I have several blogs here. This one is personal. I’ll write about experiences and the ups and downs of life here. Thanks for stopping by. --u...
I've always liked to define things. Take things to their most simple and essential meanings and core. I've been thinking a lot about myself and what I "mean". Part of that came from my dad asking: "What do you want out of life?" when I was a young teen. I couldn't understand what that question meant at the time. It felt profound, but obvious at the same time. "Success." "Happiness." "Love." He…
I've always had the hardest time writing when life is going well, or even okay. I think it has to do with how my mind processes positive and negative emotions. When experiencing positive emotions, it feels odd--like I don't even notice them happening. In the moment, I have to ask myself if I actually feel good. If I don't ask, they may just pass me by and I'd never know they happened. It almost…
I want to want to live. I'm tired of being tired. I want to want to do things. I'm not suicidal, But I wish I felt like I was living. ... Happy birthday, to me. ---untitled_operator P.S. --- This is a medical related thing that can/will be fixed, I'm not in any danger. I'm just tired of being surrounded by mountains that need to be moved. --- Reply by email
Life has been so chaotic that I haven't even really been able to process that I've been married for over a month now. It's been relentless, and I've decided that I'll have to take that time by force and share it on my blog to acknowledge the beautiful moment in time that started me on the path I happily chose for the rest of my life. I didn't think marriage would really change anything about my…
It's strange how, the older I get, the more weight death seems to carry. I had many bouts of severe depression and times where I wanted to end it all, but it feels like there’s a threshold you cross, where you want to keep living. Not even necessarily for yourself, but for the people you love. As a kid, or even a young adult, death was simple. People were born, and people died. There wasn’t much…
~ Hey. You probably don't recognize me, but I'm you from the future. I know you always expected something like this to happen, so I took it upon myself to make sure it did. I know you're going through so much right now. Always trying to figure out if you have a place to live or not, trying to protect your mom and siblings, all while they do everything in their power to tell you that you're always…