Due to circumstances described later in this post, I failed to produce a weekly post for the first time since launching in October 2024. With apologies to my loyal readers, please enjoy the following, one week tardy.
What’s this dog food doing here?, I asked Mom after we pulled into the garage. My parents were visiting for the weekend and we’d needed a few groceries for the meals we had planned, including Sunday’s full turkey dinner. Our family loves turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. Especially stuffing. Why limit ourselves to once per year?
Your father must have put it there when he emptied the car, she reasoned. The Ziploc bag of dog food was sitting atop our mini-fridge. Mom doesn’t have a dog, but my brother does, and because he frequently borrows Mom’s car, it wouldn’t be surprising if a bag of kibble had been forgotten.
What’s this dog doing here? I asked Mom after following her up the basement stairs. You can imagine my surprise when I found Corolla, my favorite dog in the world, exploring the sights and smells of an unfamiliar kitchen.
That wasn’t all. Instead of the usual two kids, there were five. My brother Jeff, his wife Sandra, and their three young sons decided on a whim to celebrate Valentine’s Day/Presidents Day weekend in Pittsburgh. Aside from the guarantee that some viral or bacterial calamity would be visited upon our household before the festivities ended, which always happens when these five cousins get together, that sounded good to us.
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As if the twin holidays didn’t promise enough excitement, the Olympic Games were in full swing, and best of all—the Cornell Lab of Ornithology (the good folks behind the Merlin and eBird apps) had designated February 13-16 for this year’s Great Backyard Bird Count. Oh, there was also the annual travesty that is NBA All Star Weekend—to this avid basketball fan the most putrid from of entertainment.
But birding is never putrid! If you’ve never participated in the GBBC, doing so is easy. All you have to do is fire up the eBird app and count birds wherever you want (doesn’t have to be your backyard) at least once and for at least for 15 minutes over the four-day span. Any checklist submitted to eBird in that time is counted toward the GBBC, providing valuable data to scientists who track bird populations and concern themselves with the welfare of avian life on Earth.
My brother is more than handy with a pair of binoculars, and since our yard is plenty birdy with its woods and creek and myriad feeders, we decided to take the backyard part literally and do a daylong list at home on Sunday.
Here are some highlights from our GBBC!
6:45 a.m. American Crow flyover kicks off festivities. I’ve been providing a daily hard-boiled egg to our trio of American Crows for almost two years, but they’ve been largely MIA for weeks, possibly due to an unintentional offense caused in January when, upon spotting them in a neighbor’s yard, I slowed the car, rolled down the window, and shouted, I just put your egg out! They cawed their annoyance and scattered, and I’ve only seen them in passing ever since. Must attempt to regain their trust this spring.
7:15 Fill mesh feeder with the avian equivalent of crack cocaine—Wild Birds Unlimited’s Finch Blend. Hear singing Tufted Titmouse, White-breasted Nuthatch, Blue Jay. Return indoors to await American Goldfinches and hopefully one goddam Pine Siskin. Pine Siskins are currently in the county but have never deigned to visit the very feeder I bought specifically for them.
7:25 No American Goldfinches. No Pine Siskins. No birds period.
7:29 American Goldfinches begin to arrive. Pine Siskins do not begin to arrive.
7:30 American Goldfinches arrive in force.
7:34-7:50 Northern Cardinal singing. First of four Eastern Bluebirds spotted at suet.
7:52 Northern Flicker and one of four Hairy Woodpeckers spotted at feeders. First of 15 failed attempts at photographing either.
7:55-7:59 Second and third attempts at photographing Hairy Woodpecker
8:01 Request by our father to turn on cable news network denied. Appease father with winter Olympics broadcast.
8:26 Reprise four-year tradition of being fascinated by curling while failing to understand rules.
8:31 Dark-eyed Junco spotted.
8:41 Nephew hacks at extremities with jagged Minecraft sword.
8:50 Golden-crowned Kinglets heard by me. Golden-crowned and Ruby-crowned Kinglets seen by Jeff. No photos attempted because screw trying to photograph kinglets.
9:00 Drive to bottom of ravine behind house. Quartet of Mallards spotted.
9:11 Overwintering Yellow-rumped Warbler spotted by Jeff. Award-worthy photo captured by Nate. Screw trying to photograph warblers too.
9:45 Pick up Calicifer, our aging Kia Sorento, from mechanic.
10:06 Stuff turkey with traditional sage dressing. Realize I forgot to dry brine. Do not sweat it.
Turkey take #1—I’m a traditionalist when it comes to turkey. I don’t want a lot of seasoning mucking things up. Hold the garlic and onion powder. Forget the lemon pepper. Hard pass on cayenne, smoked paprika, and whatever else. Let salt, pepper, and butter work their magic.
11:45 Dry February ends in mid-February with fancy bourbon provided by Jeff.
1:07 p.m. Finally capture Hairy Woodpecker.
1:50 Capture Carolina/Black-capped Chickadee (probably Carolina?) attempting staredown and looking ridiculous.
1:56 Find nice mix of songbirds under neighbor’s feeder, including female Northern Cardinal, Chickadee, and Dark-eyed Juncos. Present but not seen—Mourning Dove, Song Sparrow, Downy Woodpecker. On neighbor’s feeder—finches, House and American Gold.
2:00 Turkey in at 325°F.
Turkey take #2—I’ve know all about the alternative methods—low-and-slow, high heat, cooking the dark meat separately, spatchcocking, smoking, deep frying… all great, but I still prefer to stuff the bird whole and roast at 325. One thing I don’t trust is the little plastic pop-up button. Meat thermometer FTW.
2:05 Most American Goldfinches I’ve ever seen in one spot.
I know our feeders look a mess. I do clean them, but have you ever tried reasoning with 75 Goldfinches? I can’t stop the birds from doing their business whenever and wherever they will.
2:10 Witness horrifying crash by Finnish freestyle skier Elias Lajunen during one of his big air qualifying runs. Vow to leave flying to the birds for rest of life. Hope Lajunen is okay (have since read he suffered a concussion but is recovering well).
2:37 In recognition of Presidents Day, reflect on the contributions of John Tyler, Rutherford B. Hayes, Millard Fillmore, and other titans of the Executive Branch.
3:00-3:20 Outdoor search for raptors turns up no raptors. Suspect Red-tailed Hawk scream is actually a Blue Jay.
3:27 Witness Red-bellied Woodpecker doing Red-bellied Woodpecker things (being noisy. Chasing other birds off feeders. Not having a red belly. Etc).
3:33 Find House Finch acting chill on branch and admiring potential mate at feeder.
3:34 White-throated Sparrows forages for scraps beneath full feeder directly overhead.
4:30-5:00 Jeff breaks to play Super Mario Bros 2. Nate breaks to prepare feast.
Controversial Nintendo take—SMB 2 is the best Mario Bros. game for the NES.
4:37 Suspect mega-rare Five-striped Sparrow, Rustic Bunting, and Red-crested Cardinal visit yard during half-hour lack of vigilance.
5:00 Happy hour martinis prepared as daylight begins to fail.
5:02 Turkey out. Proceed to pick at little golden bits of skin that have roasted in concert with the stuffing. Celebrate Valentine’s Day by providing delectable morsels to my wife Alex.
Turkey take #3—The best part of the turkey are the little golden bits of skin that have roasted in concert with the stuffing.
5:15 Final sweep of feeders as turkey rests. Goldfinches. So many Goldfinches.
6:00 - whenever Sit down to sumptuous meal. Thanks to keeping a close watch, turkey comes out juicy and delicious. No dry, overcooked breast. No sad conclusion to a day of cooking. No sad conclusion to a day of birding, either. Final count—24 species in tiny contribution to big global science event.
7:30? 8:00? Meal ends. Surfeit of food and drink takes effect. Time loses all meaning.
8:?? Settle into our cozy living room to enjoy some entertainment by the fire. Before slipping into heavy, turkey-fueled sleep, annihilate Jeff in matchup between two pixelated, Mario-shaped competitors in NES classic(?) Golf.
??:?? a.m. Awoken by our son Santiago, informing me he has vomited. Awaken to find two others have also vomited, thus initiating inaugural Great Indoors Barf Count. By the time germ-ridden guests have returned home to Akron, stomach flu has swept through entire family, no member spared.
Except one.
Aftermath Debilitation. Misery. Inability to write. Birding with BillBow publication delayed one week.
Stomach flu
No elaboration required.
Mesh feeder with base
Not because it has been ineffective in attracting Pine Siskins. The base on our mesh feeder provides an additional feeding station for birds, but it does not drain well, and any rainfall mixes with trapped seed to form a disgusting slurry that must be immediately cleaned.
What a nice flurry of subscribers in the last two weeks! New subscribers—welcome! Old subscribers—thanks for stickin’ with me! Unsubscribers—don’t let the door… ahhh never mind 😇
Current subscriber count—962
That’s all for this week. Did you participate in the Great Backyard Bird Count? Where did you bird over the GBBC weekend? How many species did you get? Any surprises? Do you have any deeply held turkey beliefs? Did you get sick and 🤮 Let’s do our thing in the comments👇
Until next time, thanks for reading, and try not to puke your ass off!
nwb ♎︎
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This post was human generated. All media by Nathaniel Bowler.
Developmental edits by Alexandra Hidalgo.
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