I Cast Gall of Stones!

“I’ll relax once DELVE is done”

“I’ll relax once Apothecaria is done”

“I’ll take some time for myself after Apawthecaria is out”

“Everything will be fine once For Small Creatures Such As We is done”

“I’ll relax once…”

I’m not sure how to write this post without sounding like someone on r/linkdinlunatics but here goes.

I have an unhealthy work ethic that forces me to keep going despite multiple warning signs that I should stop. In previous years its been stress induced vomiting, nose bleeds, and an immune system so overloaded that I was getting sick at least once a month. This year I’ve had maybe two weeks of feeling fine and we’re in… damn, how is it already August.

For the most part I’ve been rationalising my declining health as “oh I had an infection” or “I’ve not been sleeping well since X”. The truth is I’ve been putting myself under a massive amount of mental and emotional stress for years and this is probably just my body finally breaking down under it.

After getting For Small Creatures Such As We out to Kickstarter backers I should have taken a few weeks. Months even, to rest and recover. Instead, I threw myself into another project and gave myself all of these artificially short deadlines to stress over. Before that was done, I foolishly decided to promise another game in 3 months! And I haven’t even been able to get started on it because I’m having to juggle so much between active projects, fixing our house post re-wiring (it’s been 2 months and I’m still working off of a folding table), and dealing with all of the admin stuff that being a small business owner requires.

A few months ago my partner confessed that she was genuinely scared I was going to die because my health has been getting that bad and somehow that wasn’t enough to make me stop. Vomiting blood on a weekly basis shouldn’t be anyone’s normal and somehow I let it become mine.

So, I’ve taken the drastic decision to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do: take a break.

I will continue to work on Spirit Tea but much slower and only when I want to.

The Patreon poll project, Downfoot Abbey is getting put on the shelf until Spirit Tea is done and I feel ready to start it.

I’ll still be at Tabletop Scotland next month and I’ll still be fulfilling orders from blackwellwriter.com

And still doing my taxes, promise x

But I’m going to slow down and not commit to anything for the rest of the year.

Share Blackwell Games Newsletter

A Quick Look Back

Fiona from Sleepy Sparrow Games keeps making the joke that I’ve released “a bajillion” games and actually, she’s not too far off.

In the 6 years I’ve been doing this I’ve released 32 games/expansions. That’s 5 and a bit games every year. Some years have had more while others have had less. Last year I released 6 games, this year I’ve released 3 and was trying to get a 4th and possibly 5th out.

That’s a lot of games and I am so proud of how far I’ve come.

So yeah, as much as part of me is going to be gnawing relentlessly like a corporate Gollum trying to convince me that I’m “going to lose its all precious.” I think there’s more than enough there to keep you all sated for now XD

I’d love to hear your thoughts about my games in the comments below. Who knows, maybe it will help me relax and remember that I’m not just feeding my games into a giant machine.