Reading · Kelly Nolan · RSS Amplifier

Each Thursday, the “How I Structure My Day” series features women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

Know that if you’re ready to learn a time management system designed for professional working women, the 10-week Bright Method program is open and ready to get you results! Learn all about it here – and send any questions my way! Happy to talk out whether I think it would work for you, your main concerns, timing, etc. Send me a message, and I hope to see you in there!

The Bright Method is a time management system designed for professional working women that helps you juggle it all – personal and professional, plus all that mental load. You can jump into my free 3-day program, the Reset & Refresh here. Enjoy!

Profession: College Professor (Tenured) at a Research University (R1)
Hybrid - Mostly WFH (1-3 days/wk)
Partner: Yes (Hybrid)
Children: Yes – 2 kids (7yo & 5yo)
Arizona
39

My alarm goes off at 5:30. I usually hit snooze once and then roll out of bed.
I aim to go running 3-4 days/week. On those days, I stumble out of bed, into workout clothes, and downstairs for 1/2 cup of coffee before I head out for a run around 6. (About once a week I meet a friend to go trail-running together, but the routine is the same).
I get back from my run around 7 and eat a quick breakfast. (While I'm gone, my husband shepherds the kids through their morning routine, getting dressed, and makes breakfast.)
If I'm going to campus, I'll take a quick shower and get dressed after breakfast, and aim to leave the house between 7:30-7:45, drop my daughter at preschool, and then head to work. It's usually 40ish minutes door-to-door including kid drop-off, so I'm usually at my desk between 8:15-8:30.
On WFH days, I'll usually wait to shower until after everyone leaves so I can be a little more present with the kids instead of multi-tasking getting myself ready along with giving them prompts.
My son's bus comes at 7:45ish, and we try to be out the door for the 5-min walk to the bus stop by 7:35. We just started letting him walk to the bus stop by himself, but until then I would walk with him on WFH days and usually get back by 7:55-8, then shower and sit down at my desk by 8:30.
For the most part, my husband and my WFH and in-office schedules are flip-flopped, so he's at home when I'm on campus and vice versa (we work in the same department, so it's a little nice to have some separation). But once a week we both have to be on campus, so we commute together. Those days look pretty much the same, except we don't leave until 8 so we can be sure our son got on the bus okay.

Set the coffee to brew the night before.
The big chunks of things are in the calendar to help me anticipate how much time things will take (shower & get dressed, dry hair, go for a run). This is partly how I realized that I could either go for a run or wash my hair but I can't do both.
Each kid has a checklist on the fridge for everything they need to do in the morning: get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, pack lunch, feed the dog.
My husband usually reviews the school menu with my 7yo at the beginning of the week so he can decide which days he wants to pack lunch vs. buy. He writes this on a calendar on the fridge and then he's mostly in charge of packing his lunch when he needs to (with some supervision). Our 5yo is still in preschool and must pack her own lunch everyday. She and my husband do this together, and we'll probably try to get her more independent on packing her own lunch (or buying lunch at school) when she starts kindergarten next year.
My 7yo gets stressed out if we're rushed, so I try to prompt him to get his shoes on 10 minutes before he needs to be out the door. (Sometimes it really does take him 10 minutes to put his shoes on). I should probably set alarms for reminding him to put his shoes on and when he needs to leave, but I just.... haven't.

On in-office days, I have about a ~20 min commute between preschool drop-off and work. About once a week, I will call my dad and chat with him during the commute. Otherwise, I'll listen to an audiobook or Kelly's podcast. (Kelly's podcast is probably the best way to get into work mode.)
On WFH days, I'm usually either showering and getting dressed pretty quick after my son leaves for the bus. Or I just go straight to my desk with no real transition. I usually spend the first 15-30 min of the day doing an email triage which also helps me orient myself towards the workday.

There's a good bit of variability across the week and from semester-to-semester depending on my teaching schedule, but there's a good rhythm to the week. I currently have a heavy service load and 2 course releases for those service responsibilities (directing a set of academic programs and serving on the leadership team in my department). (In case anyone outside academia is interested, most professors workload is distributed across teaching, research, and service, and the expectations for each of those varies from institution to institution. At research universities, for instance, tenure-track faculty may spend less time teaching and more time working on research, etc.). My institution provides percentages for expectations in each domain. Right now, my expectations are 20% teaching, 40% research, and 40% service. I try to use these percentages as a rough estimation of how I should be spending my time across a 40-hour workweek (8 hours teaching, 16 hours on research, and 16 hours on service). It doesn't always work out perfectly, but it's a rough guide.
Okay, back to the actual question. Every day is a little different. I usually create a weekly schedule for on-campus vs. WFH days based on class and meeting schedule. I'm actually not teaching at all this semester, but in semesters that I am teaching, I try to set up any other standing meetings within my control on my teaching days. Zoom is always an option, but I really enjoy being able to connect with my grad students and other colleagues in person. My brain works best in the mornings, so I try to avoid scheduling meetings in the morning and save that for deep thinking work (usually research). I'd ideally like to spend 1-2 hours each day writing in the morning to move research projects and manuscripts forward, but it doesn't always happen.
In addition to classes, I have regular 1:1 meetings with each of my grad students, lab meeting (all grad students together), a study-specific meeting for a big grant project I have right now. I used to hold lab meeting and grad student 1:1s weekly, but I switched all of those to biweekly this academic year which has made my schedule a lot more manageable. I also have about 5-6 other regular meetings (e.g., faculty meetings, committee meetings) that are held about once a month, along with other one-off meetings that come up. A few months ago, I realized I wasn't factoring those into my weekly schedule very well. So, I created a list of all of these semi-regular meetings and did the math for what the average time per week would be in these meetings. After that exercise, I realized that although each meeting is only monthly, with 5-6, I could anticipate 2-3 hours *weekly* in these semi-regular meetings and that most of these meetings are scheduled for 3-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I added a calendar entry "hold for meetings" from 3-4:30 on Tuesdays/Thursdays to avoid overscheduling myself. It has helped!
I also have a 1-hr calendar block each day for processing email. I keep this near the end of the day and move it around a little depending on meeting schedules.
Otherwise, I'm all in on The Bright Method, and everything gets a calendar entry. It really does help me go to bed feeling proud of what I got done each day and calm about what's on tap tomorrow. :) (As an aside, I accidentally displayed my calendar on a Zoom meeting with students last week. It may have made their blood pressure rise, but I think it also gave them some insight into how much professors are managing!)

I'm usually hungry for lunch by 11:30. I wish I was better about building in a clear lunch break, but most of the time I just heat something up and eat it at my desk (either at work or at home).
If my husband and I are both working from home (usually on Fridays), we'll often stop and eat lunch together. Otherwise, I would rather just power through so I can clock out by 4:30.
I also usually want a snack between 2:30-3 (especially if I went running that morning). I keep a few snacks in my office at work so I can have an afternoon snack.

I know I should do this, but I don't.

On campus days, I leave between 4:15-4:30, and I'm in charge of kid pick-up on those days. It's a 45-min trip to commute, pick up kid 1, pick up kid 2, and then drive home. I'm really excited for my youngest to start kindergarten next year and have both kids at the same school to cut down on this trip!
If I'm working from home, I'll stop working around 4:30ish and start dinner so we can eat pretty soon after everyone gets home.

I am a morning person, and by the end of the day I am TIRED.
Campus days tend to be meeting heavy, and I am especially drained on those days. I know my commute would be a good time to call and catch up with friends, but I just don't have the energy for it at this time of day. Usually I listen to an audiobook.
If I'm WFH, then I'm usually straight to making dinner. Sometimes I'll listen to an audiobook while I'm making dinner if I'm prepping something I know well.

5-6:30 eat dinner, hang out with kids and husband, homework with 7yo. If the weather is nice (like right now!), we might go for a walk together as a family. About once a week we have "movie night" (which is actually just 20 minutes of watching a nature documentary). Pro-tip: schedule movie night with your kids on the busiest work day of the week so you can lay on the couch with them.
My 7yo is in soccer right now, so he has practice 5:30-6:30 once a week. On those days, we end work a little earlier and eat a very quick dinner at 5 and then one of us will take him to practice.
6:30-7:30 - get kids to bed. My husband and I alternate bedtime. We start the routine cat-herding at 6:30 (a little earlier if it's a bath night). 5yo is in bed with lights off by 6:45ish. 7yo gets to stay up and read for a bit after we get through the routine, but we aim for him to put the book away by 7:30.
Whoever is not on bedtime duty will clean up the kitchen and walk the dog during this time. This is a pretty early bedtime so sometimes the 5-7 window feels compressed. But our kids wake up pretty early (usually by 6am) no matter what time they go to bed. Everyone is happier when they're rested!
After my kids are in bed, I get myself fully ready for bed -- PJs, face, teeth, etc. That way I can roll straight into bed when I want to. I started doing this a year or so ago and it feels miraculous. I used to watch shows first and then I would have such a hard time peeling myself off the couch. Having to get myself ready for bed at this point felt like such a huge hurdle.
Usually my husband and I will watch a show together from 8-9ish, then I go crawl into bed and read for 5-30 minutes until I feel sleepy enough to turn off the light and go to bed.

We usually eat between 5-5:30.
I have a note with a list of meals on my phone and I sit down and meal plan for the whole month at once. I used to do it week by week, but realized it takes pretty much the exact same amount of time to do it for the whole month, so now I do it that way.
I also have a few meals that I can make really quickly or will provide enough for multiple nights. (Example: One of our staples is tomato soup and grilled cheese. The tomato soup recipe makes enough for 2 nights and will keep in the fridge for 5-7 days, so I just plan that for 2 nights when I make it. It's especially helpful when I know I need to get dinner on the table quick.)

Set the coffee for the following morning and clean up the kitchen. That's pretty much it. I wish I could tidy up the whole downstairs, but that's not my current reality so I've decided not to care.

I started using Opal after Kelly recommended it. I have it set for a max time on social media for 30 minutes, and it also locks me out from 8:30pm - 7:30am. Otherwise, I would stay up doom scrolling after we finish whatever show we're watching.

My husband is also a professor, so we're lucky that we have similar schedules and a lot of autonomy. We do a lot of turn-taking and setting up routines. We make sure to set up our teaching schedules on separate days, so we know one of us can be on kid duty. We also don't have any family close by, so it's really just us and our created village.
At the beginning of each semester, we assign nights that each of us will be in charge of dinner (usually based on teaching and WFH schedules). This approach has worked much better than the game of chicken we used to play every night to figure out who was going to make dinner.
We also alternate kid bedtime. (We used to both do bedtime together every night. One of my kids went through a pretty rough patch with bedtime battles and it was really wearing on me to manage it every night. It's also easier as they get older.)
We also try to take turns with the kids on the weekends to give each other a break when we can. This changes in waves depending on how depleted we're feeling and what else we have going on. We might each try to take the kids out of the house for ~2 hours on weekend mornings. This has fluctuated over time. It used to be formally scheduled, but now it's more fluid.

Running with a friend 1x/week; Book club 1x/month.
We love having people over and have close friends over to BBQ (my husband's specialty) about once a month. We are really intentional about trying to get to know other people in our neighborhood or kids with similar ages, friends from school, etc. (My husband is also really good at this...I can sometimes get caught up in our own life/schedules).
We have a babysitter about 1x/month so my husband and I can go out on a date. I'm really trying to increase this to every 2 weeks. A few weeks ago, we also got a sitter on a Saturday morning, so my husband and I could go hiking and then to a brewery. This was my favorite date, so I'm going to try to do this more!
We're currently trying to coordinate with my MIL to come stay with the kids so my husband and I can take a long weekend for my 40th + our 10-year wedding anniversary. Fingers crossed that one comes through! My husband and I have only left the kids overnight twice in 7 years. I think this is the domain where it's really hard not to have family close by, but we've never known it any other way so it's also just our normal.
Once we transitioned from naps, we started doing quiet time on the weekends, and that really helps weekends feel restful. After lunch, kids go to their rooms for quiet time from 12-2ish. I will often lay on the couch and read a book, *maybe* catch up on email or a few minor work tasks (but not too often, I try not to work much on the weekend). My husband is now the only person who actually naps during this period. And before you feel too bad for my kids being sent to their rooms for 2 hours in the middle of the day, we see the most imaginative and creative play during this time! My daughter creates a whole world with her stuffies during this time. It's magical.

I talked about this before, but I try to run 4-5x/week. It's only been in the last 1.5 years that I've been able to integrate running into my life again post-kids, and it's all thanks to TBM. I don't think I would've realized I had the time for this without really laying everything out in my calendar. I'm also sorry to say that exercise does make things better. I sleep better and have a lot more energy when I'm working out regularly.
I love using the Runna app for planning/scheduling runs. It even generates a Runna subcalendar in my google calendar (my love language!) so I can see how the runs interact with other stuff we have going on.
Sundays tend to be our least scheduled day, so I'll often try to do a long run on Sundays.

Cleaners come biweekly. I swear this is some of the best money we spend. They clean our house better and faster than if I did it myself.
Childcare - fulltime preschool for our 5yo; after-school care for 7yo. Kids are in childcare everyday from ~8-5.
7yo goes to camps during breaks / summer. For the random days when a camp isn't provided, we will sometimes hire a babysitter from 8-12 to provide coverage (then we do quiet time from 12-2 and TV time from 2-3:30 to bridge the day).
Pool maintenance - pool guy comes weekly to clean our pool and check chemical levels. He can also help us troubleshoot if there's an issue.

I think I overshared already... There can be a lot of pressure that comes with being a professor, especially because you could always write another paper, apply for another grant, etc. But I also love how much autonomy I have over my work and what my day looks like. For the most part, I don't respond to emails or work in the evenings or over the weekend, and I'm still fairly successful. You can always find people who publish more or get more grants [or insert whatever metric is most relevant to your career], but they aren't living your life! I find it really helpful to try to create my own benchmarks and ignore what everybody else is doing. If you say yes to everything, then you won't have time for anything. I'm trying to exercise my ability to say no a little more, and it's a work in progress.
I also regularly remind myself that everything is a season. I'm deep in my season of raising kids, but I'm also still making progress at work. It doesn't have to be either/or. Maybe the pace is different than other seasons of life, but I've found Kelly's advice about all-or-nothing thinking really helpful here.
Kelly's advice is so good. Anything of hers I've implemented has generally made my life better.

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

Encouraging comments always welcome!
If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.
If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.
Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

HISMD: College Professor (Tenured) at a Research University (R1)

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