Utilize *This* Mom's Fantastic Persuasion Abilities

One of the golden rules of human nature — as so perfectly illustrated by Dale Carnegie in his classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People — is that “Ultimately, people do things for *their* reasons, not our reasons.”

As such, in order to spur someone to make a decision and take the action *you* feel they should…*they* must feel they should. And, this will most likely only happen as a result of you asking the right questions.

One of the most powerful communicators I know puts it this way...

Key Point: “Questions allow the other person to collaborate on the data you’re collecting. That done, people {rarely} invalidate their own data when you use it to ask them to consider a change.” —Dianna Booher

In her book (her 46th book of 50, actually!), What More Can I Say: Why Communication Fails and What to Do About It, Ms. Booher provides a wonderful example of a mom who did just that with her teenage son and his choice of cars:

I recently overheard a mother using a series of questions to lead her sixteen-year-old son to trade in an older-model sports car for a newer sedan, not quite the model the teen had in mind:

‘What kind of gas mileage do you get in the sports car? What kind of mileage does the Kelley Blue Book estimate for the sedan? So, at the current price of gas, how much would you save on gas per year with the newer car? If you sold your used sports car and invested that money until graduation, plus the gas money you’d save between now and graduation, how much money would you have to buy a brand-new car for college?’

The teen opted to save for the newer car at graduation.

Whether you’re leading a huge team, a small committee, or one of your children…if your goal is to gently encourage the other person to willingly commit and buy-in to your request — rather than to make them grudgingly comply — then it’s most productive to help them see why it is in their best interest to do so.

And, as is usually the case, questions are the answer.

Today’s Exercise: Consider times when, in the persuasion process, you might have attained the more desired result by asking questions and what those questions might have been. Then, of course, utilize this information when you find yourself in similar situations in the future.