Decisions Create Our Destiny

It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful. It is only to the extent to which they are helpful that any degree of reality should be accorded to them in this world of illusion. - A Course in Miracles

The past 12 months or more of my life have been ones of great reflection and contemplation. So many of the early lessons in my life have come around again to help me in this contemplation. One very significant one is the “River Parable” from Richard Bach’s book “Illusions” which I read in 1979. It’s the story of river creatures who spend their lives fearfully clinging to rocks, terrified of the current - until one lets go, trusts the flow, and learns that the river lifts them free instead of destroying them.

In this year of reflection I’ve had the opportunity to look at my life and see how many things I misinterpreted at the time and how it all unfolded so amazingly as I learned how to let go more and more. Letting go is the extreme opposite of what most of us have been taught by the world. We’re usually taught that a good life is one of acquisition and GETTING and HOLDING ONTO WHAT WE GET. But the life of Spirit is one paradox after another. I call it “Opposite World.” In the image below, what I mean by “the more you’ll have” is the more joy, peace, fun and sanity.

In 2006, I had a very huge “let go” when I DECIDED that I was going to DO whatever it took to be happy. I let go of the way I’d been living for the previous 20 years and moved to a tiny efficiency apartment in West Hollywood. I stopped doing anything that did not bring me JOY. I thought it was going to be the end of something, which it was, but it was only the beginning of something so much better.

Though these 20 years since then have been full of great challenges and seeming loss after loss, I now understand that every seeming loss was also a gain. Every ending created space for something new. For a long time all I focused on were the losses - the people who passed over, the endings of relationships, all the favorite places I used to go that didn’t exist anymore, youth gone, and all the ego interpretations of life in the physical.

Now, with some distance and time, I see these 20 years have been the happiest times of my life - the most peaceful and joyous and centered in Truth. Much of what I called “loss” at the time were concepts and beliefs that were only weighing me down and holding me back. I had to let go of “hope” in exchange for Truth. And though 2026 has had its own challenges and issues, this has been the most wonderful year of my life so far. I feel complete and happy with all that I’ve accomplished in this lifetime. But it took a lot of letting go of old limiting beliefs and concepts to get here.

I am only speaking for myself here. I’m not trying to speak for you or anyone else. This is my own experience and understanding which I am simply sharing for anyone who may find it helpful. I’ve given up the role of “teacher” and am simply a brother sharing my own experience and what I’ve learned with those who want it and are willing to find out for themselves.

It all starts with a decision. Decisions program the Cosmic GPS and soon enough the highlighted route begins to light up - often in subtle ways that don’t necessarily look all that “spiritual.” For me, it was my DECISION to be happy and to stop making myself UNHAPPY. And now 20 years later, my life looks NOTHING like I THOUGHT “happy” would look like and yet I’m happier than ever. What I had to let of there is judging according to appearances and caring what anyone else thinks or says about me and my life.

As Byron Katie says, “If I had a prayer it would be, God spare me from the desire to seek love, approval or appreciation. Amen.”

much love,
brother jacob