The Masculinity of Quiet Strength

Men,

Below you’ll find a piece written by my sister, Beth Nelson. In it, she shows far more grace to me than I deserve. When my son was born, and as he lives, I want people to know the testimony his life is for the Lord. Little did I know my own actions and behavior were a testimony. I know I’m not always the man she makes me out to be in her very kind words, but my prayer is I’ll be remembered as such. It’s only by the grace of God any of us have a testimony. I more so wanted to share her piece, though, because she makes very important points, and those points hit different coming from a woman. Especially a woman who has every reason to hate men. But her grace through her own journey speaks volumes. I hope God blesses you through her thoughts.

Be faithful,

Alan

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127‬:‭3‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Last October, I had the most precious nephew born. He was full term but had the list stacked against him of reasons why he might not make it. I remember one night where we really thought he wasn’t going to survive until morning. He was in the NICU for over a month, lots of knees hit the floor, praying for strength and a miracle.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

I want to share a quality that my brother showed during that time, which I believe more men need to be praised for. As a single mom, I’ve learned to appreciate the role of honorable, Godly fathers so much more. More specifically, the weight they carry. Having to be both roles has taught me that men have so much on their shoulders and, honestly, I’m tired of hearing women complain and choose divorce for the most ridiculous reasons that they cloak in “feminism”. During what I’m sure was one of the hardest times in my brother’s life, he displayed a quiet strength that made me respect and admire him so much more. He got up every day, led his family, continued to show up at work, visited little Bear every chance he got, all the while showing a compassion and calm that I can’t even explain. Visiting my nephew the first time, not sure if there would be another, my brother showed no signs of breaking but kept his voice calm and steady. He was kind and even made jokes with one of the nurses caring for his son, who was hooked up to SO many different things. My brother taught me about all the things my little nephew was getting pumped into him to help him survive, and never once did I see him flinch. I wanted to break down and sob seeing little Bear hooked up to everything, but I remained strong because my brother was showing a strength that I can’t imagine, and it helped me stay present and not let my emotions take over.

My brother, Alan, wasn’t overcompensating for his pain. He wasn’t talking with an overly charismatic voice to mask his struggle or brokenness. He stayed steady and calm. He was allowing God to navigate the ship he and his family were on, no matter how hard the waves came crashing. He continued choosing to trust and put his son in the Father’s hand, regardless of what the outcome was going to be. Alan was mentally preparing to plan for a celebration of life ceremony because he knew that God’s plan for his son’s healing might mean that Bear would get to meet Jesus sooner than we would want.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

I’m so proud of my brother and the leadership, love, and quiet strength he showed during a time when nobody would blame him for breaking. I’m sure he had moments where he did or moments where he cried out to the Lord, BUT God is good! God’s strength, not little Bear’s, got him through, and he is thriving at 7 months old. God’s strength, not my brother’s, kept my brother’s heart steady and his wisdom intact when he and his family were dealing with brokenness.

“The words of the wise heard in quietness are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9‬:‭17‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Men, you’ve gotten the short end of the stick at times, and I’m sorry for that. You can’t be strong because you will be told you’re toxic. You can’t lead because you’ll be called chauvinistic. You can’t have quiet strength because you’re accused of shutting people out. God’s design for you is greater than the voice of the world.

Women, we can’t live without them! We need their quiet strength and their leadership! Take it from someone who has to do it all, God’s design for the family is better than following social media that tells you that you can do it alone. My situation is different, and I left biblically. However, the influencers who want to feed into you that men are toxic and that being submissive is sexist are ignoring God’s plan.

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭16‬:‭13‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Men of God trust in a higher plan; they carry their struggles quietly because they know the author of their family’s story, and they lead their families through the storm by helping calm those in the boat, no matter how hard it gets rocked.

If you are single, pray for a man like that. Looks and muscles fade, but a man whose desire is after the Lord will help lead you through the darkest days by helping you pursue the light. In turn, women, while you’re praying for him…allow God to lead you to be the kind of woman a man after Him will want to pursue.

“A good man will obtain favor from the Lord, But He will condemn a man who devises evil.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭10‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬