Recent content on Brenden's Blog
I like to stand right on the edge of the subway platform. I stand right atop the yellow tactile paving they install at the edge of the platform for blind people. I stand there, facing outward toward the trains, staring into the abyss. It’s my morning ritual now. And evening. And whenever I take the train.
Images are interesting because, in the digital world, it’s trivial to alter them, and yet we still tend to treat images—photographs, video—as a kind of proof. If you see a photograph in a news article, most people don’t really stop to ask whether the thing actually happened. The photograph is the thing, or at least it stands in for it. Light hit something, a camera was there, therefore this event…
If a “true” self exists at all, it probably only appears when no one is watching. The rest of the time, we’re adapting to context. At work, we perform the professional self. With friends, we’re relaxed, funny, interesting. With family, something else entirely. Online, where the audience is abstract and potentially infinite, we often project an idealized version of ourselves—the highlight reel.
What exactly does it mean to be present ? It’s a question I’ve written about before, yet here I am again—writing another version of it. Maybe that’s the point. Presence isn’t something you figure out once and move on from. It’s a practice, a remembering. It’s a tricky concept—hard to describe, slippery to pin down. Presence seems to have layers. So I keep ending up at the same place: noticing what…
I’ve been thinking about when I first fell in love with computers. It started early—somewhere around the third or fourth grade. Our first family computer was a 486, running some version of Windows and, more importantly, MS‑DOS. I remember typing random commands into that black screen, trying to make sense of it. I wasn’t very good at it, but it felt like magic.
Kindness and niceness aren’t the same thing. This may sound like I’m splitting hairs, but once you notice the difference it’s hard to unsee. I first bumped into this idea through the New York stereotype—how people who don’t live here love to say New Yorkers are rude. I don’t buy it. New Yorkers just have a different concept of what counts as rude.
It’s easy to be negative, cynical, and pessimistic. What’s incredibly admirable are those who manage to stay positive in difficult times. Everyone’s version of “difficult” is different, and what’s easy for some may be incredibly challenging for others. I think one reason we might go down the path of negative thinking is that we forget to put things into…
The sales pitch of various “social” websites is that they provide you with human connection in the form of “friends,” “followers,” and so forth. I definitely bought into this idea once upon a time, but I no longer buy into this narrative. A hardy begonia from the Brooklyn Botanic Garden—real, tangible, alive. No filters needed.
As a recovering perfectionist, I’ve been learning to embrace a radical idea: it’s better to do a bad job of something than to do nothing at all. The wisdom is everywhere—you miss every shot you don’t take, perfect is the enemy of good, done is better than perfect—but living it is another matter entirely.
I’ve always been wrapped up in the idea of my own identity. Lately, though, I’m trying to let that go. Identity is a curious thing. It’s tricky to define, yet most of us carry some concept of who we are, some internal story we tell ourselves. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend who’d spent time at an ashram in India. He went there to meditate, to simply…
As a child of the internet age, I have barely known a world without it. Although I grew up in a transitional time—computers were commonplace but the internet itself was far from ubiquitous in my childhood—I still find it difficult to imagine life without instant access to the boundless information, entertainment, and superficial connection we all get from the internet.
I, like most people, have a great appreciation for beauty in all its forms. When we see something beautiful, it can trigger an emotional response that transcends mere recognition—be it a sunset painting the sky in impossible colors, a face that catches our eye in a crowd, a landscape that makes us pause mid-stride, or a painting that captures that ineffable quality of light. We’re naturally…
At the yoga studio, many people come and go. Often, you encounter newcomers who treat their first yoga class like a HIIT workout. They rush through transitions, sometimes literally jumping between poses (āsanas). In their minds, yoga seems less like a deliberate flow and more like a race to the finish line. They might substitute five rapid pushups for a single, controlled chaturanga (often missing…
Every January gym attendance spikes by nearly 150%, yet by mid-February about 90% of those new faces have vanished. 1 Everyone wants the big reset. The part that actually does something is sticking around once it gets dull. Showing up regularly with “good enough” effort often outperforms sporadic bursts of perfectionism. I admire people who are consistent, dependable, and reliable. And…
There’s a TV show called Love on the Spectrum . It’s one of my favourite TV shows–for a number of reasons–but I think the reason I like it so much is that I really want to see everyone on the show succeed. And it feels really good when they do succeed, often bringing tears.
Economics is a strange beast. We treat it like a hard science, expecting precise predictions, but it often feels more like math stirred together with psychology, constantly trying to explain the past rather than foreseeing the future. If economists could reliably predict market crashes or booms, wouldn’t they all be relaxing on private islands by now?
When most people talk about success, they’re usually referring to the accumulation of money, power, or material possessions. A bigger house, a fancier car, an advanced degree from a prestigious university, a high-paying job with an impressive title. Maybe you’re so successful that you’ve retired from your day job and now you spend your time doing high-profile non-profit work,…
You’ve heard the phrase “less is more,” but have you ever considered its mischievous cousin: “more is worse”? It’s the same idea, just with a sharper edge. My favourite example? Restaurant menus. The worst restaurants always seem to have the most options. When I go out to eat, I want the chef to present their best dish—no decisions, no stress. The chef already…
There’s something wonderfully contradictory about seeking mindfulness in the middle of a bustling city. Most meditation guides conjure images of silent retreats or serene natural settings, but I’ve discovered that city streets can offer their own unique form of meditative practice—if you’re willing to approach them with the right mindset.
I have a deep appreciation for mastery. It takes an extraordinary amount of time and effort to become truly masterful at something. It doesn’t matter so much what that thing is, whether it’s a sport, a musical instrument, a language–spoken, written, or programming computers. In every case I’ve seen up close, it eats years of your life and asks for more.
Placebo Effect Studies : Meta-analyses have consistently shown placebo effects across various conditions, with neuroimaging confirming measurable physiological changes. A 2020 review in Annual Review of Clinical Psychology documented that placebos activate endorphin release and specific brain regions 1 . Stress and Disease : A 2018 meta-analysis in JAMA found chronic stress is associated with…
I was recently banned from Rover, a specialized craigslist website for finding pet sitters and dog walkers. They didn’t specify why exactly, though I know the walker claimed my dog bit her. I find this claim suspicious since my dogs have never bitten anyone before, certainly not hard enough to break skin, and her story contained several inconsistencies.
Yesterday, I took a walk to the Brooklyn Bridge, a notorious tourist trap but also a beautiful and marvelous feat of engineering. I wanted to photograph it (a cliché, I know) so I can make a print for someone as a gift. Hours passed in what felt like minutes. This experience, this immersion in creation for its own sake, is what makes me call myself an artist. So when a friend of mine–who reads…
I was sitting on the subway the other day and glanced up from my book to notice something that shouldn’t be remarkable, yet somehow was: every single person in my line of sight was staring at their phone. This wasn’t the first time I’d observed this phenomenon, but something about this particular moment struck me differently. Everyone had the same blank, thumb-scrolling look,…
I’ve been thinking a lot about boredom lately—specifically, how we’ve become so good at avoiding it. We reach for our phones at the slightest hint of downtime, filling every possible moment with scrolling, tapping, and consuming. It’s as if we’ve collectively decided that being alone with our thoughts is some kind of punishment to be avoided at all costs.
I like to write, and sometimes I like to write about writing. There’s a touch of irony here—similar to artists who teach because they can’t sustain themselves solely through their art. In my case, I’m neither successful enough to earn a living from my writing nor from teaching it, but I genuinely enjoy both activities nonetheless. Writing about it helps me see what I’m…
Looking back at my mistakes, I keep seeing the same thing: moments when my ego took over and pushed me off course. The abstract concept of “staying humble” sounds straightforward until we’re faced with real-world situations that challenge our self-image. Only when something valuable slips away do we fully grasp what humility might have preserved.
Sometimes we do things because we want to, sometimes we do things because we must. You might tackle that tedious spreadsheet at work not because you love Excel, but because it’s your responsibility. Or you might blast that 80s power ballad for the twentieth time simply because it brings you joy. Simple enough, right?
Although I have written about this idea before , I feel like it’s one worth elaborating on. We live in an age of instant gratification, which I think leaves us often feeling underwhelmed. In most cases, this disappointment is due to our expectations being too high. The conclusion I’ve come to is less glamorous: lower your expectations. You might hear that and think “why should I…
Last January, I found myself trudging through slush-filled streets, my fingers numb despite gloves, mentally calculating how many more weeks until spring. A bitter wind whipped between Manhattan’s buildings, creating urban wind tunnels that cut straight through my layers. I don’t love winter. It’s certainly my least favourite season. While I grew up in a relatively cold place…
A lot of effort goes into avoiding bad feelings. While uncomfortable emotions are generally unpleasant, avoiding them isn’t the whole job. Building resilience matters more—the ability to bounce back from difficult emotions and move through hard stretches with the same effectiveness as we do the good ones. The Resilience Deficit # Although speculative, there seems to be a societal shift away…
There’s a subreddit called r/amiugly where people post pictures of themselves and ask the community to rate their appearance. It’s a place where people seek validation, reassurance that they are beautiful, or at least not ugly. After spending time on this subreddit, I’ve noticed something striking: most people posting aren’t ugly at all. They’re generally…
When examining extraordinary success stories, we often find that behind many achievements lies a powerful combination of circumstances and opportunities. While talent and effort matter, research consistently shows that success frequently stems from two significant factors: advantageous starting conditions and luck. By “advantageous starting conditions,” I mean having access to…
Take a walk on any given day these days, and instead of staring at your phone, try looking around. If you want to do this on hard mode, leave the phone at home if you can manage. You’ll probably notice more than you expect. Comparing Instagram followers
Yoga sits right in that overlap between exercise and meditation. When most people think of yoga, they picture the physical practice of āsanas (poses) and vinyāsa (flowing sequences)–the aspects that provide a workout. But that’s only part of it; it also carries its own philosophy and a way of paying attention that feels different from exercise alone.
“I don’t know.” Three words that usually tell me someone is thinking straight. Yet they’re among the hardest words for many of us to say. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Few have mastered the art of walking it, and fewer still have the wisdom to know when to step back. People with enough self awareness to recognize their fallibility are–in my…
At some point in recent history, travel stopped feeling optional and started feeling like something you’re supposed to do. The rise of social media has dramatically changed how and why we travel. A 2019 study found that 40% of millennials choose travel destinations based on “Instagrammability” rather than cost or cultural experience 1 . While technology has proliferated travel…
You’ve heard of the mind-body connection, and maybe also the brain-gut connection, but have you considered the interconnected mind-body-gut system? These systems overlap more than the language around them usually suggests. The term “mind-body connection” has been a staple in wellness circles for decades. The gut-brain connection entered mainstream research much more recently.…
We are all artists, in one sense or another. Our society, unfortunately, does little to cultivate this innate creativity beyond the occasional obligatory art class in school. I dabble in creative pursuits myself, though I don’t identify as particularly talented or skilled in making art. Yet I still create, because the act itself brings its own rewards.
“High hopes, low expectations” has become something of a personal mantra for me. I could probably build an entire comedy routine around this concept. Many people navigate through life perpetually disappointed for one simple reason: their expectations tower far above reality. Whether in relationships, careers, or personal endeavors, they set themselves up for endless disappointment by…
Personal growth requires honest assessment of our blind spots, biases, and behavioral patterns that might be holding us back. In my many conversations with strangers, I’ve recently made a conscious effort to listen more and speak less. It changes the conversation almost immediately, and it shows me things about myself I’d usually miss. People reveal extraordinary depths when given…
Forming habits is surprisingly easy. Breaking them is often less difficult than we initially believe, with notable exceptions like nicotine addiction, which is notoriously challenging to overcome. I read Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, which despite its verbosity, presents a solid core concept: begin with small, manageable actions and gradually build until behaviors become automatic. The inverse applies…
Rejection stings in a way that’s hard to brace for. Whether or not it gets easier with age and experience remains an open question—the anticipation of rejection rarely prepares us for how it lands when it actually happens. I’ve developed a certain expertise in rejection through abundant experience. I’ve been rejected by educational institutions, potential employers, friends,…
Writing is not easy, and it’s easier for some than others. Personally I don’t find it hard to write about things that interest me, but I know some do. Different types of writing come more naturally to different people—I find writing fiction challenging, so I rarely attempt it. Perhaps that’s an opportunity for growth rather than avoidance.
Thought leaders worldwide have been weighing in on the AI mania that has gripped the world. There are many fascinating predictions spanning from doomsday scenarios to utopian futures. My bias is that biology will do what it always does and correct for it. Biology is the original technology—it has been around for 3.7 billion years and has had a remarkably long time to refine itself. Evolution is…
Being present is what it feels like when your mind is where your body already is. Buddhism, Stoicism, and cognitive behavioral therapy all circle this in their own way: pay attention to what’s in front of you instead of getting dragged around by regret, anxiety, or whatever story your brain is spinning up next.
While many modern psychological approaches have come and gone, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the few that gives people a clear way to catch bad thought patterns and do something about them. Its core idea shows up much earlier in the Stoics. CBT is among the most well-researched and effective forms of therapy available today, with countless studies demonstrating its efficacy for…
In the bygone era, we had résumés—and today, many of us still maintain these professional summaries (or curriculum vitae, for the academically inclined). But now we also curate digital identities through social profiles, which are often the first thing an employer or stranger sees now. For the professionally ambitious, these digital personas have become the initial point of contact, the thing…
When most people contemplate technology , their minds immediately conjure sci-fi spectacles: humanoid robots, sentient AI, and interplanetary travel. But technology extends far beyond these futuristic tropes. I think cities count too: large systems we built to solve human needs at scale. It’s not the future we wanted, but what we got. The backward cars and other weirdness are good examples…