has on itself. It’s susceptibility, perhaps tendency, nay its necessity , to fool itself, or embrace delusions. I use the word delusion here purposefully. ‘Cognitive Dissonance’ sounds too…