We're Homeowners!

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind in my world because we made a huge leap and bought our first home! This is something I’ve spent years saving and planning for and after over a year of house shopping together exploring the possibilities of modular homes, building a home on the family land with adobe or SIPS or just renting because it is easier… we are home owners!

Our new home has high ceilings and a large gathering space to host and feed the people we love. One of our first nights here we prepared homemade Bhutanese momos and Manny’s favorite chocolate chip cookies for our guests. These walls have enough space for us to work from home, host our friends and welcome our future babies into this world. We are exactly where we need to be.

While I had a dream of a home with history- vigas and saltillo tile surrounded by fragrant sagebrush- I am settling into suburbia like I never imagined I would. After living off grid wrapped in adobe walls with arched doorways acres away from neighbors, sharing three walls with others worried me. But we are already making friends with our next door neighbors, taking walks at sunset and feeling grateful for the sidewalks where we can one day push a stroller around the neighborhood. There are boxes of books still waiting for shelves, an echo in the house waiting to be filled with a couch and an ache in my heart and the bare dirt covering the small back yard. Yet I know Mama Marna will be in my hands next month as I plant trees, garden beds, hollyhocks and mammoth sunflowers from the Taos pueblo seeds.

Each day, I settle more. I fall asleep uttering prayers for gratitude for the gift of this home with my beloved as we continue to build our beautiful family.

This moment took me years of developing a conscious relationship to money. Growing up with scarcity, I was taught to take refuge in belonging that came from never having quite enough.

Buying a home required me to overcome my guilt for earning more than my Dad ever will, accept the judgement that my friends had when I chose to work hard and save, and embrace that every stressful moment of signing a 30 year mortgage is not an obstacle or a distraction to my spiritual path, but an essential part of it.

I am here to love as fully as I can and a huge part of that is creating a family with my beloved. By saying yes to the deep roots of our love, I am reweaving and remembering, healing and reimagining what's possible in a family. It is important to me to nourish our bodies with the best homegrown carrots and chard, cooked in non toxic pans with occasional high quality animal protein. It is important to me to rest our bodies and that we have enough to fill tables with food to feed our friends and let ourselves be overflowing conduits of abundance.

All of that requires money because we live in the material world. Much of what I have uncovered in the last six years of reforming my relationship to money is my own beliefs that money makes people rotten and rich people are evil. If I continued to believe that, my nervous system wouldn’t have allowed me to save enough for our 5% down payment or to announce joyfully to the world that we just bought a house!

I’m writing this to invite you to celebrate this big beautiful moment with us! Thank you for following along and receiving this tender and exquisite step.

If you too are investigating your relationship to money and your capacity to receive in a world where we are often taught to over give, my conversation with Michelle Atlas and Adriana Rizzolo might be of interest to you. I share about how my mama’s death changed how I saw money and the importance of receiving to create true reciprocal life-giving relationships. Money is one of those taboo subjects like sex and death which I am dedicated to talking about. More and more my spiritual practice is about diving into these taboo subjects that have been outcast to the shadows to discover what parts of myself are ready to be freed.

Thank you for reading and witnessing us!

You’re invited to join me for an upcoming offering…

Michelle Atlas invited to me to be a part of her free series Money Mastery for the Mystical Woman for deep, creative, intuitive woman entrepreneurs who long for a business where you can express all of your gifts and passions. Our conversation on July 30th is focused on Opening to Receive.

Grieving Loss Experienced During Pregnancy & Birth Join me Aug 3rd to delve into the mysteries of existence, drawing upon ancient cosmologies and the wisdom of nature to guide us through the waves of grief with my inspiring doula teacher Aya Maria

The Wild Heart Podcast with yours truly diving into divinity in daily life

1:1 sessions with Willow to explore the inner life