a place for thoughts and whatever else I want to write about. all stories are fictional! thoughts are all mine...
i feel like my emotions flip flop a lot and i wish how i could just feel locked in and hyped and focused all the time without using anything of course. but ig that is just part of being human. i feel crazy sometimes but i also remind myself that it is okay. i think being alone recently has kinda hurt me. i dont like being alone so often. it sucks to eat alone on the weekends. i cant tell my…
it is, in their minds, the natural next step to prove they are still ahead of the curve against their peers in elementary school you were ahead if you were invited into the gifted program in middle school you were ahead if you were in advanced math classes in high school you were ahead if you got better grades, higher SAT/ACT scores, took more APs, got accepted into prestigious colleges in college…
I'm stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom where I open the mirror cabinet swinging it wide open to clumsily grasp for my contacts. I deftly assign my contacts to each eye, then brush my teeth, change my clothes, shave my stubble, finally styling my hair with some product and a comb into a matte, messy slick back. Into my tote, I throw in two books, one non-fiction and one fiction, a notebook,…
i dont think i ever properly explored the way i was treated when I reacted emotionally as a child by my family. sometimes i think about it and it was just so ridiculous. people always called me soft because i cried often. maybe i do cry often, but i was often put down because i liked watching anime or playing video games. video games is a waste of time. watching cartoons is for children. man i was…
I like to take walks and sometimes on those walks, while I am admiring the nature/scenery, I realize how insane it is for me to be experiencing. For my mind to give me the ability to think, have memories to feel, to think about my own thinking. These days it boggles my mind to think about how many years came before I even remembered my first one. Sometimes the thought of all this coming to end…
We assume that reincarnation involves losing memories and this is easily tested by realizing we do not have memories of a past life. However, this assumes that reincarnation happens discrete for each person. What if we all reincarnate into a repeated history, but with our memories and we are in the first pass of reincarnation.
context: I am a new grad swe at a relatively large corporation In sixth grade, I decided that being a professional coder was what I wanted to do. The idea of my hands across a keyboard crafting beautiful lines of code at a dizzying speed was enticing to me. Being able to write a collection of code blocks and orchestrate them together into a intricate software was the main driver to pursue software…
I have such a huge desire to buy more clothes and I want to say that I cannot buy brands like buck mason or todd snyder because i can't afford, but it's not really true. I think I have like an aversion of spending that much money on clothes even though I really want it. I'm sure a lot of people have different opinions on whether it is worth to buy pants or polos that are in the 100-300 dollar…
That is the name my grandma gave me when I was born. It means hero or someone of great accomplishments. Perhaps, that is why I have always been drawn to the main characters in shows and books. I have an intrinsic belief that I am the same as them. The center of the story, the chosen one, someone who will have an impact on the greater scheme of things. In a way, I wish that I was a part of some…
I'm trying to make the most of my life. What does this really mean? There are some days where I feel like I need to make the most amount of money possible and work at the most prestigious companies. Then, there are days where I feel like I should quit everything and put all my effort into being with loved ones. Sometimes I wonder if I care about my loved ones if I'm not willing to sacrifice…