I'm auditioning for Survivor - My wife thinks it's a terrible idea

If you’re reading this on Saturday, it means I’m currently standing in a two hour line that’s wrapped around the building of a small casino on the Oregon coast. Why? Because my kids have been bullying me to audition for the show Survivor ever since we started watching it, and there just happened to be an open call nearby, so here I am, stuck in an American Idol style line to wait my turn to give a one minute pitch as to why I’d be a good contestant on a deserted island competition.

Okay, so it’s not totally true that the only reason I’m here is because of my kids’ insistence, I actually really want to try out. Something in me needs to prove to myself (and my kids) that I can compete. I think it’s connected to the fact that I’ve tried and failed in so many different career paths in my life (acting, producing, real estate, etc.) and have settled into a kind of ‘stay at home dad/aspiring writer’ thing, that there’s this burning desire to do something wild to prove I still have some fight in me. Is it insecurity? Maybe. Is it my ego? Probably. But I really do have an inner-drive to show myself that just because I’m a lead parent who writes a Substack every week, doesn’t mean I’ve lost my primal prowess. So yeah. I’m trying out. And my family is excited for me. Well… most of my family.

As many of you know, Emily has a little experience with the whole reality competition show thing. She auditioned for, and won, HGTV’s Design Star back in 2010. We had just turned 30 and were living in LA at the time, trying to scrape by on her salary as a prop stylist and mine as a struggling actor. She was flown to New York and sequestered for two months as she went through the emotional rollercoaster that was Design Star. She had multiple breakdowns, got picked on by a bully contestant, and almost got voted out of many episodes, but fought her way back to win the whole thing. I wasn’t allowed ANY contact with her during the filming, other than occasional emails that were read by producers to ensure there were no spoilers getting to me. After such an intense, isolating experience, she came back a little… let’s just say ‘coo-coo’. It took a few months for her internal rhythm to let go of the fast-paced, constantly-interviewed, might-get-cut-at-any-time energy of the show. Admittedly, it was a difficult re-entry and took some work for her to reconnect with me.

So, she’s got some hesitations about what I’m doing in this line right now.