We Build the Leaders We Follow

Leadership does not rise in isolation. It emerges from the soil of collective choices — what we admire, what we tolerate, what we reward.

In a culture of speed and spectacle, leaders are often not chosen for their character, but for their ability to capture attention, disrupt norms, or symbolize ideals we’re reluctant to examine too closely.

Recently, I listened to a CBC Ideas episode titled “You Might Hate Elon Musk, But You Empowered Him.” It didn’t ask whether Musk is a hero or a villain. It asked a more unsettling question: What does our fascination with him say about us?

That question stayed with me — not because of who Elon Musk is, but because of what his rise reveals about the systems we participate in, often unconsciously.

In public discourse, we tend to speak of leaders as though they exist apart from us — elevated, autonomous, self-made. But the truth is more layered. Leaders are often mirrors, reflecting the values of the people who support, ignore, or excuse them. They are shaped not only by their ambition but also by our engagement, our silence, and our complicity.

We repost the boldest voices. We reward provocation with visibility. We call chaos innovation and often dismiss restraint as weakness. We claim to want integrity, but we’re drawn — reliably — to spectacle. This is not a criticism of society as broken. It’s a recognition that culture is cumulative, and every like, share, or indifference contributes to the outcome.

This doesn’t mean we’re powerless. Quite the opposite. It means we have more agency than we often acknowledge. If we understand that we help build the very platforms we later critique, we can also help reshape them — with discernment, accountability, and conversation.

Leadership is not just what happens at the front of the room. It’s what we endorse in boardrooms, classrooms, group chats, and dinner tables. It’s how we respond to power, how we discuss complexity, and how we hold space for disagreement without retreating to division.

We don’t have to agree on who inspires us. But we must reflect on why we are inspired — and what that inspiration says about our priorities. Because what we normalize in conversation, we legitimize in culture. And what we excuse in leaders, we accept in ourselves.

So instead of asking whether a certain leader deserves their influence, maybe the better question is: What are we choosing to uphold?
And what narratives have we endorsed?

Leave a comment