Backseat Gaming

I’ve backseat gamed a lot of games that I wouldn’t play, which is probably why it took me so long to figure out what I like.

My partner likes management games like City Skylines, Factorio, and Faster Than Light which don’t interest me as far as I can tell. There are some games that fall into the “I might play it if it wasn’t so difficult” category, like Dark Souls, and some that are intriguing, but some how not enough for me to give it a go, like any game by Hideo Kojima. I’ve backseat gamed many of his: Policenauts, Metal Gear Solid and Death Stranding. I just love watching them being played more than the idea of playing them myself.

They’re so compelling, from the cinematic cutscenes, lengthy dialogue sequences to the fast paced boss fights. Kojima strikes me as a film-maker at heart and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed soaking up hours of his work without worrying about controls, or where I’m going, or what I’m supposed to be doing. I recently backseat gamed Death Stranding 2: On The Beach. I’m completely invested in this series although I’m not completely sure I know exactly what’s going on in them (a bit like The Locked Tomb series of books by Tamsyn Muir. I’ve read them multiple times and adore them, but don't ask me for a detailed run down of what happens in them!)

Anyway, I watched a DS2 playthrough from start to finish and was shocked to be moved to tears during the final scenes.

“But this isn’t even my game!” I blubbed to my partner.

I realised afterwards that perhaps, it was.

On that note, I’d like to hand you over to some other writers and their experiences of backseat gaming and how it’s shaped their own relationships with video games, and perhaps even the people closest to them.

Please give the following contributors a follow or subscribe to their blogs. The gaming community on Substack is so great and I’m very grateful for the new friends I’ve made here and the excellent content they’re creating that gets delivered straight to my inbox.

Special shoutout to Harrison Polites and Katya Ryabova for including me in their own collaborative posts which you should definitely check out on their respective blogs.

Thanks for joining us x

Auzin Ahmadi, Soft Hobbies

What stands out to me the most about backseat gaming is what it reveals about the person who’s playing. We all play games to relax and have fun, but the way we reach that end goal is as varied and diverse as the landscape of gaming itself.

Growing up, I watched my dad play 4X strategy games like Civilization and Heroes of Might & Magic, and he taught me some of the intricate mechanics of those games. They completely match his analytical, computer programmer mind.

Recently, I was at a friend’s house who is a huge Sims fan, and it warmed my heart to see her love and care for the generations of Sims that lived under her watchful eye. The Sims asks you to play God, and she chose to be a benevolent one.

My boyfriend relaxes with 90s creature shooters like Doom, Quake, and System Shock, which bring him a super cozy feeling of nostalgia and community with online fangroups. He also exercises his creativity by designing Doom mods.

I enjoy turn-based combat for a quiet sense of accomplishment, like the battles in Triangle Strategy or Baldur’s Gate 3. Once the battle system is ingrained in my head, it’s fun to move all my little chess pieces (characters) around and knock the opponent off the board. It feels like I’m using my mind, but it’s not stressful or urgent.

Our taste in games is totally custom to each person. Try asking your loved ones why they like the specific games they do, or try backseat gaming to see what appeals to them about a specific gaming experience. You might learn more about them, or get a new perspective on a game you didn’t connect with before <3

Margot, Margot Plays Video Games

Throughout my gaming life I have also been a backseat gamer. During the Sega Megadrive days, I would watch my friend play and act as another pair of eyes, calling out dangers or when to heal or save if things got a bit dicey.

More recently I have been watching my other half play a couple of games, one of which I would probably have liked to play too, but I loved to see him enjoy it so much.

The two games were The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and Ghost of Tsushima. Both are big open world games, which is a problem if you want to see any action. My other half has to check everything. This means hours of him climbing trees and finding Korok seeds (if you are lucky) in Zelda: TotK and hours of him chasing foxes and birds, and sitting in hot springs in Ghost of Tsushima.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love watching the games but they initially felt so boring because whenever I was watching he wasn’t exactly doing anything exciting. I would ask him to do a quest or at least fight something, so I could see how the combat worked and so I could be useful. Although my usefulness was usually just shouting “Heal!”, “Eat something!”, “Low health!”, “Almost!”, “One more hit!”.

So this is my backseat gaming style, watching you battle and fight, so I can encourage you to keep your health up. :)

Harrison Polites, Infinite Lives

Guilty as charged: I’m a terrible Mario Party co-op player. As fate would have it, I have more than three friends, so when I manage to tempt a group into a game, we usually have to split into teams. And wow, do I feel sorry for my teammate.

We share controller time to keep things fair, given I own the game and know how to play. But that doesn’t stop me from coaching them, and perhaps getting slightly salty when they lose. I want them to improve, sure, but I also want to win.

It’s a personal foible I’ve worked on, and I really backed off during my last round with an absolute Mario Party novice as my co-pilot. What will be, will be; whether a Boo steals our Star or a ‘Chance Time’ event flips your commanding lead into last place.

Still, the fire — and the temptation to just snatch the controller off them — remains.

Vincent Krasauskas, Midlife Mixtape

Ever since the first time I heard a line of John Motson commentary on FIFA 97, I’ve been impressed by sports game developers’ attempts to make their presentation as realistic as the TV viewing experience.

Watching livestreams of modern Madden games, it occurs to me how every natural-sounding line of commentary, every faux commercial break, and every exciting pass or rush play adds to the realism of a TV presentation – and in terms of an exciting game experience, I think I prefer it to watching the real thing.

That isn’t so much down to the realism of the Madden experience, so much as it is the many annoying little things about watching a real NFL game. Constant ad breaks, commentators’ corny attempts to paint the key players as larger-than-life and each big play as a cinematic masterpiece – it all gets on my nerves. I’ll stick to the video games, thanks.

Noah Wizard, Game Maker’s Mistakes

My parents worried that games would take over my life; it took years to wear them down.

But by then, the damage had been done. My friends who grew up with games were able to platform and aim, but I could not. I’d missed the window to develop my twitch reflexes.

So many games felt like they were taunting me. I felt very left out.

RPGs saved me; you can manually ‘lower the difficulty’ by over-leveling.

There are so many games that I can’t play, because I can’t lower the difficulty.

My friend loves Halo. I knew the lore and level design were great, but often, all I could focus on was the game defeating me.

Now, he plays them, I watch the recording, with a Google Doc open, giving him my thoughts. The doc is over 27,000 words long, and he can comment on it with his follow-ups and answers to my questions.

ROP, ROP’s Passions

As a Gamer Dad, I’ve introduced my Junior to games since he was five, to simple ones that challenge without overwhelming. My role? The most important one: be the comfy chair. He’d sit in my lap while I guided his steps, encouraged risks, and taught him that failure isn’t the end.

That’s proper Gamer Dad backseat gaming—being both the seat and the “back” support.

Now, at 9 years, he’s no longer in my lap but by my side. We take turns, challenge each other, and surprise one another—him with Minecraft builds full of secret rooms and traps, me with “elderly knowledge” from decades of play.

And what I’ve found… many favorite moments come when I just sit and watch. See his skill grow, his awe at beautiful or touching scenes, his joy at overcoming the “impossible”. It is a wonder, and I think that’s the heart of backseat gaming, as a Gamer Dad: watching him play, learn, and grow!

Jim Mander, I Play Games So You Don’t Have To

For years I didn't really like puzzle games. Then a few years ago I had terrible bouts of insomnia, and the only thing that consistently lulled me to sleep were long, boring videos. Luckily, I found a YouTuber that mostly played puzzle games, including the venerable DROD series. DROD has dozens of user-made campaigns, which translates to hundreds of hours of soft yammering as he analyzed a different Gordian Knot every screen.

I'll never forget how frustrating it was watching him bumble around ignoring something I spotted ages ago. I'll also never forget my relief finding the perfect audio-visual opiate. And the puzzle-solving osmosis paid off - I've warmed to that genre ever since. Last year, it came full circle: that YouTuber released his own DROD-inspired game, Leaf's Odyssey, and I beat it under my own power. So thank you, Alex Diener, for being just the right amount of boring.

Sean Thomas Milligan, CTRL + ALT + DECAY

I started as a backseat gamer. I grew up watching my older brother play PC games in the early to mid 1990s that are today considered vintage (or even ancient)--games like Wizardry 7, Alone in the Dark, Space Quest, and Myst. While I was cutting my teeth on our family’s modest NES and SNES library, playing simple platformers like Super Mario Bros. 3, my brother was wading through the deeper, more arcane and complicated mechanics of old-school RPGs and adventure games. These titles featured obscure rules and controls that were just a bit beyond my grasp as a young child, but watching my brother confidently stroll through the foreboding forests and gloomy dungeons of games like Wizardry 7 ignited my imagination. It was a way for me to experience games I wasn’t ready to play myself. More importantly, it was a formative and valuable bonding experience between two brothers with a shared love of gaming (even if he sometimes grew annoyed with my constant questions asked over his shoulder!). These remain some of my fondest gaming memories.

Katya Ryabova, Playing This Week

Backseat gaming was what brought me into the gaming fold. As a child, I loved watching my brother play—we shared a computer, but I enjoyed being his co-pilot more than being in the driver's seat. Prince of Persia, Need for Speed, Aladdin… All single-player games that we still played together.

As an adult, for the longest time, I hadn't owned a computer suitable for "proper" gaming. I didn't play games, yet I wanted to take in the stories they told. I was especially drawn to horror. There is something about the agency that horror video games give players that elevates them above horror films for me, no matter how great. Watching Let's Plays of the likes of Markiplier and Jacksepticeye allowed me to experience horror without fear, but with a dose of humour that I enjoy to this day. I came for the personalities, but stayed for the stories.

Slowly but surely, I made my way into the driver's seat, too. I play a lot more games now, but my favourite Let's Play creators are still my go-to for catching up on the latest and greatest horror releases. Backseat gaming is a beloved companion to my gaming hobby.

Kevin T.C, Exploring The Games

Backseat gaming can be the most infuriating thing as a gamer, especially when playing fighting games. It’s all based on the fact that people think they can do better than you or that you’re suboptimal. And I went through it a lot when I attended Smash Bros. Ultimate locals when I was stationed in Virginia. I drove around an hour, I think, with some friends of mine to compete, and it was fun, even if I never won one match.

There’s one particular run that stood out to me of my competing couple of times. It was the usual match experience, in which I was playing my Jigglypuff, and I really wished I had my headphones on. I could hear two people behind me talking between each other, although not whispering or anything, normal tone, talking about every little mistake I made.

“I would’ve rested there.”

“He can’t hit a back air?”

“He needs to rest more.”

But it was around the usual backseat that would throw me off my flow when I took a stock, and my opponent reacted unexpectedly. As soon as I took a stock, he screamed fuck, and slapped his right knee. I could not focus on the match anymore, or the backseat people, because I just wanted to leave. Fighting game people, or just smash people, are crazy.

The Pneumanaut

Even the best mountaineers never climb alone. Feats of strength and endurance are best undertaken alongside others; people who will encourage you, support you, and offer a helping hand when you’re dangling on the cliff's edge. I, unfortunately, had nobody to spot me when I first climbed the Dark Souls mountain (the 2018 remaster). It was a gruelling experience, to say the least. That’s why, when my wife expressed an interest in playing, I was keen to sit on the couch beside her and offer whatever guidance I could. I would be her Sherpa.

But imagine my surprise and delight when she took to the game like a duck to water. She was slicing guys with her +15 Zweihander before I could even say ‘Praise the Sun!’ And her crowning achievement – overcoming the gankiest of all boss battles, Ornstein and Smough – that was all hers. (And Solaire’s.) No controller-passing required!

Gonçalo Santos, Button Musher

I beat Split Fiction back in April with my beautiful fiancée, who is an occasional gamer. Given my two decades of practice, I often ended up reaching the objectives sooner than her. Which led me to watch her struggle with camera controls and depth perception in platforming sequences, a unique backseat gaming experience. I’m getting better at not offering unrequested advice, but it is a tough urge to combat when it feels like we’re reading the same book in two completely different languages.

I do find holding a controller as natural as holding a smartphone, but this fluency in videogamish has made me blind to things that were obvious to my fiancée, despite the fact that she fights with her right analog with a furious passion. She solved most puzzles and breezed through the levels in which camera controls were taken away from us. Split Fiction ended up being one of the most fun games we’ve played, and— through the experience of watching how different everything was to my soon-to-be-wife— it feels like one which I beat twice.

Thank you so much for reading! BabyGamer posts will always be free, but if you’d like to support Laura further, you can always buy her a lil coffee! ☕

KO-FI