A compendium of Luxury Beliefs ...
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Yesterday I tried to ring up Boots to try to get them to deliver the perfume that they should have delivered a week ago. Having plucked the customer services number out their site which was pretty much so over complicated a task that I felt like a cross between Alan Turing trying to break the Enigma code and Jean-François Champollion deciphering the Rosetta Stone (0345 609 0055 if you want to know…
So Dr Arday's sadly predictable suicide... Some thoughts came to me... I think Cambridge was his third Professorship. So asking why Cambridge didn't do a computer plagerism analysis of a PDH written a decade previously is slightly preposterous. I mean you'd be looking at the whole of their work over a decade to make a hiring decision. If mistakes were made they are decades old. But looking at the…
Today I tried to ring up Boots to try to get them to deliver the perfume that they should have delivered a week ago but find myself talking to a bot which Boots describe as AI but is actually an automated script telling customers to fuck off and suck it up. Eventually I managed to pluck the customer services number out their site which was pretty much so over complicated a task that I felt like a…
MPs are not allowed to resign from Parliament. However, a parliamentary loophole exists that allows an MP to vacate their seat by asking the Chancellor of the Exchequer to disqualify them from sitting in the Commons. An MP can do this by requesting, and accepting, office as either the Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds, or Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead. Both offices (or…
On the 16th of June Croydon Council wrote to confirm I was entitled to a Low Traffic Neighbourhood PCN Refund According to the Council... They gave a cheque to the postman He put it in his sack Bright early next morning He brought my letter back They say they wrote upon it Return to sender, address unknown No such number, no such zone We had a quarrel, a pcn spat They write they're sorry, but my…
With the main parties refusing to stand candidates in Clacton and Nigel Farage's main rival is refuse container who is never seen there. I sould suspect he clicked the refuse publicity box if he wasn't on all the media rounds elsewhere including Newsnight wheere he said he would not do any door to door campainging as it is too hot. Kemi Badenoch has written to everyone in Claton to explain why…
Re TPO21844. I tried to submit the same data a third time on reading your latest pusillanimous emails but your tedious website will not let me. But then you don't actually read my emails. I did not ask you to turn anyone into the police. I suggested you ask PPM to turn themselves into the police. You say you cannot take on the role of the police but the police are the public and the public are the…
Canterbury and the River Stour are both still there... ...they haven't changed. Not one jot.
The BBC said today that it had to cancel "Live at the Apollo" for budgetary reasons. Apart from requiring both a camera and a stage light the "Live At the Apollo" logo contained a dazzling number of electric lightbulbs which collectively had become simply too expensive to turn on. Some of them, according to an internal report were as bright as 600 lumen each. With twenty such bulbs deployed to…
....an Ombudsman with terms of reference so narrow that even paper doll man struggles to get through them. The previous two complaints were rejected outright on the grounds that I hadn't exhausted PPM's infinitely long complaints procedure. With a rejection rate of 90% you've only got a 10% chance of not being told to fuck off by the TPO. However, in the interests of entertainment I shall soldier…
