misua is a variety of salted noodles made from wheat flour originating in fujian, china. it's also what my great grandmother called me when i was younger. ...
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my dog of (nearly) sixteen years died last thursday, four days short of his sixteenth birthday. he never got to eat his lamb meatloaf or the australian beef burger that i was going to make him. it’s summer, too, so he wasn’t wearing his favourite jammies when he passed. and he’d just taken a bath, so his managerial bowtie was in the wash. the only thing he had on was his diaper. the silence is…
yotsuba&!, kiyohiko azuma am i too late for bearblog carnival ? i wanted to post this earlier but between work, life, and a general sense of doom i only got around to writing it now. this month's carnival is hosted by kami , who asks us "what's your favorite ___ in your niche hobby?" while i don’t really know if it’s niche, i absolutely love japanese curry—both making and eating it. last year,…
yotsuba&!, kiyohiko azuma whenever i talk about my grandmothers, i feel like i always talk about them with a heavy heart, but it isn’t always so sad and so heavy. sometimes, when it’s funny and silly, like whenever i see the word “atmosphere.” my grand-aunt, auntie sol, once received a love letter in her younger years from a suitor named ben. it goes: dear sol, the atmosphere of understanding must…
twelve expressions (1999), inday cadapan. pastel on watercolor ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ content warning: discussion of an eating disorder & body image issues ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ i have always lived by the fashion philosophy of “if it makes you happy and comfortable, wear it regardless of whether it’s ‘in’ or not.” it’s something that i’ve tried to follow and live by so closely that it’s reached my dad’s…
and so here she lies, another warrior who stands in your way to the peak of the bearblog trending mountain. you watch her fall, armour clattering to the ground as she lets go of her sword. you watch the life leave her eyes and in a flash of light, her body disappears. she leaves behind a brown satchel. ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆⋆✴︎˚｡⋆…
after an anxious tuesday at the doctor’s, i safely turned 25 last friday. my ultrasound didn’t show anything alarming, aside from the “more than 20” little guys that come with my pcos. there’s still a part of me that’s worried the doctor may have misread my ultrasound and brushed off my case to just being pcos. i try not to think about it. my 25th birthday came quietly. my parents and i bought…
mushishi, yuki urushibara tomorrow, i'm going to the hospital for a long-awaited, long-delayed ultrasound. seven years of annual check ups; annual observations to see if there’s another cyst growing in my reproductive system that hasn’t been quite like itself in the last handful of years 1 . over the weekend, i had two hair-raising dreams. saturday, october 18th: an unwanted pregnancy out of…
ikoku nikki/diary of a strange land, tomoko yamashita or better yet, how do you leave your motherland? this morning, i received an sms from my bank saying they weren’t going to approve my application for the waiver of my annual fee. this annoyed me. the fee was worth P4,500—that’s two games. maybe three or five books, depending on the price. a shit ton of coffee. one and a half month’s worth of my…
a new year means a new holy week. this year again, my family made the pilgrimage to the farm of my godfather. this time, we brought maurice. i introduced her to my godparents as my best friend since fourth grade—my godfather smiled. you gained a new godfather today , he’d told her. at the farm, the first thing we did was eat. as always, it’s the same mung bean soup that i’ve eaten for the past so…
cliff walk at pourville, claude monet it’s a thing on tiktok right now to write scenarios about meeting up with your younger self for coffee. i’m not gonna act high and mighty and say that i don’t normally do trends (i am easily influenced after all). after a few of the same tiktoks, i wondered how it would be if i had coffee with myself from ten years ago. last saturday, i had lunch with friends…
