Reading · Kelly Nolan · RSS Amplifier

Each Thursday, the “How I Structure My Day” series features women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. Most women are not Bright Method clients – and it’s great to see the variety of ways people manage their time. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

Know that if you’re ready to learn a time management system designed for professional working women, the 10-week Bright Method program is open and ready to get you results! Learn all about it here – and send any questions my way! Happy to talk out whether I think it would work for you, your main concerns, timing, etc. Send me a message, and I hope to see you in there!

Profession: Church Business Director
In-office
Partner: Yes (hybrid)
Children: Yes – 3 kids (7, 5, & 3yo.)
Texas
Mid-30s

I wake up five minutes before the kids but don't get out of bed until their alarms go off at 6:45.
In the mornings I get out uniforms for my kids and do their hair and then get myself ready.
Everyone eats a granola bar before getting dressed.
My husband packs lunches for the kids and makes sure all backpacks are ready to go. My husband is either WFH or leaves after us, so we are lucky to have his full help and attention getting us ready.
Our kids attend school in the same area where I work, so I do all drop off and pick ups if I am working that day. The morning commute is spent talking about spelling words, traffic rules, tricky relationships with friends, hopes for the weekends, etc. My oldest child has severe ADHD and before her meds kick in we do a lot of arguing, so once she settles down I try to spend time being as calm and compassionate as I can be.

Every child has a morning chore to help us get out the door. My youngest child turns off all sound machines and light switches, my middle child clears all trash and dishes, and my oldest child makes water bottles for everyone.
My husband makes lunches, but every other week we batch make sandwiches for the kids and freeze them so they can be put directly in a lunch box, saving quite a bit of time in the mornings.
My oldest daughter and I take our medicine at the same time so both of us know the answer to "did I take my meds this morning?" when we inevitably ask in the car- and I keep a small stash for each of us in my bag in case we forget.
I have a formula for school uniforms; each day they have certain options to pick from so it's even easier for them to make decisions.

I arrive at work around 7:45 but my contracted start time isn't until 8:45. I have a heavy workload and tend to start work right away, but I enjoy knowing that I can write letters, make our monthly meal plan, go for a walk or zone out for a while if I'd like before getting started.

My work is different every day, but I have a list of three things I try to have accomplished by the end of each day. On Mondays it's handling weekend emails, coding last week's receipts and prepping for my weekly meetings, on Tuesdays it's sending out notices and reminders, making outside calls and ordering materials for the events, etc. I have very little control over my assigned hours, but if I can stick to my Mandatory Three for the day, I know I'll survive the week.
I work in logistics which means I spend a lot of time solving problems, and I tend to feel like a sponge for other people's feelings. I try really hard to recognize when people are rightfully frustrated at me or have pointed their anger in my direction simply because I am in front of them. I have gotten better at verbalizing to people when they have crossed a boundary with blame, and I think we're all better for it.

I eat out for lunch Monday through Thursday. I used to feel a lot of guilt about this, but then I realized it's really the only gift I give myself. I don't have to think about preparing a lunch or convincing myself I actually want what I've packed. I also am more willing to eat leftovers for dinner if I had a hot lunch. I tend to eat the same few things on rotation; just an entree under $10. Local mediterranean, Chipotle bowl, CFA salad, etc.

I don't, but as soon as I realize I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing any more I either go chat with a coworker or go for a walk. My coworkers are all very understanding about mental blocks and we all encourage each other to rest and take breaks as needed. This is especially helpful having an autoimmune disease. Sometimes I physically cannot keep going even when I want to, and my coworkers will remind me that I would force them to take a break under these circumstances so they're going to do it to me. I don't think I'd be nearly as successful or confident if I weren't surrounded by encouraging and supportive coworkers.

I am fortunate to be able to leave work at 3 pm most days, but I usually stay until 4:30 so my kids can play with their friends in the after school program. This gives me a little time to decompress, make a list of what I want to do the next day, change clothes, read from my Kindle or put my head down for a minute. I feel a lot of guilt about needing to miss work for illness, and staying past my required hours helps ease my emotions about this when I'm unable to come into the office.

I like to think about what my kids’ activities were that day so I know specifically what to ask about, what our evening sports are, anything I hope to accomplish that evening, phone calls I want to make with my kids, etc.
I am so good at being flexible when I know I need to be, but I much prefer to know what to expect. I am a kinder, more patient wife and mother when I have a rough mental plan of how our evening needs to look before I even start the evening countdown.

If we have sports that night, we cobble our lives together as best we can, depending on how mentally tough my husband and I are feeling. We have no set expectations on sports nights, it's all about survival. Our kids are still very little and only play community center sports, so this works for this season.
If we don't have sports, all shoes stay in the laundry room and clothes go directly into the washer. I get sick easily, so we do our best to keep dust, germs and pollen out of the house. My husband bathes the little kids, my oldest showers and then I shower as soon as we get home. My husband usually has started dinner or has set out ingredients for me to cook. After everyone is in pajamas we eat dinner and call both sets of grandparents on facetime, do homework/reading/spelling words, practice piano, watch a show and then do teeth. The kids do staggered bedtimes at 7, 7:30 and 8, and by 8 my husband I and are exhausted. We tend to either watch a show and fold laundry, talk about our days, read and just hang out.

We sit down to dinner at 6 pm almost every night, which wouldn't be possible if my husband weren't working from home so often. If it's a sports night, we do our best to eat together, whatever time that is. As my children move into evening sports and activities I can feel myself becoming resentful about changes in our schedule, which I need to grow on.
I spend a few hours a month making a meal plan and my husband turns that into a weekly online grocery order. We pick up groceries on Sunday night and fill up my car with fuel while we're there.

Immediately after dinner my oldest daughter unloads the dishwasher and then my husband turns around and loads whatever is ready. He runs it while we're at work each day. Everyone has recurrent tasks to check off on our Skylight calendar everyday so that I don't have to set phone reminders to ask them to pack their spelling list or piano books on certain days.
Other than that and school day baths for the kids, we just try to do our best. We keep a lot of structure on "regular" days so that when we have bad/exhausted/sick days, the house doesn't crumble.

We do our best to love each other well. When we try to put our family first instead of our own individual problems, my husband and I can sort through most problems with grace and understanding.

I am fortunate to have a husband who views us as equal partners in mental and physical load. We never went through Fair Play, but based off my understanding of the concept we tend to follow those principles.

I don't, and I am actively trying to fix this. I use most of my PTO for my own personal sick days or taking care of an ailing parent. If one of my kids is sick, I am generally able to WFH. On weekends my husband and I tend to shift into trying to catch up on chores or taking kids to birthday parties, and we don't have nearby family to relieve us for a break.

I teach a few after school movement-based classes to kids several times a week, and when I take my kids to the playground I walk laps around the structure or track. Between that and walking around downtown during my workday, that's all of my exercise.

Since we don't have help with our kids other than school, my husband and I lean into day dates and spending as much quality time with each other.

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

Encouraging comments always welcome!
If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.
If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.
Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

HISMD: Church Business Director

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