you can find part one here. this essay is part of the sisters to witches series and curriculum. join us on discord to take part in the discussion!

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Ludwina lies in her bed, refusing any sustenance except the eucharist. Without food, she is bound to her bedroom, too weak to leave her family home. But that hardly matters. People come to her, out of curiosity, or desperation. For rumor has it that Ludwina can heal wounds and save souls. In her holy starvation she communes with God, and in return he blesses her with a multitude of mystical gifts. If you drink from the miraculous milk of her breasts, you may be healed of your ills. If you appeal to her at her bedside, she may pray for the salvation of your loved one’s soul.

But beware: she knows the evil that lurks behind the façade of men. A priest may soon find himself shunned by the community if Ludwina reveals he harbors dark thoughts. Her own family must comply with her strange behaviors to protect themselves from the fury of God. After all, Ludwina’s self-inflicted pain is not only for her own salvation, but for the salvation of all souls on earth and beyond. As a servant of God, a chosen one, Ludwina must be heard and respected.

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The story of Ludwina of Schiedam (early 1400s) is only one of many examples of women choosing pain as a way to gain control over their own lives. Self-agency was often lost as girls approached adulthood: their families would arrange marriages for them, or send them away to convents, or to work as servants or laborers on far-away estates. Any refusal of these predetermined paths were more often than not left unheard, or ignored.

It’s no surprise then that many women took drastic measures to have their voices heard. In the case of Ludwina, it is said that, while she did harbor strong religious faith, she also had problems with her mother which only grew greater in adulthood. The clashes between the two women may have left Ludwina in a difficult position within her family. Following an accident that left her in chronic pain, she may have grown to be too big of a burden for a mother that already resented her.

In pain and facing displacement from her well-to-do beautiful family home, Ludwina may have seen self-imposed starvation as a way to regain control over these uncontrollable situations. Being bound to her childhood bed may have been a better fate than being sent off to marry some merchant’s son she had no care for. Ludwina was only one of a long line of women who chose starvation as a tool to not only prove their faith and devotion, but to escape situations they found abhorrent.

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