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I am on the road, and the ice cream business is booming at my current stop in central Pennsylvania, where there is a big baseball tournament underway. Kids, if you're bored watching your older siblings swing at terrible pitches, sneak on out to my ice cream truck. Mention this post to get a special tour of the back of my truck.
Based on the measurements I took of Mr. Pearlman last week, today I began building legs for his robot seeing eye dog in my basement laboratory of the Birch Street Nursing Home. But I soon realized that my tools, including a hammer, a crescent wrench and a set of screwdrivers, were not going to be enough. What I really need is a drill press, a soldering station, a rotary tool for fine adjustments,…
Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I continued work on the robot seeing eye dog for Mr. Pearlman. It's going to be a great surprise for him. I want it to be the perfect height so that he's able to pet the dog without bending over. I knelt next to him to get a measurement, hoping he wouldn't know what I was doing. I was successful, but I did such a good job at being quiet that he didn't know I…
When collecting autographs, don't just focus on celebrities. Get autographs from regular folks too. You never know when a random signature might come in handy. If you worry that asking non-famous people for autographs might seem suspicious, one option is to stand near the finish line of a local foot race, and then collect autographs from the first dozen people that cross the finish line. No one…
I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home early again today, but this time before heading down to my basement laboratory to work on the robot seeing eye dog, I wrote a note to the patients and left it on the poker table. I didn't want them to worry about me like they did last week when they thought I wasn't there and had been hit by a car. I got right to work, using some of the metal pieces I…
I was excited to get back to work on the robot seeing eye dog, so I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home a little early today. I immediately went down to my basement laboratory, and carefully took out the robot dog, which so far was just a battery and motor. Last week I had wrapped those parts in Mrs. Chang's old sweater to keep them safe. I started today by removing all the other spare robot…
Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I spent most of the morning working on the robot seeing dog for Mr. Pearlman. In the box of parts that Grandmother had donated to this project, there was a motor and a battery. I began there, connecting the two with a portion of the heap of wires Grandmother had also included. I was so excited when the motor began to hum, and I wanted to continue working.…
The special I've been running has been a hit with the kids, and because of the heat wave in most parts of the country, I've decided to extend the special through July. For each ice cream a child purchases, he receives a big squirt of sunblock, which I spread on all his vulnerable areas for him. I've been purchasing sunblock by the gallon, and have already gone through four containers in my efforts…
This morning I took components for the robot seeing eye dog to my laboratory in the basement of the Birch Street Nursing Home. Last night after I showed Grandmother my blueprints for the dog, which she applauded, she let me have some of the leftover parts from her robot maid. Today I left the patients to their poker game and began sorting through the materials. I quickly realized I had enough…
Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are ever interviewed on a live news program because your neighbors committed a heinous crime, rather than offering the usual drivel about how they seemed like nice people, look straight into the camera and tell the viewers to follow Grandmother's Fanny Game.
