Get Over Yourself Soon!

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I’m squatting on the beach like a gremlin, using my index finger to follow the lines on the clam, exclaiming to no one, IS THIS CLAM REALLY EIGHT YEARS OLD? Should I care about anything else, ever?

We are Earth, We are Water mimics what’s within is without. It elicits the feeling that change upwells: the uneasiness of security cracking beneath our feet and within us. When surrendering to the natural pace of life, the understanding of the web that holds us together is within reach—for something to change, we must let it take a new shape.

All we needed was movement.

Lea’s sitting on the futon (that’s giving us both back problems) and I’m on the chair. We’re talking about effort, I tell her how shocked I am by what I’m receiving from putting in less [effort]—I’m getting what I want. I’m letting myself receive without pushing to match, it’s like I can exhale without reaching out my hands to offer something.

Lea softened with an “I told you so” look — less effort, more ease. More effort, less ease. There’s a season for both.

The 3PM hour closed with a prayer of peace, at least that’s what it sounded like to me.

It will burn, so collect materials for the fire. Choose what is ready to alchemize, everything happens in time. Loosen your grip, allow it to ooze, expand, then settle.

If forced into the arena, sunbathe. It’s not our first time here.

All we needed was movement. All we needed was movement.

Touching my chest to open it. Tap to release stuckness, make contact with the body. Crack open, then cover, then open again.

As I evolve, I’m more interested in changing with the seasons than making resolutions in the dead of Winter. The dream world is steady: sun-filled rooms, my dog, a pottery + yoga studio, loved ones, teaching, big meals and peaceful nights of sleep. I don’t [think] I want extravagance—when it comes down to it.

—I taste salt water in my mouth just thinking about it. If you follow the crest, crash, and backwash of a wave, you will feel less pain. The waves come in sets, there’s always a lull.

Watching the birds fly in formation while I drive, feeling guilty about the fossil fuels burning from my car. Thinking about whether it makes more sense to ditch my car, get a hybrid, or keep it. Thinking about the laundry I want to do and how tight my jaw is. All I needed was movement. Slide into a wide legged lunge, deep breath into the belly of my leg, can’t remember what I was so worried about.

Change comes from the inside-out. Do I have the courage to get over myself?

On a flight to an island facing sea-level-rise, flooding, and earthquakes—one that we did a report on earlier this year. To be human is to contain multitudes, does composting for 5+ years mitigate this flight? To be human is to try to justify everything. Can being human include embracing change?

I switched to a climate-friendly credit card this year thanks to Sheila. It seems like a never ending list, but it’s a spiral not a line list. As we keep going, maybe the circles will expand to reach every corner. The only motion is forward, even when it feels like we’re going back.

Thanks for being here. xoxo