The one where I wonder if Nigeria is bringing out the worst in me

But First, Excuses

Between the many end-of-school-year parties in Lagos, traveling to and from 3 continents (and the jet lag that follows), plus the indulgent amount of wine and cheese we consumed in France, I gave myself a permission slip to be tardy on this update.

To be an expat in a hardship location, is to live in extremes that are hard to comprehend. One day you’re sitting in traffic in the most populous (and extremely poverty-stricken) city on the entire continent of Africa while small kids tap on your car window and beg for money. A day’s travel later, you’re in a small city in southern France consuming enough wine and cheese to suffice a bear for his winter hibernation. Yes, there is guilt that comes with this. But there is also gratitude. And these feelings cycle back and forth in my mind like laundry in a washer.

Now that my family is back, we’re celebrating all our American-life firsts of the summer: first trip to Target, first trip to Chick-Fil-a, first trip to Kroger’s. Honestly, the abundance of things and convenience of life here is overwhelming coming from Nigeria. I constantly have to remind myself that I do not need to buy and hoard everything. But the feeling of scarcity coming from Lagos is hard to shake.

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On finding different versions of yourself

I recently read the article, “10 Things No One Tells You About Living Abroad Until You Do It.” One of the points in the article that resonated with me was this one: when you move abroad, “you don’t ‘find yourself’, but you do find a different version of you.”

It’s the name to something I’ve felt for a long time. The Nigerian version of me is more abrasive and more assertive than the American me could ever imagine. I’m quick to escalate an issue to the manager, constantly doubting the truth of anything someone says and always hot and sweaty. So hot. So sweaty.

In her book, Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert says it this way:

“One of the oldest and most generous tricks that the universe plays on human beings is to bury strange jewels within us all and then stand back to see if we can find them.”

The problem is that the Nigerian jewel that is buried in me has questionable value

Like, I’m wondering if its Fool’s Gold or possibly a type of Kryptonite?

This past Christmas we were riding on a train in Belgium I closed my eyes for a few minutes to rest. I opened them to find a train conductor guy standing over me and glaring, pointing to my feet that were propped on the seat in front of me.

I looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

He continued to glare in disgust.

“You can just kindly ask me to move my feet.” I snapped. “You don’t have to be rude. It’s not a big deal.”

Unimpressed with my response, he and I argued back and forth for a bit, until he threated to charge me a 50 Euro fine. I apologized against my will. He moved along to find someone else to glare at.

As we got off the train my husband whispered in my ear, “Wow, you really went full Nigeria on that guy.”

To my horror, he was right. And I hadn’t thought twice about it.

The optimist in me wants to think that maybe, when we do move back to America, I’ll figure out a way to harness my newfound assertiveness into some wonderful skill or job role. Perhaps, there is yet another version I’ll discover of myself? The one that has lived in Nigeria but has reacclimated to America in the healthiest way possible.

But I fear becoming a lady with a red-headed temper and Nigerian attitude is also a strong possibility. Only time will tell y’all.

A Day in the Life Update:

Good news, bad news: My friend Holly has agreed to tell us all about her trip out of Lagos, but she thinks she’s a bad writer. So, she and I have decided I will interview her when she and her boys come visit us in Michigan (in a few weeks) and I’ll write up her trip out of Lagos and the chaos that ensued.

Get Ready because: Flights were canceled. Hotels were not accommodating. Cats were left in luggage rooms. People almost wet their pants and missed their layovers. But alas, it has a happy ending! Holly and her family have made it back to Houston and are enjoying the perks of HEB so much that it brings tears of joy to her eyes.

Travel Recommendations:

For the summer, I’m exchanging our normal Nigerian Education moment for travel tips and recommendations.

1. Country Kids Resort in Southern France:

• First, I have to recommend Country Kids resort in Southern France. It’s like an exhausted parent dreamed up a resort and brought it to life. Everything was actually included in our week visit, including one spa service per person, two off campus excursions (they had a list for us to choose from), a wonderful kids club, all the good wine and cheese we could dream of, and really fresh wonderful meals. We were also able to stay in a spacious apartment, versus a tiny hotel room, which is always welcome.

  

• Country kids is especially well equipment for babies and toddlers as they even have free diapers onsite, kid toys in each apartment and cribs and toddler gear. They are a smaller resort as they only have 7 apartments onsite, so your family gets great attention with anything you need or want. My kids are 4 and 8 and had a wonderful time. They especially loved going to feed all the farm animals each morning. We hope to return!

  

• The only downsides are that 1. It was buggy out there. They did have bug spray, and we definitely used it. And 2. the roads where it was located were very narrow and often one-way streets, so it was a bit intimating to drive there. There were also lots of round abouts because, Europe.

2. Paris with kids:

• Space Invaders. When I did my girls trip to Paris, my friend kept pointing out these space themed street art mosaics. We finally learned these are done by a certain street artist and even have an app where you can collect them! Fast forward to our family trip, my 8-year-old Ray had so much fun with this app. I honestly think we could do a whole week in Paris just collecting these and he’d be content. Also, since we’re talking about it, this “Paris Invaders Map” app gives you a cheat code to where all the mosaics can be found!

• Macaroon class! Our kids had such a good time at this macaroon making class.

• Although we didn’t make it here, the Jardin Du Luxembourg has really cool remote controlled mini sailboats that kids can drive for only 7 euros. It was highly recommended in many travel blogs and remains on our list for next time! They also have a playground and lots of other play activities onsite.

3. Travel Reading Recommendation:

I’ve been reading the book Driving Over Lemons, which is a memoir of a couple who move from England to a farm in rural Spain, knowing nothing about how to run it. It’s a great low-key read, that brings about the loveliest visions of the Spanish countryside and the story of how the author makes his life there.