Tying shoes is fun

This morning, as I sat trying to figure out what to write, my son walked into my office unannounced, as he usually does just as soon as I‘m about to begin working on something, and asked me if he could get out my shoes—the ones with laces—and tie them.

“Well, of course you can,” I told him.

He proceeded to take out the four pairs I had sitting (read: gathering dust) under my dresser.

This is not at all important to mention, but if we’re getting to know each other, or at least you’re getting to know me, I feel I must come clean:

One of my many, many toxic traits is buying shoes and never wearing them. Wild, I know. From what I’ve concluded, there are two reasons for this:

For one, I like what I like. When I find comfortable shoes, I stick with them until they’re worn out or until I find another pair that reaches my desired level of comfort.

Last year, I bought this really cool pair of Nike Air Maxes. And let me tell you, these are probably the coolest shoes I’ve ever owned, aside from the red and white Adidas TMAC-2 lows I had in the early 2000s that the youth of today would consider “vintage.”

I’m the opposite of a shoe person, but I’m married to one, so I know what cool shoes look like. And he gave me his blessing, too, so that counts for something. Anyway—as cool as they are, I’ve barely worn those Nikes.

The other reason for buying shoes and not wearing them is that have what I describe as “bad feet.” I guess you could say that’s an entirely separate reason, but I consider it part of my comfort preference.

I only imagine my self-diagnosed “bad feet” result from wearing the most uncomfortable, flat, wear-them-because-they-look-good-with-your-going-out-shirt foot holders back when I thought I was cool.

Isn’t it funny, though? No partially clothed 20-something is standing (read: swaying) on a barstool at 1:50 am, judging other people’s shoes. We were too busy worrying about getting a few more drinks before the lights came on and confirming where the best after-bar party was.

Boy, those were the days.

The second reason for my bad shoe-buying-and-not-wearing habit is that I wait for the “right time” to wear my shoes. I know, that even sounds silly to type. I just don’t do many activities where I can justify switching out my shoes that often.

Basically, I wear shoes out of necessity, not to be stylish.

And I’m at a point where most of what I wear, do, think, and how I act is out of comfort—not because I’m trying to fit in.

That’s how I like it. It’s just easier.

And my main goal is to have an easy life.

My son learned to tie shoes last weekend.

By “learned,” I mean that I finally showed him how.

Unlike his mother and father, he’s got a great memory. So I knew he’d know how to tie shoes forever as soon as I showed him. So, I take full responsibility for him not knowing until six days ago.

But I was right.

After one anticipated meltdown, he figured it out on the third try and tied all the shoes in the house.

Today, as he pulled out all of my barely worn shoes, I told him he didn’t need to tie all of them.

“Tying shoes is fun,” he said.

Maybe if I took his advice, I’d wear my shoes more often.

Writer’s Note: While looking for a picture of my cool Nikes, I found and bought some other cool Nikes. I can’t promise you that I’ll wear them.