Leaving a Healthy Family Legacy

Welcome to my legacy collaborative post this week with Robert Cale! It is an important topic that is near and dear to both of our hearts. We pray it becomes near and dear to yours.

I. Introduction: Legacy Is Always Being Left

Brooke:

Our culture defines success with temporal things like fame and fortune. But for me, success is seeing my entire family, children and grandchildren, each having a personal, growing relationship with the Lord, loving God and serving Him. I am earnestly trusting God and praying for these things for my dear family. And when that happens, that will be my legacy.

But what is legacy and what is my part in that now, the day to day?

A legacy is not about leaving an inheritance to your family. It is about sharing our wisdom and experiences about God, living a godly life, and sharing His love with others.

You know, children can tell when you are being real with them. They are smart that way. They know if you are not being the Sunday Christian you claim to be on any given Wednesday. They can sniff out authenticity a mile away. So knowing that, parents and grandparents, you want to get this right. The souls of our children, that God has lovingly entrusted in our care, are at stake.

That is why it is important for our lives, our legacy, to make a difference. But how exactly?

It starts when our children are little.

Saying prayers before meals and bedtimes, reading and telling Bible stories, answering honestly and age appropriately the myriad of questions they are sure to ask. It is taking them to church, showing them how you need God in your life, apologizing to them when you mess up as a parent, and modeling a loving mother and father. This relationship helps build connection and prayerfully bridges their own relationship with the Lord.

As they get older, family mealtimes and Bible reading times may be more difficult as peers and activities become more prevalent. But do not give up walking and talking together about the Lord. Continue being intentional. Psalm 90:12 tells us, “Teach us to number our days.”

Make the most out of every opportunity.

What does that practically look like?

Riding in the car is the perfect time to make use of an opportunity. If you can, ask your children or teenager to put their phone down or consider holding off on giving them a phone altogether. Doing a shared activity, working around the house, washing the car, cooking a meal, or joining in on a driveway basketball game creates space to spend time together. These moments open doors for conversations about God, or simply asking how they are doing. Better yet, pray ahead of time that God would give you opportunities to connect so your child or teenager feels comfortable opening up about their joys and frustrations, struggles and challenges, fears and hopes.

Robert:

As a father of four and a grandfather to soon be six, I have come to realize that legacy is never neutral. Every family is passing something forward, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Psalm 78:1-7 makes this clear. God commands His people to tell the coming generation of His glorious deeds and mighty works so that they would set their hope in God. Silence is never neutral. Absence is never harmless. What we choose to speak, live, and prioritize will shape those who come after us.

I write this not as someone who did everything right, but as someone who knows what it is like to squander opportunities. For most of my children’s lives, I was an unbeliever. I missed moments I can never get back. Part of leaving a healthy family legacy for me has meant walking out repentance in front of my children, asking for forgiveness, and showing them that failure is not fatal. My past does not define me. When Christ saved me, I was no longer in my past. I am in Christ, and that truth is now part of the legacy I seek to pass on.

Scripture consistently treats legacy as spiritual and relational, not merely material. One generation is called to speak, live, and testify so the next generation might know the Lord. Faith is passed through relationships, through presence, through ordinary and inconvenient moments that God uses in extraordinary ways. That is why Ephesians 5:15-16 urges us to walk carefully, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.

This article exists to hold up a biblical vision for family legacy. It is written for fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, grandparents and those still learning what faithfulness looks like in real life. Our aim is not perfection, but intentional faithfulness. By God’s grace, may our lives point the next generation to set their hope in Him and not forget His works.

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II. God’s Design for Generational Faith

Brooke:

We choose to believe that God loves our children more than we do. Because He does!

We continue to demonstrate our love and acceptance to them as well, keeping communication going and always being willing to help and support them, demonstrating God’s love. Even when they say things that contradict what we believe, even when they send a hurtful text, even when they do not quite have the maturity. We keep loving our kids because we remember that God loved us when we were in our “even when” stage of our own lives.

As parents, try to be available even when it is inconvenient. Let me say that again, be available and approachable. Do you roll your eyes when they come into your room at 10 p.m. to tell you something? Do you brush them aside when you are trying to get something done? Do you put down the phone and look them in the eye when they show up in tears or with another algebra question? Invariably, your children are going to come to you when you are tired, busy, or doing an activity you would rather not stop. Show them your love by giving them your full attention, without resentment.

Friends, these are the moments that matter. How you respond to your children in these seemingly insignificant moments in life now is ultimately teaching them how God will respond to them in the future.

Do we want them to picture a hurried God, a God who ignores, or a God who is inconvenienced by them? Of course not. We want them to see a loving God, a God who gently bends down to get on their eye level, embraces them, and hears every single word they say. Then we would be wise to model that kind of love and receptive behavior while they are growing up too. That is legacy building!

And what about our adult children who do not know the Lord?

We continue to pray for them too. We pray that God would soften their hearts and open their minds to His calling, that the Holy Spirit would convict them of their sins, and that they would return to God or come to Jesus for the first time. We pray that God would bring godly and spiritually strong men and women across their paths in their jobs or activities who would speak truth and life into our grown children. And then we trust. We trust the Holy Spirit to do His work in their hearts and minds.

Robert:

Scripture makes it clear that faith is meant to be transmitted across generations. This is not a modern idea or a cultural preference. It is God’s design. Deuteronomy 6:1-9 commands God’s people to teach His words diligently to their children, speaking of Him in the rhythms of daily life. Joel 1:3 calls one generation to tell the next what God has done, and then to expect that story to continue beyond them. Psalm 145:4 declares that one generation shall commend God’s works to another and shall declare His mighty acts.

This means legacy is not passive. Scripture assumes that parents and grandparents will actively teach. Silence is not faithfulness. Waiting for children to figure it out on their own is not biblical discipleship. God has entrusted us with the privilege and responsibility of speaking, modeling, and testifying to His faithfulness.

I say this as someone who did not do this well for many years. For much of my children’s lives, I did not speak of God because I did not know Him. When Christ saved me, part of my obedience became telling the truth about both my failures and God’s mercy. I have learned that God’s acts must be remembered and retold, not only the victories, but also the repentance, the forgiveness, and the grace that followed.

Legacy is formed through teaching, modeling, and testimony. Children learn faith not only from what we say, but from how we live. They watch how we respond under pressure, how we repent when we sin, how we trust God when outcomes are uncertain. Faith is strengthened through lived example.

When our children and grandchildren hear us speak of God’s faithfulness, see us depend on Him, and watch us walk humbly before Him, they are being given a framework for their own faith. This is how God has designed generational faith to work. Not through perfection, but through presence. Not through control, but through faithful witness.

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III. The Role of the Father: Spiritual Leadership in the Home

Written by Robert, with support from Brooke

Robert:

I write as a father who now takes seriously the call to be strategic and intentional in leading my children. I no longer wait for moments to happen. I seek to create them. I look for opportunities to love my children well, to speak truth clearly, and to show them Christ through my words, my actions, and my repentance.

Scripture makes clear that fathers are called to lead spiritually with presence and intentionality. This leadership does not begin with authority, but with responsibility. Psalm 78:5-7 tells us that God established His testimony so that fathers would make His works known to their children, so that the next generation would set their hope in God and not forget His works. Fathers are entrusted with this responsibility because God intends faith to be learned close to home.

Deuteronomy 6:1-9 places spiritual leadership squarely in the everyday rhythms of life. Fathers are commanded to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and strength, and to impress His words on their children. This happens while sitting at home, walking along the way, lying down, and getting up. Faith is not merely taught in structured moments. It is caught through lived consistency.

Children learn priorities by observing their father’s life. They watch what we love, what we pursue, what we repent of, and what we depend on. Ephesians 6:4 calls fathers to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, not through harshness or disengagement, but through patient, purposeful involvement.

Teaching faith also happens in everyday and inconvenient moments. Late night conversations, difficult questions, moments of conflict, and seasons of hardship often carry the greatest weight. When fathers speak God’s truth in those moments, children learn that faith is not theoretical. It is functional.

Spiritual leadership also includes modeling repentance and dependence on God. Humility matters. When children see their father acknowledge sin, seek forgiveness, and trust God in difficulty, they learn that grace is real and that obedience flows from relationship, not perfection. Fathers teach faith by showing reliance on God, especially when life is hard and outcomes are uncertain.

Leadership that is intentional, humble, and rooted in Scripture leaves a legacy that points children toward hope in God.

Brooke:

Our words say a lot, but our actions speak more.

Dads, I cannot implore you enough to be the spiritual leader of your home. Your kids need this more than almost anything. Your wife wants you to be in this role as well in your home. Don’t believe me? Go ask her. I bet she does!

Consider Joseph from Luke 2 as your example, dads. The Bible does not have any recorded words from Joseph, but he helped change the world. You see, fathers, you can transform the lives of your children by being present. Your presence matters.

Your children learn by watching how you live, your quiet commitment to them and their mother. Like Joseph, you can build relationships too. Your love and presence can transform generations. That is legacy.

Deuteronomy 6:5 to 7 reminds us that we are to love the Lord with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our strength. These commandments are to be on our hearts, and we are to impress them on our children and grandchildren.

How do we do that?

By talking about God when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down, and when we get up. That is talking about the Lord throughout the day with your children and grandchildren. Friends, that is leaving a legacy.

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IV. The Role of the Mother: Wisdom, Instruction, and Example

Written primarily by Brooke, with support from Robert

Brooke:

Our love for God will be evident in our conversations, our actions, our interactions, our interests, our choices, and our very lives. This is what our children and grandchildren will witness and see as evidence of our lives as we share it with them. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

As moms and grandmas, we need to speak with wisdom and faithful instruction, as Proverbs 31:26 tells us, leading and teaching the next generation to live godly lives. Pray for your dear children and precious grandchildren in front of them. Tell them about God’s faithfulness. Show them your hard days and how you handle difficult times with God’s help and mercy. When we rely on God’s strength, speak blessings and truth over our family, read our Bibles and read them to our children, we are giving them an example to live by. Again, this is legacy, sweet friends.

Ephesians 5:15-16 tells us clearly, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”

This is legacy. Making the most of our time with our children and grandchildren. Steering them in the right direction so that they can prayerfully make the decision to serve God themselves in God’s perfect timing. How we live and respond to them now may make that decision easier or harder for them. Jesus tells us not to hinder the little children from coming to Him.

Robert:

I want to affirm what Brooke has written here because it is deeply biblical and profoundly practical. Mothers shape the spiritual culture of the home through wisdom spoken consistently and love shown faithfully. Words offered with gentleness and truth form hearts over time.

Scripture reminds us that God’s divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him, who called us to His own glory and excellence (2 Peter 1:3). Mothers draw from that grace daily as they pray, teach, bless, and model faith in both joy and difficulty.

When mothers live their faith openly before their children, reading Scripture, praying honestly, and trusting God in hardship, children learn where true strength comes from. That quiet, steady example is one of the primary ways God forms lasting faith in the next generation.

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V. Marriage as the Core of Family Legacy

A. The Role of the Husband: Loving Leadership

Written by Robert

Marriage is the foundation upon which family legacy is built. Before children ever hear formal teaching about God, they watch how a husband loves his wife and how a wife responds to that love. Scripture speaks clearly here because marriage is designed to display the gospel in ordinary life.

Ephesians 5:25–33 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This love is not passive or sentimental. It is active, intentional, and sacrificial. A husband is called to love first, not waiting for conditions to be ideal. He is called to love most, placing his wife above every other human relationship. He is called to love always, not withdrawing when love is costly. And he is called to love sacrificially, willingly laying aside comfort, preference, and self-interest for his wife’s good.

This kind of love makes leadership safe. It communicates security rather than control. It tells a wife that she is cherished, protected, and prioritized. It also teaches children that love is not self-centered, but self-giving, reflecting Christ’s love for His people.

Scripture also helps us understand how leadership and submission function together. A husband is never commanded to take submission. Submission is not his to demand or extract. It is something a wife gives freely as an act of obedience to the Lord. When a wife gives her submission, she does so by recognizing her husband’s role as leader and choosing to follow his leadership when he is seeking to love and lead as Christ loves and leads.

Because of that, I want to speak briefly and clearly to wives as well. Biblical submission is not becoming a doormat or surrendering your voice. It is the willing support of a husband who is seeking to love and lead faithfully. Submission expresses itself through help, respect, influence, and honor. It looks like coming alongside your husband as a partner, strengthening what God has entrusted to him. It looks like respecting his role and encouraging his leadership. It looks like offering wisdom and perspective in ways that build rather than tear down. It looks like honoring him as a fellow heir of grace.

Ephesians 5:21 reminds us that this relationship is grounded in mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. Husband and wife are equally responsible before God to glorify Him, magnify Christ, engage in the sanctifying work of God through His Word and by the Holy Spirit, and edify one another as they walk in obedience.

When husbands love sacrificially and wives support wisely, marriage becomes a powerful witness. Children raised in that environment see unity rather than division. They see grace rather than competition. And they learn that God’s design for marriage is good, beautiful, and worthy of trust.

This is how marriage becomes the core of a healthy family legacy.

B. The Role of the Wife: Strength and Partnership

Written by Brooke

My husband and I are blessed to come from parents and grandparents who had and still have long marriages. We want to model that marital longevity for our children and grandchildren as well. As we head into our thirty-sixth year of marriage, life and our relationship grow even sweeter. You have more time together since the kids are gone. You get to see new sides of your spouse as a grandparent, and you realize time is treasured but fleeting.

All that work a woman intentionally puts into making her home a place of comfort, trust, and love is rewarded. It is now being visited by adult children who bring back the most adorable and precious little human beings you can imagine. They are called grandchildren for a reason, and my heart melts when I see them. They bring me joy. They make me laugh. And when they cry or get hurt, I feel it deeply as their Mimi.

It is precisely that kind of connection I want to be making with them so that when we have quiet moments together, taking a walk or playing with toys, I can point their big hearts and growing minds toward Jesus, building on the Christian legacy I so desperately want to leave them.

Having a marriage that is respectful and yielding, enjoying a loyal and kind relationship together, and one that supports each other firmly establishes the stability and unity needed in a home. That kind of marriage builds not only a lasting relationship, but an enduring legacy for our children and grandchildren.

They are watching us whether we realize it or not.

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VI. The Role of Grandparents: Extending Faith Beyond One Generation

A. The Role of the Grandmother: Testimony and Blessing

Written by Brooke

To leave a legacy, we tell the stories. We share about our hard times, our struggles, our failures, and our sufferings with our children and grandchildren, and we continue the stories by revealing God’s faithfulness, His provision, His comfort, and His never-ending love. This is how we pass on our faith. We tell the stories, and we live out our faith daily.

As a mom and Mimi, it is my privilege to model my faith through prayer. So much prayer goes up to my Lord Jesus for my children and grandchildren. I am praying for my grandchildren’s hearts to receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior so they do not have to go out into a world of sin. I am praying that God meets my adult children and their spouses right where they are in their relationship with Him. I am praying in my morning devotional time, throughout the day, and I am also thanking God for them when I pray. I ask them to share their prayer requests with me so I can know and pray for what matters to them. I let them know I am praying for them. I cannot implore you enough to pray for your children and your grandchildren. You might be the only one!

As grandparents, we do not often get the day-to-day opportunities with our grandchildren as we did when we were parents, but we can make the most of the opportunities given to us. We can be there when babysitting is needed, attend birthday parties, recitals, and sporting events, pray consistently for them, and share about Jesus and what God means in our lives and the difference He can make in theirs when we are together.

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B. The Role of the Grandfather: Endurance and Example

Written by Robert

As a grandfather, I have become increasingly aware that legacy is shaped not only by what we say, but by what we choose to remember and keep before us. In my Bible, on the pages where Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 are written, I have the inked footprints of my grandchildren. I placed them there as a reminder that these words are not abstract. They are tied to real lives, real souls, and real responsibility.

And because the Lord has blessed me with so many grandchildren, those footprints have now spilled beyond those pages. I have had to use the blank pages in the back of my Bible as well. What a blessing! Praise God! Every print is a reminder of His kindness and of the sacred trust He has given me as a grandfather.

I did not come up with that idea on my own. I learned it from another grandfather, a faithful man whose life showed me what it looks like to finish well. He left me a legacy not through a speech, but through example. Watching his steady faith, his love for Scripture, and his intentional investment in his grandchildren shaped my understanding of what a Christian grandfather can be.

Proverbs 13:22 tells us that a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children. That inheritance is more than material. It is wisdom gained through years of walking with God. It is perspective shaped by trials and faithfulness. It is the quiet endurance of a life that keeps trusting the Lord.

Psalm 145:4 reminds us that one generation shall commend God’s works to another. As grandfathers, we do this by staying faithful, by telling the truth about God’s goodness, and by showing that faith does not fade with age. A faithful finish encourages future generations. It tells them that God is worthy of trust for a lifetime.

When my grandchildren see their footprints next to God’s Word, I am reminded again and again that my role is to point them there. Legacy is not about being perfect. It is about being present, faithful, and anchored in the truth of who God is.

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VII. Time, Wisdom, and Kairos Moments

Written jointly by Brooke and Robert

Legacy Is Shaped by How Time Is Stewarded and by Recognizing God Appointed Moments

Brooke:

“Who made the birds?” I asked my three year old grandson.

“God,” he says. “That’s right,” I affirm.

“And who made the flowers?” I asked him.

“God,” he says more confidently. “Yes, He did,” I assure him.

“And who made you?” I asked him lastly.

“GOD,” he says enthusiastically, and I laugh and say, “He sure did.”

It is in the passing moments, out in the backyard, playing outside in God’s beautiful creation, that little conversations like this happen all the time when the grandchildren are here with me. God is woven into all parts of our day.

Legacy is spending time together, bringing up the Lord in our little chats and praying at lunch. It is kissing boo boos and reading books while they are sitting on my lap. It is reading a Bible story at lunchtime. It is giving them a blessing and singing “Jesus Loves Me” at naptime. It is a homemade cookie and tearing up while waving goodbye after a long day of play.

These little acts of attention over time, with love and affection, build a lifetime of Christian legacy.

Robert:

This past Christmas, my grandsons and I were reading a Bible storybook together that walked through selected Advent passages. As we read, they asked question after question. They repeated words from the stories, lingered over details, and wanted to know what everything meant. And every night, we prayed together at the end.

Their prayers for their father brought tears to my eyes more than once. These are boys who are learning early what the pain of divorce feels like. Their dad, at least right now, is not as present as he could be. And yet, those boys pray for him. I pray with them for him. Together, we have watched the Lord slowly begin to work in his life. We do not know what the outcome will be, but we know this. We trust the Lord.

Psalm 90:12 teaches us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom. These moments feel small, almost ordinary, but they are heavy with meaning. Ephesians 5:15 to 16 calls us to walk carefully and make the best use of the time because the days are evil. This is what that looks like in real life.

Some of my favorite words are when my grandsons look up at me and say, “Gunny, can we read the Bible tonight and pray to Jesus?” That matters. That is heartwarming. That brings tears. That is legacy.

Kairos moments often arrive quietly. They do not announce themselves. They look like a Bible story at bedtime, a prayer spoken simply, or a child repeating truth they are just beginning to understand. But God uses these small moments to do eternal work. When we steward time faithfully, God multiplies it far beyond what we can see.

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VIII. Conclusion: Faithful Living That Shapes Generations

Brooke:

Oh friends, I do not claim to have this legacy thing all figured out or a formula to follow. I am in process with you. I am trying, though, and thankfully God knows my heart, intentions, and motives.

I told Robert when we started this collaborative post that even though I agreed to it, I sometimes feel inadequate, even like an imposter. I fail and flounder at times in my spiritual walk. My husband and I argue sometimes. And my kids are not where I would like them to be in their spiritual walks with God yet either.

So what do I do when, as a mom, I feel like I can only be as happy as my saddest or spiritually lost child?

I lay it all out before my Lord Jesus, and I cling to God’s Word that lovingly reassures me:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

God and His Word always settle my soul.

They help me continue to walk with joy and love as I trust that God has this, loves our children more than we could ever comprehend, and is faithful to help us live lives that leave a Christian legacy.

I am learning and trusting with you, sweet friends.

Robert:

I want to echo Brooke’s heart here. If we are not intentionally teaching our children and grandchildren, the world will gladly do it for us. There is too much confusion, too much falsehood, and too much distortion of truth to leave this to chance. God has entrusted parents and grandparents with the responsibility of raising up the next generation to know who He is, to hear the gospel clearly, and to see the love of Christ lived out faithfully.

Like Brooke, I cry out to God for children who are not walking with Him. I have seen the Lord save one of my children in the midst of her hardest trial. Others know God and know the gospel, yet they are walking in the world. I trust what Scripture tells me, that God loves them more than I ever could. I entrust them into His hands. I ask Him to save, because only He can save.

Psalm 78:7 reminds us that the goal is that the next generation would set their hope in God and not forget His works. In 2 Peter 1:8 we are reminded that as we grow in Christ, our lives become fruitful and effective. Legacy is not built through control or perfection. It is built through faithful obedience, one decision at a time, by imperfect people who trust a perfect Savior.

Here is the truth that anchors us.

Legacies are not left accidentally. They are formed daily, shaped faithfully, and entrusted finally to God.

In closing, I want to sincerely thank Robert Cale for inviting me to be a part of this wonderful collaboration with him. We pray it blesses you and your family!

Until next time sweet friends,

Brooke

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