Too Good Sometimes

In 2017 I started my chemo journey. I was shell shocked when the tests came back as a rare Non Hodgkins Lymphoma (Type B Mantle Cell). I wasn’t one of those “sickly” people, what the fuck?

Flash forward to now, I’m still that guy, in remission from the above with an added Chronic Leukemia tossed in in 2021. So, you guessed it, more chemo. Thankfully now just a pill. And now, in remission from that but the beat goes on keeping that at bay.

But I’m not here to write about me. After yesterday’s three month check up, and frankly any check up or hospital stay since 2017, I realize how lucky I am to have the team of care providers I have.

These folks have seen me at my worst and my best. Often at the same time. In the first few years I was like Norm in Cheers when he walked into the bar., as I rambled into the infusion center like I owned the place to a chorus of “hey Brick!” These folks got me and as I paid attention, they got everyone else, no matter where they were in their journey. It’s a beautiful thing in the midst of such personal angst, confusion and hope.

When my GP, who I’ve known all my life, told me I had cancer, it was like an alien was speaking to me. Nothing he could say made it mean anything. It really is that much of a shock to your system.

One of the many specialists I met along the way told me that I wasn’t the first person to fall in love with my oncologist! It’s true, from that first consultation with Dr Braden, I knew he was going to try to kill me to keep me alive. And it worked. And then when he moved on and Dr Yuan took over, she seemed just as interested in me. How could I not love her too?

I think when you feel kind of helpless, those helping you become your most important people. So, outside of my family, when I have an ache or pain, I think first of calling my oncology care team. I don’t of course. I normally just realize an ache and pain is simple aging. But if I question anything, they hear from me. And that starts with my GP. He put me on the right path.

And when they bump into me outside of the hospital and say hello, it’s like seeing a hero in public. It really is.

What I’m really trying to say is that I can’t tell you how much the folks at Deaconess Oncology at Gateway in Newburgh, Indiana mean to me. From the doctors to the nurses, to the aides, to the administration, and everyone else, I’m indebted. In ways I can never explain. And frankly I wouldn’t know how to repay them except for just living my life and being empathetic and hopeful.

I hope your medical journey, no matter how small or large, is just as good.

Damn the torpedos and never look at your bill.

xxoxo

Brick

They let me have a little recording studio in my room. I did the Song Show, scored a documentary, and did guitar parts for a record. Amazing that I was treated like this… but everyone was one way or another.