Posting more than one blog post about random technical topics a year on average.
Many months ago, a slightly younger Tim thought that porting mainline Linux to his old Android phone for the purpose of experimentation would be a great way to pass time. (In hindsight it was, but not for the reasons imagined.)
Last time, we figured out why not being able to retrieve EFI variables while installing Linux results in an empty UEFI boot menu and an inaccessible BIOS setup menu. Now, we want to discover what is going wrong and what we can do about it.
A few months ago, I got given a laptop with a very interesting condition. The BIOS setup menu was supposedly inaccessible, and nothing apart from the default boot option works. Time to investigate to see what is actually happening and what we can do about it.
TL;DR: It appears you can’t. Strato vServers seem to be containers instead of actual virtualized servers. I’ll update the post (or make a part two) in case I ever get it working. Until then, this post mainly serves to document what I tried.