Happy birthday, angel mama
Somehow I expected the anniversaries in the second decade
would be smoother
but this year your ghost is a new flavor of heavy
because I don’t want to get married without you.
Today I found the precious photo you took of me as a girl
dressed up pretending to get married for the millionth time
posing in front of our favorite wooden door in the living room with a makeshift veil
I want you here today to stitch together the silk wedding dress of my dreams
with your expert seamstress hands
and to see how much I’ve let love into my heart
You would be so proud!
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, mama
My life is blossoming
and I don’t want to do any of it without you
Just writing that, I can hear you chuckle
because we both know that’s impossible.
The presence of your absence
the weight of grief in my eyelids
sometimes makes you feel closer
but so does this photo you took of me 25 years ago
and the sunflowers we planted for you today
You’re so much of the reason I’m happy to be here
and I only love you more the longer you’re away
I am sending deep love to anyone else grieving the absence of a loved one through a significant life threshold.
You’re invited to join me for…
The Wild Heart Podcast with yours truly diving into divinity in daily life.
Grief Conversations: Tending the Broken Open Heart with our wise friends speaking to specific losses like midwifing death and ancestral connection
1:1 sessions with Willow to explore the inner life - stay tuned for new 1:1 sessions focused on opening to love!
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